Browse By ABC

Backstage Scene Lyrics > Jerry Springer: the Opera

Backstage Scene Lyrics

[JERRY (spoken)]
What the fuck is that idiot Warm Up Man doing out there?
He's turning my people into a mob! You're right, Steve, he's got to go.

[WARM UP MAN]
Hey, Jerry,
What can I say man? Tough crowd!

[JERRY (spoken)]
Nice to see you, Jonathan.

[WARM UP MAN]
Sorry if I let those assholes get a little too loud,

[JERRY (spoken)]
Those assholes are my audience.

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, don't bullshit me,
You and me both, we know,
They are scum!
Filthy cocksucking scum!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And your job is to control those scum and keep them from upstaging my guests.

[WARM UP MAN]
Pimps and perverts,
Teenage whores,
People so fat they get stuck in revolving doors!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And we get them through those doors and onto a plane to Chicago.

[JERRY'S INNER VALKYRIE]
Sluts and faggots,
Gimps eating maggots.

[JERRY (spoken)]
We've never had a maggot eating gimp on this show!

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, you could do anything.

[JERRY (spoken)]
What are you talking about?

[WARM UP MAN]
You could run for Senate!
Or even president!

[JERRY (spoken)]
If I want my dick sucked, I'll call my agent.

[WARM UP MAN]
Looks like you're cruising,
Playing it safe.

[JERRY (spoken)]
You're way out of line, pal.

[WARM UP MAN]
You need a challenge,
And I've got just the thing,
Gonna make you sweat,
When you're in the ring.

[JERRY (spoken)]
Jonathan, let's cut this short: you need help. Help and a new job.

[WARM UP MAN]
NO! You-

[JERRY (spoken)]
So thanks for this little chat. Oh, and good luck in the warm-up industry!

[WARM UP GUY]
Ooooooh! Sorry, faggots, if I'm out of line!
Sorry if I'm taking too much of your time!
Mr. Fucking Bigshot, sun shines out his ass!
Take your job and shove it; it's been such a blast!

[JERRY (spoken)]
...Well, that's the last we'll see of him.

[WARM UP GUY]
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!
I'm so lonely...

[JERRY (spoken)]
That went well.

[JERRY (spoken, to audience)]
You know, when I was a younger man, I was passionate about civil rights, education, the anti-war movement. I was even elected to the City Council. Then one day, I, uh- I went to a prostitute, and I payed her with a check.

Next day, it was all over, but I faced up to it. And later, i was elected mayor of Cincinnati. Now that's the third largest city- ah, in Ohio. There's only 2 thigns you need to know about politics.
1: You'll never get anywhere if you don't speak up for what you know to be the truth.
And 2: some things should always be paid for in cash.

[JERRY (spoken)]
My cards, where are my cards?
Last Update: February, 10th 2016

Jerry Springer: the Opera Lyrics

  1. Act 1
  2. Overtly-Ture Full Company
  3. Audience Very Plainsong
  4. Ladies & Gentlemen / Have Yourselves A Good Time
  5. Bigger Than Oprah Winfrey
  6. Foursome Guests
  7. I've Been Seeing Someone Else
  8. Chick With A Dick / Talk To The Hand
  9. Adverts 1
  10. Intro To Diaper Man
  11. Diaper Man / Montel Cums Dirty
  12. This Is My Jerry Springer Moment
  13. Mama Gimmee Smack On The A**Hole
  14. I Wanna Sing Something Beautiful
  15. Adverts 2
  16. First Time I Saw Jerry
  17. Backstage Scene
  18. Poledancer
  19. I Just Wanna Dance
  20. It Has No Name
  21. Some Are Decended From Angels
  22. Jerrycam / Klan Entrance Lyrics 
  23. Act 2
  24. Eat Excrete
  25. Gloomy Nurses / Purgatory Dawning / The Haunting
  26. Him Am the Devil / Every Last Mother Fucker Should Go Down Lyrics 
  27. Grilled & Roasted
  28. Transition Music Lyrics 
  29. Act 3
  30. Once In Happy Realms Of Light
  31. Fuck You Talk Lyrics 
  32. Satan & Jesus Spat Lyrics 
  33. Adam & Eve & Mary Lyrics 
  34. Where Were You? Lyrics 
  35. Behold God Lyrics 
  36. Marriage of Heaven & Hell Lyrics 
  37. This is My Cheesey Lyrics 
  38. Jerry it is Finished Lyrics 
  39. Jerry Eleison Lyrics 
  40. Please Don't Die Lyrics 
  41. Take Care Lyrics 
  42. Martin's Richard-esque Finale de Grand Fromage
  43. Play Out Lyrics 

Popular musicals