I Can’t Read Lyrics > Gutenberg! The Musical!

[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
You know... I couldn’t make it without you
The wine, I mean

[BUD (as Helvetica), spoken]
Oh... yes, sir
Thank you, sir
Wonderful?sir
(singing)
I?watch him working?at his press
I watch him make?his wine
I stomp the grapes and dream
About the day I’ll?make?him?mine
But I know?that day will?never come
Cause I am too obtuse
I’m too dumb to understand anything but this grape juice

And I...
I can’t read
I can’t read him
He’s all Greek to me
I... I... I... I...
I still need him
Like a grape that needs a squeeze

His brain is bigger than my brain
He can spell and count by twos
He’s so smart and good at stuff
And all I have is boobs
Cause I was raised to milk a cow
And sit upon a stool
And cows, they never ask you much
No wonder I’m a fool
There’s no school

And I...
I am dumb
I am dumbstruck
Every time he says my name
Helvetica Gumishtifel
Helvetica Gumishtifel

Gumishtifel
It’s been my name since birth
But there’s one name I’d trade it for
On this flat planet Earth
So I’ll stay here in my bucket
And one day I’ll be...
Helvetica Gutenberg
Just you wait and see

I...
I’ll be here
I’ll be hearing church bells
Church Bells for us
Us...
Us or we?
Be together
Whichever; us or we
Us or we
Us or we
Us or we
Us... or we
Last Update: October, 02nd 2023