Patterns in my life that I trace every day,
Patterns as I say the things I always say,
Patterns in the ceiling as I lie awake,
Why are patterns haunting every move I make?
Just look, here I am on cue, again.
Upset, feeling torn in two, again.
Afraid, saying I'm okay,
Making little jokes,
'Til I run away, again.
And yet today, I am not the same,
I feel my life slipping from its fame
Strange feelings rise, feelings with no name,
And I can't face them, so I shake them hard,
Fold them up,
And tuck them safely away,
Patterns that begin as I walk through a door,
Patterns in the curtains, and the kitchen floor,
Patterns in the day's routine I must arrange,
Patterns in the ways I try, but never change.
Just look, as I'm thrown a curve, again.
I leap, then I lose my nerve again.
In tears, running home I go,
Secretly relieved, safe with what I know,
And yet I know, I am not the same.
Inside my heart, there's something I can't tame.
I feel my mind, bursting into flames,
And I must change or else I'll break apart,
Or break away.
Or end up having to start,
Patterns in the day I seem to use to give my life a shape,
Patterns in the house that give me comfort when I need escape,
Patterns that leave me, nowhere
At all. Last Update: June, 23rd 2014