Guido?s Mother Time to come out of your bath,
Wrap you up in a mother?s love,
Take a towel and dry your little head.
Guido?s Mother & Aunts Time to come out in the air,
Sleepy pup in your mother?s arms,
Plant a kiss on your lips and put you to bed.
Happy birthday to you.
So much to do!
Time to start out on your own,
Open up to a brand new world,
Time to leave early dreams and live them instead.
Guido?s Mother & One Aunt Nine, Guido!
Guido?s Mother Nine months of the year to make you appear.
Guido?s Mother & Aunts Ninth in a family of nine,
One AuntNinth grandchild,
Guido?s Mother Ninth son
Guido?s Mother & Aunts Ninth ... But number one.
Time to come out of your egg,
Crack it open and show your face.
As Guido has moved into the lap of Luisa, the AUNTS have
wrapped Little Guido and placed him into the lap of MAMA.
Don?t conceal what you feel, let it shine:
That you?d like to be always nine.
Blackout. Lights up on Carla
Carla Guido, this is just not my idea of a successful
relationship! Four days I?ve been here now, and you
haven?t come to see me once. I thought you loved me.
Guido (half asleep in Luisa?s lap) I do. I do!
Carla Well, obviously not enough. I think I?m going to
Guido (suddenly awake) No! No! I?ll be right over!
(rising) Luisa, darling, listen, I?m going out for a
while. Clear my head. Maybe some ideas will ?
Luisa Bring her some clothes.
Guido Bring who some clothes?
Luisa Carla. Isn?t that who called you before?
Guido Carla? ... No! Whatever gave you such an idea? I
told you, that?s all over with ... Anyway, why would I
want to bring her some clothes?
Luisa So when you?re seen with her, she won?t look so ...
Guido You think she looks ?tacky??
Luisa But perhaps that?s what you like.
Guido Now wait a second!
Luisa Look, I think you?d better hurry. Maybe this time
she really will kill herself.
Guido What are you talking about?
Luisa Guido, I don?t think you?ve been to see her since we
got here. Which means she must be due for another
Guido You really think she?s here.
Luisa Well maybe I?m wrong.
Guido Yes, very wrong! You do me a terrible disservice! I
can?t believe this lack of trust! I?m really staggered!
If you?ll excuse me, I?m going out! (MUSIC. A samba
beat, as Guido runs to Carla?s embrace.)
Carla I just love the clothes you brought me!
Guido Ohhh, I?m so relieved! I hope it will make up for my
not having been here.
Carla No, I don?t think so.
Guido Carla. Carlissima!
Carla No, get away. Don?t touch me, don?t try to make up
with me. I?m very upset with you.
Guido But darling! Angel of fire, light of my loins! Don?t
you think I?d have been here if I could have?
Carla What did she do? Have you followed?
Guido This is not Luisa?s fault! I?ve been working on a
film. If I don?t come up with an idea for it by
tomorrow, guess what my producer has sworn she/he will
do to me? (He whispers to her. She stares at his groin
aghast.) So, you see, in a way I am working here for
both of us. (She laughs, falls on him as they wrestle
to the floor.) Now why don?t you go and try on what
I?ve brought? Maybe it?ll give me an idea for a film ?
who knows? ? stranger things have happened. I?m very
desperate. Hurry, I don?t. have much time. Tomorrow
rapidly approaches. Please! (A church bell rings.)
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa from another part of the stage)
Luisa darling. There?s something I?ve been meaning to
Carla (crawling away from Guido) You still haven?t asked
me about my news.
Guido?s Mother (continuing to Luisa) But how do you put up
Guido (to Carla) What news?
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa) Not that Guido isn?t wonderful!
Carla (still crawling away) The news I came to Venice to
tell you about!
Guido What news is that?
Luisa (to Guido?s Mother) Guido?s in a lot of trouble.
Carla (seeing that Guido?s mind is elsewhere) I?ll tell
you later -when you?re more interested.
A church bell rings. Guido, kneeling, clasps his hands in
prayer. Carla leaves as a Nunpasses in the background,
followed by four Boys, Little Guido among them. The Women
begin humming a Gregorian Chant.
Carla (from Offstage, ecstatically) Oh, Guido! Whatever
made you think of getting me this? It?s very sexy! I?ve
never worn anything like this in my life! I think you
could be excommunicated for getting me a thing like
Guido I?m glad you like it. (The Nun onstage begins to
walk through the double scene, unnoticed.)
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa) I left Guido?s father once, you
know. Hardest thing I ever did. Worst year of my life.
Not something I would recommend.
Carla I just wish I could wear this out in public!
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa) But sometimes you have no choice.
(The Nun passes Guido )
Guido Actually, I was thinking you could wear it when
you?re out with me. (The Nun smacks Guido?s head.)
Carla (still offstage) Guido, you?re a genius!
Guido Thank you.
Carla With me in this, we can be seen anywhere together!
Guido I know. What a couple!
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa) Afterwards we got back together,
it was better ... I think. (The Nun walking through the
scene has discarded her habit, revealing herself as
Sarraghina, a voluptuous whore.)
Carla (entering in a nun?s habit) Hail Carla, full of
Guido (looking at Carla with awe and lust) Oh my God! (In
the background, ONE of the Four Boys returns to seek a
hole in the fence. It is Little Guido )
Guido?s Mother (to Luisa) By the way, in case you?re
curious: I know where Guido?s problems began.
Guido (as Carla walks before him, nunlike) Yes ... yes.
Guido?s Mother Maybe if I hadn?t sent him to that parochial
Guido Come on! Let?s go to the beach to see Sarraghina!
(The OTHER Boys run to Little Guido-?Sarraghina!? ?Sh!?
They begin crawling through the hole in the fence.)
Guido?s Mother But how was I to know? We were hoping he
would be a priest, you see. (Both Carla and Sarraghina
are walking before Guido)
Guido Now stop. (Carla and Sarraghina obey.) Turn around.
(They both obey.) Lower your head. (Carla lowers her
head as Sarraghina raises hers.) Modesty. Shyness.
Innocence. Yes, that?s it!
Guido?s Mother But the school was near this beach.
(Sarraghina mimes sprinkling sand.)
Guido There is something I would like you to tell me.
Carla & Sarraghina. (together) What is that, my son?
Guido Tell me about love! (The Four Boys start crawling
through the scene)
Sarraghina So, you little Italian devils, you want to know
about love? Sarraghina, she will tell you!
Carla My news is that Luigi has agreed to give me a
divorce! Oh, Guido! That means all you have to do is
get your divorce, and then we?re free to marry! Luigi?s
lawyer is sending me a letter that will make everything
official! Well, what do you think?
Guido (paying attention only to Sarraghina) I think this
is how God meant life to be! (Carla exits the scene
joyfully, thinking Guido is approving of her news.
Guido, in another world, smiles, crawls like the Boys
to watch Sarraghina) Last Update: January, 27th 2014