Samovar the Lawyer Lyrics
Samovar the Lawyer
Groucho, Harper, Chico, you?re a scream
What a team
Simply insane
When merry Marxes at their bouncy best
Wrecking Russia just like men possessed
Why, it's enough to make the East move West
Come see "A Night in the Ukraine"!
Lights, camera, action!
Ah, you know that music goes straight to my heart
It does?
Yes, and it?s not doing my stomach any good, either
By the way, what do you call yourself?
I'm not calling myself
I'm always someplace near
No, no, you don?t understand
You see, in my own futile way
I?m just trying to find out your name
Oh! My name! Shishicarlo Wichenvandelovelenovadamocherella
Ah, how do you spell that?
Wrong, every time!
Hey boss, what's-a your name?
My name is Serge B. Samovar
My father called me Serge
What he really wanted was a new blue suit
Hey, ask me what I do for a living
Okay, what do you do for a living?
Funny you should ask
I?m Russia's leading legal brain
I?m wise to all the loopholes
And very modestly I maintain
I haven't any scruples
Let?s not forget my father
A lawyer too was he
In fact, he shouted "I object!"
The first time he saw me
I'm Samovar the boar of the bar
The most obnoxious lawyer
I'll press your lawsuit while you wait
And scorch it to annoy you
I?m a sue-er who knows how to sue
You slander me, and that?s my cue
I'll litigate all over you
I?m Samovar the lawyer
Hello, lawyer
Hello, lawyer
Hello, lawyer
Hello, lawyer
Lawyer Samovar! Hey!
My well-known lack of legal skill
Has everyone in awe
I've broken many a woman?s will
It's more fun than the law
The first case I defended
A poor old Muscovite
Got fourteen years for forging checks
And he couldn?t even write!
Oh, but I haven't introduced myself!
I'm Samovar the Lawyer
I once addressed the court for days
In Springfield, Illinois-ah
On a minor point I wouldn?t budge
I turned the jury?s brains to fudge
They freed the crook and hanged the judge
Don't hire me, I?ll destroy ya!
So three hurrahs for Samovar
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Now, there sits a man with an open mind
You can feel the draft from here
I'm Samovar
I?m the Lawyer!
Last Update: January, 30th 2025