My Rules/Elliott Garfield Grant lyrics
My Rules/Elliott Garfield Grant
Don't speak
I need your attention, I'm not gonna say this twice
I'm your landlord and this piece of paper says
You've gotta treat me nice,
Lady, I'm the one with the rulebook
Who'll say what you can do and can't
Cause you're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
God love em
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
Push me
And you will discover
That you're gonna be exiled
You're the guest of my private foundation
You and your poster child
I'm the one who's giving the orders
A not-too-commandant
Ten-hut
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
Look at the gutter and know
There but for the grace of Elliot
Outside it's seven below
You're here, you're warm, you're dry
And I'm the reason why
What a guy
Henceforth we're doing it my way
And there will be no disputes
Think of me as a permanent fixture
I'm planning to set down roots
From now on I'm part of the landscape
A tough indigenous plant
Sunshine
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
No applause, please
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
My rules, my sweet
Your choice is to submit or hit the streets
I like to shower every morning
And I don't like your panties wringing wet on the rod
And if you have to leave your razor on the sink
You run the risk I'll turn into Sweeney Todd
As I'm a crazy kind of guy
Who can't predict when nature calls
Or hunger seizes me
I'll use this honey of a bathroom and the
Goddam kitchen
Anytime it pleases me
I hate an over-heated habitat
As grab a quilt and leave the thermostat to me
I always sleep completely naked, buffo
Window open winter, spring through fall
So if you care to spare your daughter
A reluctant introduction to anatomy
I'd bolt my door at night
And keep that precious kid of yours
From wandering the hall
You have a chip on your shoulder the size
Of the Empire State
Call your charm school and ask for a refund
While I hyperventilate
Get a booster shot for distemper
Then try not to rave and to rant
Lambchop, you're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
Mister nice guy
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
Don't thank me
You're living on an Elliot Garfield
An Elliot Garfield grant
Last Update: June, 10th 2013