Poor Unfortunate Souls Lyrics
Poor Unfortunate Souls
[URSULA, spoken]My dear, sweet child--it's what I live for: to help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.
Poor souls with no one else to turn to. . .
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes.
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed
(Pathetic!)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them
Yes I do!
Now, it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
[URSULA, spoken]
Here's my best offer, babykins. I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days. Now, it's got a procedural clause, sort of a "squid pro quo." Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get dear ol' princey to kiss you. If you do, you'll stay human forever.
[ARIEL, spoken]
And if I don't?
[URSULA, spoken]
Nothing drastic, darling, I'm sure. . . Oh, look--small print: "Your soul is mine forever, and you're doomed to spend eternity in my watery, hell-soaked lair." Lawyers! Don't you just love 'em? Of course, there is one more thing. . . my fee.
[ARIEL, spoken]
But I don't have anything!
[URSULA, spoken]
I'm not askin' for much, Only. . . your voice.
[ARIEL, spoken]
My voice? But if I give away my voice, how can I ever--
[URSULA]
You'll have your looks. . . your pretty face. . . and don't underestimate the power of body language!
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman
And I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
Go ahead and sign the scroll!
Flotsam, Jetsam--now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
You poor unfortunate soul!
Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea. . .
Larynxes, glaucitis, ad max laryngitis, la voce to me!
Now, sing! Sing your voice over to me!
[ARIEL]
Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah...
[URSULA]
Sing and keep singing!
[ARIEL]
. . .ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah....
[URSULA]
Now swim, swim, swim! Swim for your life, human child!
Ha ha ha. . .
Song Overview
Every classic musical needs a villain’s show-stopper, and Alan Menken & Howard Ashman served one dripping with inky flair. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” steals the pearl necklace and the spotlight on the The Little Mermaid (Original Broadway Cast Recording). Sherie Rene Scott’s Ursula sashays through smoky blues chords while Sierra Boggess’s Ariel listens, wide-eyed, at the edge of doom. It’s equal parts carnival bark and contract law—an evil anthem so catchy you almost sign on the dotted line yourself.
Song Credits
- Featured Performers: Sherie Rene Scott (Ursula), Sierra Boggess (Ariel)
- Composers: Alan Menken & Howard Ashman
- Lyricist: Howard Ashman
- Orchestrations: Doug Besterman & Danny Troob
- Arrangements / Conductor: Michael Kosarin
- Album: The Little Mermaid (Original Broadway Cast Recording) — Track 15
- Release Date: February 26, 2008
- Genre: Broadway / Disney Pop-Theatre
- Length: 5 minutes 17 seconds
- Label: Walt Disney Records
- Mood: Seductive, sardonic, darkly comedic
- Instruments: Pipe-organ synth, muted brass, walking bass, kit drums, vibes, timpani rolls, chorus of wriggling eels (vocally, at least)
- Copyright © 1989, renewed 2017 Walt Disney Music Company
Song Meaning and Annotations
Bargain songs are Broadway catnip—think Mephistopheles set to swing. Ursula positions herself as seafloor philanthropist: “They come flocking to my cauldron.” The joke, of course, is the fine print. Ashman’s text—yes, we’ll call it song text, not mere lyrics—wraps legalese in vaudeville rhymes (“squid pro quo”) while Menken’s score slips from minor-key shuffle to mock-gospel glory. The dramatic tension? Ariel’s silent dream colliding with Ursula’s hungry ambition.
Vocally, Scott rides the lower register with a wink, sliding into blues scoops the way an octopus slides through a keyhole. Boggess answers with pure, crystalline “Ah-ah-ah” phrases—her hope literally being siphoned away. The orchestration fattened for Broadway adds percussion pops and brass stabs, making each contract clause sound like a gavel slam.
Opening Verse
“I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty”
A disarming confession sets the grifter tone. Menken places it over chromatic bass steps, suggesting moral slippage beneath Ursula’s flattering grin.
Refrain
“Poor unfortunate souls / In pain, in need”
The hook turns the suffering of others into a carnival chant. Note the sudden jump to a major-key belt on “Yes, indeed!”—false warmth before the trap snaps shut.
Body-Language Bridge
“The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber”
Here the score flirts with burlesque: muted trumpets wah-wah alongside sly woodwinds. Ashman skewers patriarchal expectations while Ursula brandishes them like bait.
Incantation Climax
“Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea!”
Disney Latin meets Slavic caviar brands, proving nonsense syllables can sound like ominous Latin if you roll the R’s just right.
Similar Songs
- “Be Prepared” – Jeremy Irons & Ensemble, The Lion King (1994)
Both Disney villain showcases weave military percussion and slithering melodies. Scar’s Nazi-esque hyena chorus lines parallel Ursula’s eel-lit lair—charisma weaponized against trusting relatives. - “When You’re Good to Mama” – Queen Latifah, Chicago (2002 film)
Matron Mama’s quid-pro-quo echoes Ursula’s “bridge toll.” Jazz-age brass cushions sly transactional lyrics, proving corruption can fizz like champagne. - “Hellfire” – Tony Jay, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
Frollo’s confessional uses Latin choir where Ursula uses ’40s swing, but both numbers externalize villain psychology and make the audience uneasy over how seductive menace can sound.
Questions and Answers
- How does the Broadway arrangement differ from the 1989 film version?
- Extra measures, beefier brass punches, and a longer incantation section give Ursula more room to preen—and Ariel more time to second-guess.
- Why place the number in Act I?
- Structurally it launches the plot’s ticking clock and lets audiences marinate in dread during intermission, a tried-and-true musical-theatre hook.
- What vocal range does Ursula demand?
- A flexible mezzo belt descending to a smoky F3 and climbing to a triumphant D5—plus the hammy spoken patter of a carnival host.
- Is the “body language” lyric feminist or antifeminist?
- Both, in glorious contradiction. Ursula mocks sexist clichés even as she wields them; the satire lands when audiences recognize the absurdity.
- Has the song crossed into pop culture beyond theatre?
- Yes—drag performances, TikTok lip-sync battles, and a Melissa McCarthy film rendition (2023) keep the anthem in regular internet rotation.
Awards and Chart Positions
- The Little Mermaid Broadway cast album reached No. 26 on the Billboard 200 (2008)
- Nominated for Best Musical Show Album at the 51st Annual Grammy Awards (2009)
Fan and Media Reactions
“Sherie Rene Scott takes Disney camp and turns it into cabaret gold.” —Theatre Weekly review, 2008
“That ‘Beluga, sevruga’ line lives rent-free in my brain—menacing yet delicious.” —YouTube commenter @DeepSeaDivas
“My six-year-old calls this the ‘yes indeed!’ song and cackles in the back seat—should I worry?” —Parent tweet, 2022
“Broadway bass clarinet never sounded so wickedly smooth.” —Pit-orchestra blogger
“Ursula is basically the ocean’s HR rep—sign here, waive your rights.” —TikTok theatre meme, 2024