The Naked Maid lyrics
The Naked MaidThe Naked Maid
Music and Lyrics by David Pevsner
I told an old aquaintence I was desperate for a job.
And oddly then he asked if I was anal or a slob.
He said he cleaned apartments and he could use a hand.
But there's one stipulation his customers demand.
Scrubbing toilets with your dick out.
Vacuum carpets in the buff.
Making sure your buttocks stick out.
Waiting for the sheets to fold and fluff.
Flash a lot of muscle. While dutifully you hustle,
To make a hovel sparkle like the Taj Mahal.
Nudity is fun to me. Attention is like sex to me.
Cleaning is good therapy so till my bills are paid,
I really sort of love my job. I'm a naked maid.
At the start the client's nervous.
That's when you become the host.
Tell them all about your service.
Laugh about which Olsen Twin you hate the most.
Next you start disrobing. And then begin your probing.
Looking for the tools you need to clean his house.
Paper towels and Bathroom Duck.
And all the while he wants to fuck.
Unless he's cute he's out of luck, my business cards inlaid.
Not Mop and Blow or Spic and Spank it says The Naked Maid.
He will follow you like cattle.
Let him ogle all he likes.
As you clean you sort of prattle
Entertain him as the moment strikes.
An odd scenario. Some say it's scary-o.
It's naked stand up comedy except you use a broom.
Working on my hands and knees. Getting into crevices.
Knowing that I'm sure to please you as I promenade.
It's good clean fun for you and me. Just call The Naked Maid.
When all is clean and dried ,I gave it my best shot.
The body of my work has left him pleased; Yet hot.
For now until my ship comes in I really wouldn't trade
The satisfaction that I get to be a naked maid.
But! Just to add a coda. That when I reach my quota.
I don't care an iota for the gift of cleanliness.
I hope you won't think less.
Unless I can undress, To show off and impress.
I fail to obsess.
The irony I guess is
My place is a mess.!
What a dump!
Last Update: February, 24th 2014