Jeff Sums It Up lyrics
Jeff Sums It Up
JEFF SLATER:
Not long ago, there was a man
An angry guy, awkwardly aging [?]
A self-destructive whining his way
Through life 'till ambition
In circumstance
Conspired to deliver an opportunity
No one except a megalomaniacal actor
With nothing to really lose would consider
So then, of course, this guy puts
Oh, yeah, this guy is you, in case you were wondering
Puts on a dress, a wig, heels and actually gets the part
And surprisingly, everything goes very well
But then, and how do I say it, you fucked it up
You really fucked it up
You got applause, you got the fame
Except it wasn't exactly for you
And now you're in love with a girl
Who thinks you're somebody that you're not
And in case you forgot, I'll tell you who you really are
You're the guy who fucked it up
You really fucked it up
Listen, Mike, I know when Mr. Opportunity
Comes tip-toeing and teasing
You're the kind of man who grabs him by the balls
But then when he screams and says
Let go of my balls!
You just keep on squeezing
Well, that's the time you gotta...
I lost my train of thought
Hmm... But anyway, you get the point
You screwed the pouch! Epic Fail!
I hate to say I'm happy to say I told you so
But it makes me so happy
I told you so!
I told you so!
I told you so!
You fucked it up
You really fucked it up
JEFF: (spoken)
You went tits-up
MICHAEL:
I went tits-up
JEFF:
Mistakes were made
MICHAEL:
Mistakes were made
JEFF:
You bit the dirt
MICHAEL:
I bit the dirt
JEFF:
Insane in the membrane
MICHAEL:
Good song
JEFF:
A major malfunction
MICHAEL:
I really blew it
JEFF:
[?]
MICHAEL:
[?]
JEFF:
You messed it up
MICHAEL:
I did
JEFF & MICHAEL:
The wheels came off your bumper car (The wheels came off my bumper car)
[?]
...
[?]
MICHAEL: (spoken)
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
JEFF:
Jazz square, Jazz hands
MICHAEL: (spoken)
Shhhhh
DOROTHY: (spoken)
Hello? Hi!
Oh! Oh yes, great!
Thank you!
MICHAEL: (spoken)
Jeff!
The cast are going over to hear Julie sing and they invited Dorothy.
Now Julie has been avoiding me since I kissed her.
But she also confines in Dorothy what she wants from a guy.
Right?
So if I can meet Julie as Michael
I can use those things to get her to fall for me.
And then fix things between her and Dorothy
JEFF:
Good luck to you!
God bless you Mike
I really really wish you the best
I'll tell you what I'm coming along
For moral support
Because I'm a friend
But mostly because I'm curious
To see exactly how you'll fuck it up
Last Update: July, 05th 2020