Backstage Scene lyrics

- Jerry Springer: the Opera

Backstage Scene lyrics

Backstage Scene

[JERRY (spoken)]
What the fuck is that idiot Warm Up Man doing out there?
He's turning my people into a mob! You're right, Steve, he's got to go.

[WARM UP MAN]
Hey, Jerry,
What can I say man? Tough crowd!

[JERRY (spoken)]
Nice to see you, Jonathan.

[WARM UP MAN]
Sorry if I let those assholes get a little too loud,

[JERRY (spoken)]
Those assholes are my audience.

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, don't bullshit me,
You and me both, we know,
They are scum!
Filthy cocksucking scum!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And your job is to control those scum and keep them from upstaging my guests.

[WARM UP MAN]
Pimps and perverts,
Teenage whores,
People so fat they get stuck in revolving doors!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And we get them through those doors and onto a plane to Chicago.

[JERRY'S INNER VALKYRIE]
Sluts and faggots,
Gimps eating maggots.

[JERRY (spoken)]
We've never had a maggot eating gimp on this show!

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, you could do anything.

[JERRY (spoken)]
What are you talking about?

[WARM UP MAN]
You could run for Senate!
Or even president!

[JERRY (spoken)]
If I want my dick sucked, I'll call my agent.

[WARM UP MAN]
Looks like you're cruising,
Playing it safe.

[JERRY (spoken)]
You're way out of line, pal.

[WARM UP MAN]
You need a challenge,
And I've got just the thing,
Gonna make you sweat,
When you're in the ring.

[JERRY (spoken)]
Jonathan, let's cut this short: you need help. Help and a new job.

[WARM UP MAN]
NO! You-

[JERRY (spoken)]
So thanks for this little chat. Oh, and good luck in the warm-up industry!

[WARM UP GUY]
Ooooooh! Sorry, faggots, if I'm out of line!
Sorry if I'm taking too much of your time!
Mr. Fucking Bigshot, sun shines out his ass!
Take your job and shove it; it's been such a blast!

[JERRY (spoken)]
...Well, that's the last we'll see of him.

[WARM UP GUY]
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!
I'm so lonely...

[JERRY (spoken)]
That went well.

[JERRY (spoken, to audience)]
You know, when I was a younger man, I was passionate about civil rights, education, the anti-war movement. I was even elected to the City Council. Then one day, I, uh- I went to a prostitute, and I payed her with a check.

Next day, it was all over, but I faced up to it. And later, i was elected mayor of Cincinnati. Now that's the third largest city- ah, in Ohio. There's only 2 thigns you need to know about politics.
1: You'll never get anywhere if you don't speak up for what you know to be the truth.
And 2: some things should always be paid for in cash.

[JERRY (spoken)]
My cards, where are my cards?
Last Update: February, 10th 2016


Backstage Scene
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Musical: Jerry Springer: the Opera. Song: Backstage Scene. Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes