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The Internet Is For Porn Lyrics — Avenue Q

The Internet Is For Porn Lyrics

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KATE
The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I?ve got a fast connection so i don?t have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day and night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like i?m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?

TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee?kkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good

I?m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For por?oops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you?ve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!


Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That?s gross you?re a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don?t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I masturbate!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That?s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I?m leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!
HTML

Song Overview

In Avenue Q, "The Internet Is For Porn" is the musical's loudest comic detour and one of its best-known satirical numbers. On paper, the setup is simple - Kate Monster wants to teach children about the educational promise of the web, and Trekkie Monster barges in with a much dirtier theory. Onstage, though, the scene is doing more than firing off a dirty joke. It is mocking adult hypocrisy, digital innocence, and the speed with which a useful tool becomes a punchline. The song is brisk, shameless, and built like a runaway argument. That speed is its secret. Before anyone can pretend to be above the joke, the whole neighborhood is already singing along.

The Internet Is For Porn lyrics by Avenue Q
Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Rick Lyon, and the Avenue Q Ensemble perform 'The Internet Is For Porn' lyrics in the music video.

Review and Highlights

This is the song that helped turn Avenue Q from a clever Broadway upstart into a repeat-laugh title with real pop-culture reach. It is rude, yes, but the joke would not have lasted if that were all it had. The number works because it takes a huge cultural shift - the early-2000s normalization of life online - and reduces it to one blunt, ridiculous thesis. Trekkie Monster sounds absurd. Then the ensemble piles in, and suddenly the absurdity starts sounding like a warped folk wisdom for the dial-up era.

The writing also understands timing. Music Theatre International's full synopsis places the song right after Kate decides to teach her class about the Internet's educational value, only for Trekkie Monster and the men around him to hijack the lesson. That placement matters. The song is not random filth dropped from the ceiling. It is a collision between idealism and appetite, between public virtue and private habit. According to Playbill's cast-album coverage, it landed at track 6 on the original Broadway cast recording - exactly where the show is ready to stop winking and kick the door in.

Key Takeaways:

  • The song turns early web culture into a broad comic slogan.
  • Its satire targets adult hypocrisy as much as online porn itself.
  • The ensemble structure makes the joke feel communal, not isolated.
  • It became one of the score's signature numbers because the premise is crude and instantly memorable.
Scene from The Internet Is For Porn by Avenue Q
'The Internet Is For Porn' in the official audio video.

Avenue Q (2003) - ensemble comic scene song - presentational inside a neighborhood argument. It appears in Act I after "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" and before "Mix Tape," when Kate's plan to teach about the Internet gets steamrolled by Trekkie Monster's louder thesis. On the original Broadway cast recording, it is track 6 and runs 2:59. Why it matters: it is the score's purest burst of bad-manners satire, and it captures the musical's habit of turning uncomfortable truths into singable slogans.

Creation History

Avenue Q moved to Broadway in July 2003 after its Off-Broadway run, with music and lyrics by Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx and a book by Jeff Whitty. Playbill's October 7, 2003 cast-recording article lists "The Internet Is For Porn" as track 6 on the original Broadway cast album, and Spotify and Masterworks Broadway list the runtime at 2:59. The number was already important enough to the show's identity that later coverage kept using it as shorthand for the musical's style. By 2006, Playbill was joking that the show wanted to disprove its own lyric in a fan-video promotion campaign, and by 2011 the school edition had replaced it with "My Social Life Is Online." That tells the story by itself. The song was too central to ignore and too explicit to leave untouched for younger productions.

Lyricist Analysis

The lyric writing is stripped to the bone. That is why it hits. The title phrase is a slogan, almost a chant, and the verses are built to serve it rather than compete with it. Lopez and Marx do not lace this song with fancy internal rhyme or lyrical embroidery. They go for speed, repetition, and escalation. One voice says the impossible thing out loud, then the rest of the cast treats it like settled fact.

Meter is speech-rhythm first, hook second. The refrain lands with strong percussive stress, which makes it easy to remember and easy for an ensemble to hammer home. Musicnotes lists the published arrangement in E-flat major with a quite fast marking at quarter note 180 and a multi-voice layout, which fits the song's machine-gun comic pace. The trick is that the language stays plain while the implication grows bigger and sillier. That contrast keeps the song from turning muddy. It sounds direct because directness is funnier here than cleverness.

Song Meaning and Annotations

Avenue Q performing The Internet Is For Porn
Video moments that reveal the song's meaning.

Plot

Kate Monster is preparing to teach children about the Internet and its educational uses. Trekkie Monster barges in and insists that the web's real purpose is pornography. The men in the neighborhood back him up, and the conversation turns into a full comic number built on the gap between what people say technology is for and what they often use it for. By the end, Kate is horrified, Trekkie is triumphant, and the audience has learned plenty about the adults on this block.

Song Meaning

The song is about hypocrisy dressed as common knowledge. Its claim is obviously exaggerated, but the exaggeration is the point. In the early 2000s, the Internet was still widely marketed as a gleaming educational frontier, while everyday users were already turning it into a messier, more revealing place. The number turns that contradiction into a joke big enough for the whole room. It is not a thesis on technology. It is a satirical snapshot of adult behavior - desire, denial, and the speed with which people normalize both.

Annotations

The internet is really, really great

The opening sounds almost innocent, like a children's lesson or a cheerful PSA. That soft entry is important because it gives the joke room to swerve.

For porn

The line lands because of its abruptness. There is no long setup, no careful hedge. The song replaces a whole cultural debate with two blunt syllables and trusts the shock of the shortcut.

I have a fast connection and so do you

This kind of detail grounds the joke in its era. The humor is not just sexual. It is technological, tied to the bragging language of early home Internet culture.

Stylistically, the song blends Broadway ensemble writing with novelty-song mechanics - strong hook, repetition, fast payoff. Culturally, it became one of the most quoted Avenue Q numbers because it matched the moment so neatly. Wired, in 2006, joked that the Internet might actually be for videos of "The Internet Is For Porn," pointing to the flood of fan-made versions online. That is a funny footnote and a sharp one. The number was satirizing the web while the web was busy proving how sticky the joke could be.

Lyrical Themes

The main themes are hypocrisy, digital desire, adult double standards, and the way a joke can reveal social habits faster than a sermon ever could.

Production and Instrumentation

The published arrangement is for multiple voices with piano and guitar, while MTI's show materials place the song inside the full small-pit Broadway setup used across Avenue Q. The pace is fast, the ensemble entries are tight, and the whole thing thrives on forward motion rather than lush texture.

Idioms, Symbols, and Tone

The Internet becomes less a technology than a symbol for what people pretend not to want. The tone stays shameless, jaunty, and dead certain. That certainty is the whole joke. Nobody in the song is acting like this is a theory. They are acting like it is weather.

Shot of The Internet Is For Porn by Avenue Q
Short scene from the video.

Technical Information (Quick Facts)

  • Song: The Internet Is For Porn
  • Artist: Stephanie D'Abruzzo; Rick Lyon; Avenue Q Ensemble
  • Featured: Kate Monster; Trekkie Monster; Princeton; Brian; Gary Coleman; Rod
  • Composer: Robert Lopez; Jeff Marx
  • Producer: Jay David Saks
  • Release Date: October 7, 2003
  • Genre: Show tune; musical theatre ensemble; comedy
  • Instruments: Voice 1; Voice 2; Voice 3; Voice 4; Voice 5; piano; guitar; pit-orchestra accompaniment
  • Label: Victor
  • Mood: cheeky; fast; provocative
  • Length: 2:59
  • Track #: 6
  • Language: English
  • Album: Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
  • Music style: Broadway novelty-satire ensemble number
  • Poetic meter: speech-rhythm with chant-driven refrain

Frequently Asked Questions

Who sings "The Internet Is For Porn" in the show?
Trekkie Monster drives the number, with Kate Monster and several male neighbors joining in as the scene expands.
Where does the song appear in Avenue Q?
It appears in Act I, after "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" and before "Mix Tape," when Kate's educational plan for the Internet gets hijacked.
What is the song about?
It is about online hypocrisy and adult behavior, using a ridiculous overstatement to mock what many people privately do while publicly pretending otherwise.
Is the song literally saying the Internet has only one use?
No. The joke depends on exaggeration. The song turns one widespread use of the web into a deliberately oversized slogan.
Why did the song become so widely known?
Because the hook is blunt, the premise is instantly clear, and it arrived at exactly the moment when mainstream life was moving online fast.
Who wrote it?
Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx wrote the music and lyrics as part of the Avenue Q score, with Jeff Whitty writing the book.
Did it chart as a stand-alone song?
No reliable source surfaced a separate chart history for the individual track.
Was it changed for school productions?
Yes. When MTI launched the school edition in 2011, the song was replaced with "My Social Life Is Online."
Was it ever performed on television?
Yes. BroadwayWorld reported that the cast performed it on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in August 2009, describing it as the first national television performance of the number.
Why does it still get referenced?
Because it compresses an entire era of Internet culture into one shameless punchline, and the punchline is still easy to remember.

Awards and Chart Positions

No reliable source surfaced a stand-alone chart run or song-specific award for "The Internet Is For Porn." The official recognition belongs to the musical and its cast recording.

ItemRecognitionDetails
Avenue Q2004 Tony AwardsWon Best Musical, Best Book, and Best Original Score
Avenue Q cast recording47th Grammy AwardsNominated for Best Musical Show Album
Original Broadway cast recordingRelease milestonePlaybill's 2003 track listing places this number at track 6 with the core first-act songs

Additional Info

  • Playbill's 2006 fan-video story made a joke out of the song's slogan by noting that the show wanted to prove the Internet was not just for porn after all.
  • Wired, in 2006, wrote that the web seemed full of fan-made versions of "The Internet Is For Porn," which says a lot about how quickly the number escaped the stage and became online folklore.
  • Musicnotes lists the published arrangement in E-flat major with a multi-voice scoring and a fast metronome mark of quarter note 180.
  • When the school edition launched in 2011, Playbill reported that this number became "My Social Life Is Online," one of the clearest examples of how the show was adapted for younger performers.
  • BroadwayWorld's 2009 report on the Jimmy Fallon appearance shows how long the number remained a go-to promotional weapon for the show.

Key Contributors

EntityTypeRelationship
Robert LopezPersonco-wrote music and lyrics for "The Internet Is For Porn"
Jeff MarxPersonco-wrote music and lyrics for "The Internet Is For Porn"
Jeff WhittyPersonwrote the book for Avenue Q
Jay David SaksPersonproduced the original Broadway cast recording
Rick LyonPersonperformed Trekkie Monster on the original Broadway cast recording
Stephanie D'AbruzzoPersonperformed Kate Monster on the original Broadway cast recording
Trekkie MonsterCharacterpushes the song's central claim and comic momentum
Kate MonsterCharacterframes the educational setup that the song overturns

How to Sing The Internet Is For Porn

This number is not about polish. It is about pace, diction, ensemble nerve, and comic control. Musicnotes lists the published arrangement in E-flat major with a range from B-flat 3 to A-flat 5 and a very fast marking at quarter note 180. So the challenge is obvious: stay clean while sounding gloriously out of pocket.

  1. Start with spoken rhythm. Read the lyric like a scene before adding pitch. The jokes have to land as thoughts.
  2. Set the fast pulse early. Rehearse under tempo first, then work up toward the printed speed.
  3. Use sharp diction. This song needs clear consonants or the text turns into mush fast.
  4. Differentiate characters. Trekkie's certainty, Kate's protest, and the men's cheerleading all need distinct color.
  5. Keep the tone light. Pushing too hard makes the song feel heavy. It should move like a bad idea with great confidence.
  6. Coordinate ensemble entrances. The laughs depend on fast agreement and clean cutoffs.
  7. Protect the upper range. With the published top at A-flat 5, use forward placement and easy breath, not force.
  8. Play the truth of the scene. The humor works best when everyone sounds fully convinced in the moment.

Practice materials: E-flat major piano-vocal sheet music, metronome work, spoken-text drills, and ensemble rehearsals focused on cutoffs and timing are the best starting tools.

Sources

Data verified via Playbill cast-recording coverage and school-edition coverage, Music Theatre International song list and full synopsis, Masterworks Broadway and Spotify track data, Musicnotes arrangement details, and reporting from Wired and BroadwayWorld on the song's later media life and television performance.

Music video


Avenue Q Lyrics: Song List

  1. Act 1
  2. The Avenue Q Theme
  3. What Do You Do with a B.A. in English?
  4. It Sucks To Be Me
  5. If You Were Gay
  6. Purpose
  7. Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
  8. The Internet Is For Porn
  9. Mix Tape
  10. I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today
  11. Special
  12. You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want
  13. Fantasies Come True
  14. My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada
  15. There's a Fine, Fine Line
  16. Act 2
  17. There Is Life Outside Your Apartment
  18. The More You Ruv Someone
  19. Schadenfreude
  20. I Wish I Could Go Back to College
  21. The Money Song
  22. School for Monsters/The Money Song (Reprise)
  23. There's A Fine, Fine Line (Reprise)
  24. What Do You Do With A B.A. In English? (Reprise)
  25. For Now
  26. Tear It Up And Throw It Away

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