Creepy Old Guy lyrics
Creepy Old Guy
[LYDIA:]
Way back when
I was just ten
Simple and sweet
Everywhere
Fellas would stare
Out on the street
And I felt used
Kinda confused
I would refuse to look in their eyes
But now I really love creepy old guys!
[ALL:]
We all do!
[BARBARA:]
Gum disease
[DELIA:]
Skin like grilled cheese
[LYDIA:]
Saggy old asses!
[DELIA:]
Saggy old asses!
[LYDIA:]
It's cute and vile-
[DELIA & BARBARA:]
"Hey baby, smile!"
[LYDIA:]
To each girl that passes!
[DELIA wolf-whistling]
[LYDIA:]
They make me blush!
[BARBARA:]
Can't get enough!
[LYDIA:]
Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine!
[BARBARA AND DELIA:]
That's right!
[LYDIA:]
Marrying my own creepy old guy!
[BETELGEUSE:]
I'm a creepy old guy!
[LYDIA:]
My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy
I'm so happy I could cry!
[BARBARA & DELIA:]
Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy!
[LYDIA:]
My creepy old groom!
[BARBARA:]
Creepy old groom!
[BARBARA & LYDIA:]
Play that wedding tune
[LYDIA:]
Hey folks, step aside!
[BETELGEUSE:]
I am older, but I'm glad I waited!
[LYDIA:]
'Cuz here comes the bride!
I am marrying my creepy old guy
[THE OTHERS:]
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy
[LYDIA:]
My creepy old guy!
[THE OTHERS:]
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!
[LYDIA:]
Fix his hair
Get him prepared
For Armageddon
[BARBARA:]
Sure, the groom
Crawled out of a tomb-
[DELIA:]
But hey, hey, it's a wedding!
[LYDIA:]
So dim the lights
Pick up some rice
Say something nice!
It's my day to shine
I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy!
[BETELGEUSE:]
It's showtime!
[BARBARA & DELIA:]
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy
She's marrying a creepy old guy!
[CHARLES:]
Have you guys seen "Lolita"?
This is just like that, but fine!
[THE OTHERS:]
Creepy old dude, creepy old dude
Our faith has been renewed
Now love is alive!
[LYDIA:]
Wave your baby girl goodbye
I am walking down the aisle
I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by
I know that on the outside he's disgusting
And even on the inside, he's disgusting
But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right
[THE OTHERS:]
Making it right, making it right!
[LYDIA:]
With my family by my side
[BETELGEUSE:]
(Oh, this is fun
I don't usually dance but oh well
A dance break on an album!
Amazing!)
O-M-G
Dressed to a "T"
Fancy and formal
I found me a wife
L'chaim! To life!
This is so normal!
I was ignored
But now, I'm adored!
'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied
Give it up for my underage bride!
[THE OTHERS:]
Here comes the bride
Here comes the bride
God be glorified!
[ALL (INCLUDING BETELGEUSE AND LYDIA):]
I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright
[LYDIA:]
My creepy old guy
My creepy old guy
Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?
[BETELGEUSE:]
Oh yeah, that's right!
[THE OTHERS:]
Yeah, that's right!
[LYDIA:]
Let's make him alive!
I am marrying my creepy old guy!
[THE OTHERS:]
Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy!
[BETELGEUSE:]
I have chills!
[ALL:]
Yeah! Last Update: July, 18th 2022