Words, Words, Words Lyrics > Gutenberg! The Musical!

[DOUG, spoken]
Act II, Scene 1
An old timey bar called The Rusty German
The roof is made of?dirty?thatch
The floor is?covered in peanut shells

[BUD, spoken]
Gutenberg sits at?the bar
He is drunk!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I am drunk
I have been drinking wine and mead
And now my face is numb!
Hey, Drunk!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Gah!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I can’t learn ‘til you wait to read

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Do what?

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
You’re so cute and so dumb

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Bah!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
And you smell like a piece of horse

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Hey, Gutenberg’s drunk!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I am drunk!
For the last time!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Oh no!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
That’s right, drunk!
After tonight, old Gutenberg’s not drinkin’ wine anymore!
I’m drinkin’ words!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Ya can’t drink words!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Not so fast there, drunk!
(singing)

Words...
Can take on any form or shape

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Bah ha! You’ve gone insane!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
No!

(singing)

Words...
Are like wine from a better grape

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Huh?

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
The grape of your brain!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Oh!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
Words taste so sweet
[BUD (as Drunk #2)]
With ice, they’re just neat!

[BOTH (as Johan Gutenberg and Drunk #2)]
Nothing can compete

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I’m gonna get drunk off of words
I’m gonna come home late
I’m gonna stink of words

[BOTH (as Johan Gutenberg and Drunk #2)]
Wine is awfully fine
But really, wine is just a word
Words, words, words

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I’m gonna go get a drink!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
See ya!

[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
Hey, what’s happenin’?

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Aye, Gutenberg is talkin’ about gettin’ drunk...
Off of words!

[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
That sounds stupid!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
It’s not!
Words make ya feel all tingly inside!

[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
But that’s what alcohol does!

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
Yes, but words do it without that cripplin’ chemical addiction!

[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
That’s the part I don’t like!

[BUD (as Drunk #2)]
Well then pull up a seat

[DOUG (as Drunk #1)]
This is a treat

[BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)]
Guess we should repeat

We’re gonna get drunk off of words

[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
I’m gonna start a fight!

[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
I’m gonna vomit words!

[BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)]
Wine is awfully fine
But really, wine is just a word
Words, words, words

[BUD, spoken]
Helvetica enters

(as Helvetica)

Gutenberg

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
What?

[BUD (as Helvetica)]
I’ve got to say...

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Hey!

[BUD (as Helvetica)]
Can I get a second chance?

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I dunno what you’re talkin’ about

[BUD (as Helvetica)]
I’ve done something really awful!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
Come on Helvetica
Let’s dance!

[BUD, spoken]
Gutenberg holds Helvetica close

(as Helvetica)

Hello
I... I don’t understand

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Wine can make you do... crazy things
You’re fired!

[BUD (as Helvetica), spoken]
What?

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I’m firing you as my grape stomper
But I wanna hire you... as my wife!

[BUD (as Helvetica), spoken]
Oh Gutenberg, I...
I can’t!
I’ve done something awful!

[DOUG, spoken]
Helvetica leaves the bar in a tizzy

(as Johan Gutenberg)

Where are you going?
Where are you going?!

[BUD, spoken]
Dance break!

[DOUG, spoken]
The entire cast rushes onstage
And Gutenberg is sucked into the madness

[BUD, spoken]
Some do wild leaps in the air!

[DOUG, spoken]
Some do flips!

[BUD, spoken]
Some do somersaults!

[DOUG, spoken]
Some do handstands!

[BUD, spoken]
Some chicken fight in the corner!

[DOUG, spoken]
While the old black narrator soars above it all!
The entire cast joins hands
To form a chorus line!

[BOTH (as All)]
We’re gonna get drunk off of words
Someone else should drive
Because we’re drunk off words
Wine is awfully fine
But really, wine is just a word
Words!
Words!
Words!
Last Update: October, 02nd 2023