Is That Remarkable? lyrics
Is That Remarkable?
REPORTERS
Get me New York City!
Hello, Chicago?
Could you put me through to Bowling Green?
You ready for the lowdown,
The real straight poop?
Here comes the mother loade scoop.
Get me Butte, Montana!
Hello, Savannah?
Could you put me through to Abilene?
You ready for the info?
'Cause she's a pip!
I'm mighty glad I made the trip!
Cave City, comma, capital "K", capital "Y", February four:
"Cave Man Underground!"
REPORTER 3
You got it?
REPORTERS 1 & 2
Yeah.
ALL THREE
"Caveman Underground,
Imprisoned By Rock."
REPORTER 3
Somewhere in the cold hills of Kentucky, comma,
a caver named Floyd Collins lies pinned in a sandy cave by a boulder on his foot, period.
REPORTERS 1 & 2
"Cave Man Trapped Inside A Boulder."
REPORTERS 1 & 3
"Kentuckian Caught Alone;
Coffin Of Stone."
REPORTER 2
The Kentuckian is trapped for no one knows how long under a two ton slab of granite, period.
REPORTER 1
The brave man lies in a coffin of stone, comman, trapped under nearly...
REPORTERS 2 & 3
"Buried While Still Alive."
ALL THREE
"Seven Tons Of Rock!"
Is that remarkable?
LOCALS
That's remarkable!
REPORTERS
Is that remarkable enough?
LOCALS
Most amazing thing I ever saw!
REPORTERS
Is it incredible?
LOCALS
Whoa!
REPORTERS
I wonder what tomorrow will bring!
I want the Walla Walla Bugle!
The Paducah Tribune!
Is this the Mexicali Telegram?
You ready for the lowdown,
The real straight poop?
Here comes the mother-lode scoop!
I want the Alamogordo Banner!
The Boise Gazette!
Get me the Bumblebee in Birmingham!
You read for the goods?
'Cause she's ready to pop!
This is going over the top!
Cave City, comma, capital "K",
capital "Y".
February five!
"Cave Victim Losing Hope."
REPORTER 3
According to Skeets Miller,
MILLER
Huh?
REPORTER 3
comma, Collins is quickly slipping into a state of deep despair.
REPORTERS 1 & 2
"Cave Victim Crying Out,
Asking For... Milk."
REPORTER 2
The trapped man was heard to cry out, comma, quotes,
"Get me out of here, comma, even if you have to tear my foot off!" exclamation, close quotes.
REPORTERS 1 & 3
"Crying Out In Deep Despair
To Tear His Foot Off!"
REPORTER 1
Floyd is reported to be in a state of delirium,
conversing with cave crickets and even begging them...
REPORTERS 2 & 3
"Losing Hope And Crying Out
In Deep Despair
ALL THREE
To Hurry Hurry."
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
"PULL ME OUT!"
Remarkable?
MILLER
Wait...
REPORTERS
Is that remarkable enough?
MILLER
If you report what you see...
REPORTERS
Is it incredible?
MILLER
Whoa!
REPORTERS & LOCALS
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
REPORTERS
Gimme the Lackawanna Pulpit!
Pierre Picayune?
Is this the Tallahassee Democrat?
Sharpen that woody, 'cause here's the dope,
chock full of tragedy and hope!
I'd like the Ponca City Sun!
The Saginaw Globe!
Put me through the Escanaba Finch!
Grab a feather and double dip;
This bird is ready to rip!
"Collins Family Waits And Prays."
Cave City, comma, capital "K," capital "Y." February Six!
"Nellie, Jane, Old Man Collins,
Sitting On Log."
REPORTERS 1 & 3
"The picture of the weathered fam'ly is touching."
REPORTER 2
The picture of the old weathered farmer and his bent backwoods wife is a touching one, period.
REPORTERS 2 & 3
"A virginal and colorful example of the life."
REPORTER 1
The virginal sister is a colorful example of the folkways and eccentricities of the hillbilly life, period.
ALL THREE
"Remarkably enough," comma,
"although they live such simple lives,"
comma, "the Collins family manages to own a car and even wear shoes."
BISHOP
I'm freezin'.
REPORTERS
What?
He's free!
MILLER
What the...
REPORTERS
Floyd Collins is free!
DOYLE
Hogwash!
BISHOP
Amazing!
JEWELL
Balderdash!
REPORTERS
He's free!
FAMILY
Hooey!
MILLER
But I was just with him
and he's
REPORTERS & LOCALS
Not free!
REPORTERS
"Skeets Miller-- Celebrity Hack!"
REPORTERS & LOCALS
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
REPORTERS
Go on, ya' know you're yella!
Now listen fella.
This ain't no literary magazine!
I only want the goodies,
the mother lode scoop!
I only want to scoop,
I only want to scoop,
I only want to scoop the poop.
Ooo.
Scoop the poop!
Scoop the poop!
Last Update: June, 10th 2013