Finale Lyrics > How to Dance in Ohio

[DREW, spoken]
Esteemed guests: thank you all so much for attending the Second Chance Dance!
[sung] We all made a list a while ago about what makes the perfect king or queen:
They are honest, they are humble, they are socially courageous
They have been through hard times

[CAROLINE, spoken]
Like being sent to the guillotine!

[DREW, spoken]
Thank you, Caroline
[sung] Except that list we made describes each person who's here
You all show courage every day that you live
And also, like Mel said, a king and a queen is... [spoken] uh, what was the word, Mel?

[MEL, spoken]
Heteronormative!

[DREW, spoken]
But, one of us was emphatically nominated by a friend because they recently gave that friend a big second chance. So, our Inter-Dimensional Second Chance Superhero is... Jessica Sullivan!

[JESSICA, sung]
Thank you all so much for this honor!
I am totally floored!
Tommy — can we finally dance now?

[TOMMY, spoken]
Yes!

[JESSICA, sung]
Caroline, hold my sword!

[ASHLEY, spoken]
Five, six, seven, eight!

[GROUP, sung]
Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la, la, la, la la
Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la, la, la, la la

Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la, la, la, la la
Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la, la, la, la...

[DREW, spoken]
Hi, Marideth. Would you like to dance with me?

[MARIDETH, spoken]
Yes
[sung] The formal is a pastime, outdated and pointless
That, for some reason, still happens
It used to be a social function geared at helping young women wed
So how was I to know it would turn out to be — factually —
The best night of my life instead?

[DREW]
One-two-three-four-five-six...
Last Update: February, 01st 2024