I Hate Musicals lyrics
I Hate Musicals
When i go to the theatre
I hope it's a play
With no singing and dancing
To get in the way
Theatre is language
And that should be all
Music belongs at the Carnegie hall
Not a reason on earth
As far as I know
To write, mount, and open
A musical show
(She goes for another refill.)
Darling, I’ve been a theatre critic for a hundred years and it’s always the same.
The story is moving
Chock-full of suspense
The plot takes a twist
The mood is intense
Then someone sings a song like this!
It doesn't make sense
I hate musicals!
Gangs don't look tough
When they twirl and they snap
My gorge starts to rise
If a nun starts to tap
And wouldn't you just love
To slap Maria von trapp?
I'll tell you how to solve a problem like Maria. “Hey,
Rolf! (Points.) She's over there!”
I hate musicals!
Revivals are irrelevant despite redesign
Musicals do not age well
Like blue cheese and wine
Without a plot those jukebox shows
Are light as a feather
With scores of old recycled songs
Cobbled together
For me to review one
Demands alcohol,
The upshot is i show up late.
If show up at all
There's rows of those
Who find these shows?
Delightful, not me
To me they're debris
And three hours long
I hate musicals
But not as much as I hate...
This song!
They can hold you hostage,
For as long as they want
Oh boy, here comes another verse.
From some washed-up cu..ow
Give me Arthur miller, beckett
Chekhov or Mamet
And Jesus was a savior
Not a superstar goddamn it!
So keep your chorus lines
Of gypsies and mames
I'd rather see a flick
Or bowl a few frames
No matter who is starring
Tm never enticed
It’s way over-priced
Even though i don’t pay
I hate musicals
But i fear they’re here to stay
Yes, | hate musicals
But not as much as.
I hate ballet!
Last Update: October, 26th 2023