The Hole Lyrics
Eddie PerfectThe Hole
[BETELGEUSE]Death
It's fair to say that you're obsessed with it
Do I walk towards the light?
Are there Angels dressed in white?
Do I sleep on fluffy clouds?
Will I learn what life's about?
Oh, Jesus Christ
Give it a rest!
You bang on about it endlessly
From religion to philosophy
It's really doing in my head
Yeah, Yeah
You wanna know what happens when you die?
I hate to be the fly in your ointment
But get ready for disappointment
[ENSEMBLE]
Hole
Hole
[BETELGEUSE]
A hole
At the end of your life there's a hole
Nothin' too unusual
It's not too small it's not too big
It opens up and you go in
And then it closes
And that's that
Y'know, your standard kind of hole
When you die there's a hole
It isn't heaven, isn't hell
There's really not much else to tell you
So there's one thing that I know
Ev'rybody goes in the hole
[SPOKEN]
Yeah, ev'rybody
It's true
[ALL]
The hole
Ev'rybody goes in the hole
You think you're special and unique
I deal with thousands ev'ry week
Nobody has any control
[BETELGEUSE (ENSEMBLE)]
(We simply march into the hole)
Arrivederci (Everybody goes to the hole)
Sayonara, off you go
[BETELGEUSE]
I don't know why they need a guide
You see a hole, you go inside
But it's my job to say
Hole
Hole
Hole
Death has always been a total mystery
From the start of human history
Any time a person dies
We feel the urge to tell some lies
We shake our fists up at the sky
And so okay, you made some shit up and you wrote it down
Oh boy, religion really went to town
[SPOKEN]
Y'know I'm actually impressed
[SUNG]
You wanna know what happens in the end?
I'll tell you all, my friends
Since you're inquiring the truth is uninspiring
[ALL]
The hole
Ev'rybody goes in the hole
[BETELGEUSE]
No one rolls out the welcome mat
There is no "Day of Judgment" crap
No Angels singing or shit like that
And no one gets to see their cat!
[ALL]
Just drag your ass into the hole!
Forget the crap they taught you 'bout a soul
[BETELGEUSE]
Your body's six feet underneath
Whatever's left comes down to me
And then it's just a case of
Hole
Hole
Hole
Oh the hole
Nothin' here to make a fella lull
No confessin' of the sins
I don't do nothin' to convince
Oh, one time I spoke to Prince
I think I pointed and said "hole"
Man it takes a toll
I need a simple schmuck I can control
If I can stop them going in, I get to live and that's a win
I think I'm due for some parole
[BETELGEUSE (ENSEMBLE)]
God I need a break from the hole (The hole)
Gotta get away from the hole (The hole)
Oh god, for goodness sakes, it's a hole (The hole)
Ev'rybody goes in the hole (Hole, hole, hole)
Song Overview

A sardonic curtain-raiser that did not survive to opening night, this 2015 cut opener lays out Beetlejuice’s worldview with a wink: death is logistics, not poetry. The number functions like a thesis draft for the show’s later, higher-voltage intro, sketching the rules, the stakes, and the demon’s gripe in one patter-driven blast.
Review and Highlights

Quick summary
- 2015 attempt at an opening number for the Broadway adaptation - cut in development.
- Reframed Beetlejuice as emcee-oracle explaining the afterlife in blunt comic terms.
- Later issued on the digital compilation "Beetlejuice - The Demos! The Demos! The Demos!"
- Accompanied by track commentary from the composer that traces why openers kept changing.
Creation History
Across workshops the team tested several openers, including this track, before settling on "The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing." "The Hole" survived as a polished demo and as part of the official commentary series. The Demos set arrived digitally for Halloween 2020 via Ghostlight, packaging 24 pieces from 2014-2019 with the composer at the mic and, in many cases, a brief preface about what worked and what did not.
Song Meaning and Annotations

Plot
Beetlejuice breaks the fourth wall to outline the afterlife like a bored civil servant. At the "end of your life," there is a hole. He points, you go. No choirs, no judgment day, no cat reunion - just throughput. Midway, he slips his true motive: if he can stop someone from going in, he might grab a shot at life. The number sets up rules, tone, and character want in a single comic riff.
Song Meaning
The joke is a strategy. By flattening mysticism into paperwork, Beetlejuice claims authority and lowers the stakes - which makes it easier to manipulate the living. The lyric’s anti-myth stance also frames the musical’s larger tug-of-war between spectacle and sincerity. Strip the sparkle and you get process. Add a human in pain and suddenly the rules wobble.
Annotations
"You wanna know what happens when you die? ... get ready for disappointment"
Classic bait-and-switch patter that telegraphs the show’s taste for undercutting sentiment with a punchline. It’s a tonal sketch for the opener the production eventually used.
"At the end of your life there’s a hole"
A comic reduction that does triple duty: world-building, rule-teaching, and a catchphrase the character can weaponize later.
"Oh, one time I spoke to Prince - I think I pointed and said 'hole'"
Pop-culture aside as character paint. The line keeps Beetlejuice irreverent and untrustworthy - a host who cannot help but yank the rug.

Genre and instrumentation
Broadway show-tune engine with patter-song DNA: tight rhyme chains, talk-sung setup lines, and a band groove that leaves room for fast text. Drums and rhythm guitars keep it driving while brass hits punch the joke buttons. The emotional arc stays antic - a grin that hides agenda.
Cultural touchpoints
The direct-address opener evokes a lineage from vaudeville emcees to modern narrators who set rules up front. According to Playbill and TheaterMania coverage around the demos release, this track sat alongside other would-be openers - a reminder that first numbers are high-wire acts in musicals. As stated in Rolling Stone’s 2019 piece on the show’s trims, Act One had to be tightened, which helps explain why experiments like this gave way to a louder door-kick.
Key Facts
- Artist: Eddie Perfect
- Featured: Solo lead as Beetlejuice narrator
- Composer: Eddie Perfect
- Producer: Eddie Perfect
- Release Date: October 30, 2020 (digital demos compilation)
- Genre: Musical theatre - patter-driven opener
- Instruments: Rhythm section with guitars, kit, brass hits, keys
- Label: Ghostlight Records
- Mood: Irreverent, brisk, conspiratorial
- Length: 4:07
- Track #: Appears within a 24-track demos set
- Language: English
- Album: Beetlejuice - The Demos! The Demos! The Demos!
- Music style: Spoken-sung patter with rock backbeat
- Poetic meter: Mixed - rapid rhymed patter over 4-beat bars
Canonical Entities & Relations
People
Eddie Perfect - writes and performs the demo. Alex Brightman - later originated Beetlejuice on Broadway. Scott Brown - co-book writer. Anthony King - co-book writer.
Organizations
Ghostlight Records - released the demos compilation. Warner Bros. Theatre Ventures - lead producer of the Broadway musical.
Works
Beetlejuice - The Demos! The Demos! The Demos! - digital album containing the track. Beetlejuice (musical) - Broadway production that ultimately opened with "The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing."
Venues/Locations
Winter Garden Theatre - original Broadway home of the production in 2019.
Questions and Answers
- Where would this number have appeared?
- As the show’s very first song, with Beetlejuice stepping out to brief the audience on death’s "rules."
- Why did it get cut?
- Openers were reworked for energy, clarity, and tone. The team kept pushing until a punchier intro emerged.
- How is it different from the opener the show used?
- This track is a thesis-in-monologue. The produced opener adds velocity, audience call-outs, and bigger stomp.
- Does the lyric reveal Beetlejuice’s motive?
- Yes - he admits that keeping someone from the hole could let him live. The con is already underway.
- Is the track officially released?
- Yes. It’s on the 2020 demos compilation, with official audio and a companion commentary video.
- What does it sound like on paper?
- Tight patter, quick rhymes, and short set-ups that beg for crisp diction and comic timing.
- Tempo and key?
- Streaming databases list it around the low-70s BPM in A major - a midtempo lope built for patter.
- Any fun easter eggs?
- A quick Prince name-check - a swaggering aside that keeps the character unserious even while he explains cosmic rules.
Additional Info
The demos rollout included track-by-track commentary on YouTube and Spotify. Industry notes at the time underlined that the set compiled final songs alongside outtakes - including three separate opening-number attempts. The album also hit major DSPs with standard track pages and timings. According to NME-style industry recaps, these sorts of archival releases often become mini-canon for fans, mapping how a score found its eventual shape.
Sources: Playbill, Ghostlight Records, TheaterMania, Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube - Beetlejuice The Musical, Rolling Stone, American Songwriter, Musicstax, Tunebat.