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Garc,on, S'il Vous Plai't / Illegitimate Daughter / We'll Impeach Him Who Cares? (Reprise) Lyrics > Of Thee I Sing

Garc,on, S'il Vous Plai't / Illegitimate Daughter / We'll Impeach Him Who Cares? (Reprise) Lyrics

GAR?ON, S'IL VOUS PLA?T
[MARTIAL OUTBURST. SIX FRENCH SOLDIERS MARCH ON]

FRENCH SOLDIERS:
Gar?on, s'il vous pla?t,
Encore Chevrolet coup?;
Papah, pooh, pooh, pooh!
Gar?on, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Tra la, Maurice Chevalier!
J'adore cr?pes Suzette
Et aussi Lafayette!
[THEY MARCH, REPEAT THIS, COME TO ATTENTION]
And now we give the meaning of this song:
We're six of the fifty million and we can't be wrong!
We're six of the fifty million and we can't be wrong!

ENTRANCE OF FRENCH AMBASSADOR

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
I am the Ambassador of France,
And I've come here to see
A grievous wrong righted.
My country is deeply hurt.
Not since the days of Louis the Seventh,
The Eighth, the Ninth, the Tenth,
And possibly the Eleventh,
Has such a thing happened.

ENSEMBLE
What's troubling you?

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
You have done a great injustice
To a French descendent-
A lovely girl
Whose rights have been trampled in the dust.

ENSEMBLE:
Who is she? What's her name?

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
Her name is Diana Devereaux.

ENSEMBLE:
Diana Devereaux! Diana Devereaux!
Since when is she of French descent?

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
I've been looking up her family tree
And I have found a most important pedigree!

THE ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTER

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
She's the illegitimate daughter
Of an illegitimate son
Of an illegitimate nephew
Of Napol?on.

ENSEMBLE:
Napol?on?

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
She offers aristocracy
To this bizarre democracy,
Where naught is sacred but the old simoleon!
I must know why
You crucify
My native country
With this effront'ry
To the illegitimate daughter
Of an illegitimate son
Of an illegitimate nephew
Of Napol?on.

ENSEMBLE:
To the illegitimate daughter
Of an illegitimate son
Of an illegitimate nephew
Of Napol?on.

[ENSEMBLE TURNS ON WINTERGREEN]
ENSEMBLE:
You so-and-so!
We didn't know
She had a tie-up
So very high up!
She's the illegitimate daughter
Of an illegitimate son
Of an illegitimate nephew
Of Napol?on.

DIANA:
Ah!
I was the most beautiful blossom
In all the Southland.

MARY AND WINTERGREEN:
We know all that.

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
You know all that,
But you don't know the misery
Of this poor little girl who has suffered.
Because...

ENSEMBLE:
Because...

MARY AND WINTERGREEN:
Because?

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
Because...

BECAUSE, BECAUSE (REPRISE)

DIANA:
Because, because, because, because,
I won the competition
But I got no recognition
And because he broke my heart!

Because, because, because, because,
The man who ought to love me
Tried to make a money of me,
Double-crossing from the start!
I might have been First Lady,
But now my past is shady.
Oh, pity this poor maidie!

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
And there's the man who ought to pay!

ENSEMBLE:
Because, because, because, because,
She won the prize for beauty,
But she didn't do his duty;
He has broken my heart!

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
[TO WINTERGREEN]
You see this poor girl has suffered.
And so, on behalf of France,
I demand that your marriage be annulled
And that you marry Diana.

WINTERGREEN:
Never, never!

FRENCH AMBASSADOR:
Then you will arouse the anger of France,
And you must be prepared to face the consequences!

[SOLDIERS LINE UP WITH AMBASSADOR AND DIANA.
THEY MARCH OFF, SINGING]

FRENCH SOLDIERS:
Gar?on, s'il vous pla?t,
Encore Chevrolet coup?;
Papah, pooh, pooh, pooh!
? vous tout dir vay ? vous?

FULTON:
Jack, you've got to do something about this.

WINTERGREEN:
Leave Mary? Never!

FULTON:
We are all in this together;
We are birdies of a feather.
And if you don't change your thesis
Then our party goes to pieces!

LYONS:
All our jobs you'll be destroying
With your attitude annoying.

GILHOOLEY:
You will get us all in trouble!
And in spades, sir, which is double!

WINTERGREEN:
I will never leave Mary!

LYONS:
Since he's acting so contrary,
Send him off on a vacation.

GILHOOLEY:
I suggest resignation.

WINTERGREEN:
Resignation?

ENSEMBLE:
Resignation?

FULTON:
You've got to face it - This is a crisis!
To leave your Mary you may decline;
But to save us, my good advice is:
You resign!

ENSEMBLE:
Yes, you resign!

WINTERGREEN:
I assure you - though it's a crisis!
To leave your Mary I may decline;
And I don't care what your advice is;
I decline to resign!

MARY:
We decline to resign!

WE'LL IMPEACH HIM

[TO EACH OTHER]

LYONS AND GILHOOLEY:
He is stubborn - we must teach him;
I'm afraid we must impeach him!

ENSEMBLE:
He is stubborn - we must teach him;
He has forced us to impeach him!

COMMITTEE:
You decline to resign.
So we'll teach you!
We'll impeach you!

SECRETARIES:
You decline to resign-
We don't envy you at all!

COMMITTEE:
You decline to resign.
So we'll teach you!
We'll impeach you!
You decline to resign-
Humpty Dumpty has to fall!

[THEY EXIT]

WHO CARES? (REPRISE)


MARY:
Who cares
If the sky cares to fall in the sea?

WINTERGREEN:
We two together can win out*
Just remember to stick you chin out.

[*EARLIER VERSION OF THIS AND NEXT LINE:
Who cares if Congress is crummy?
They can never take my love from me!]

MARY:
Why should I care?
Life is one long jubilee-

BOTH:
So long as I care for you-
And You care for me!
Last Update: June, 24th 2013

Of Thee I Sing Lyrics

  1. Act 1
  2. Wintergreen for President
  3. Who Is the Lucky Girl to Be?
  4. Dimple on My Knee
  5. Because, Because
  6. As the Chairman of the Committee / How Beautiful / Never Was There a Girl So Fair / Some Girls Can Bake a Pie
  7. Love Is Sweeping the Country
  8. Of Thee I Sing
  9. Here's a Kiss for Cinderella
  10. I Was the Most Beautiful Blossom
  11. Some Girls Can Bake a Pie (Reprise)
  12. Act 2
  13. Hello, Good Morning
  14. Who Cares?
  15. Garc,on, S'il Vous Plai't / Illegitimate Daughter / We'll Impeach Him Who Cares? (Reprise)
  16. The (Senatorial) Roll Call
  17. Jilted
  18. Who Could Ask for Anything More?
  19. Posterity Is Just Around the Corner
  20. Trumpeter Blow Your Horn / Finale

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