Ladies and Gentlemen, A Toast!/How I Saved Roosevelt lyrics
Ladies and Gentlemen, A Toast!/How I Saved Roosevelt
That was President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt,
ladies and gentlemen, speaking to a crowd
of supporters here in Miami's beautiful Bayfront Park.
A group of notables are pressing in around
the President-elect's car.
There's Mayor Anton Cermak of Chicago, and-
There's been a shot! I can't see-wait!
Mr. Roosevelt is waving! He's all right!
But Mayor Cermak has been hit!
The police have somebody in custody. An immigrant.
We take you now to a group of eyewitnesses
who will tell us what they saw!
We're crowded up close,
And I see this guy,
He's squeezing by,
I catch his eye,
I say to him, "Where do you
Think you are trying to go, boy?
I say, "Listen, you runt,
You're not pulling that stunt,
No gentleman pushes his way to the front."
I say, "Move to the back!", which he does
with a grunt-
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!
Well, I'm in my seat,
I get up to clap,
I feel this tap,
I turn-this sap,
He says he can't see,
I say, "Find a lap
And go sit on it!"
Which is how I saved-
He started to swear
And he climbed on a chair,
He was aiming a gun-I was standing right there-
So I pushed it as hard as I could in the air,
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!
Lucky I was there-
That's why he was standing back so far-!
That's why when he aimed, He missed the car-!
Just lucky I was there,
Or we'd have been left
Bereft of F.D.R.!
You think that I scare?
You think that I care?
I look at the world-
No good. No fair. Nowhere.
When I am boy,
I work in a ditch,
The smart and the rich
Don't give no glance.
Ever since then, because of them,
I have the sickness in the stomach,
Which is the way I make my idea
To go out and kill Roosevelt.
First I was figure I kill Hoover,
I get even for the Stomach.
Only Hoover up in Washington.
Is wintertime in washington,
Too cold for the stomach in Washington-
I go down to Miami Kill Roosevelt.
Men with the money,
they control everything.
No make no difference.
You think I care who I kill?
I no care who I kill,
Long as it's King!
[BYSTANDER #4 (MAN)]
The crowd's breaking up
And I hear these shots,
And I mean lots-
[BYSTANDER #5 (HIS WIFE)]
I thought I'd plotz-
I spotted hi-
My stomach was tied in knots-
So I barrelled-
No, happened was this:
He was blowong a kiss-
She means Roosevelt-
I was saying to Harold, "This weather is bliss!"
When you think that we might have missed seeing
Lucky we were there!
It was a historical event-!
Worth every penny that we spent!
Just lucky we were there!
To think, if I let him get up closer-!
I saw right awat he was insane_
Oh, this is my husband, we're from Maine-
He told me to sit, but I said, "No, Sir!"
This makes our vacation a real success!
Are you with the press?
Oh God, I'm a mess...
Some left wing foreigner, that's my guess-
You think I am left?
No left, no right,
Zangara have nothing,
No luck, no girl,
Zangara no smart, no school,
But Zangara no foreign tool,
And why there no photographers?
For Zangara no photographers!
Only capitalists get photographers!
I was there!
I'm on the front page-
Is that bizarre?
And all of those pictures,
Like a star!
And soon no
Just lucky I was there!
We might have been left
Bereft of F.
R. Last Update: June, 10th 2013