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The Whole "Being Dead" Thing Lyrics Beetlejuice

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing Lyrics

Beetlejuice and Ensemble
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[BETELGEUSE, sung:]
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
'Scuse me! Sorry to barge in
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole
Y'know
Being dead thing

You're doomed! Enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
I'll kill you myself
The whole being dead thing!

Death can get a person stressed
"We should have carpe'd way more diems
Now we're never gonna see 'em!"
I can show you what comes next
So don't be freaked
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!
So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
And take a breath!

[ENSEMBLE:]
Welcome to a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE:]
You're...
You're gonna be fine...
On the other side...

DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

I'll...
I'll be your guide...
To the other side...

[ENSEMBLE:]
Oh, and full disclosure: It's a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE:]
Everybody gets on fine here
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
The women's bathroom has no line here
Just...
Pee where you want!
The whole being dead thing!
You're just gonna love the folks here
Yes, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here!
And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here

The whole-
[*heavy sniffing*]
PAH-HAH! The whole being dead thing!

Nobody is bullet-proof!
"I work out, I eat clean!"
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Time to face the brutal truth:
'Cause we're all on a hitlist
Might not live 'till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that's just statistics
So take a little break here
Kinda like a wake here
The scenery is fake here
But there's a giant snake here!

[ENSEMBLE:]
Welcome to a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE:]
You're...
You're gonna be fine...
THANK YOU!
On the other side...
HOW YOU DOIN'?
Not good!
Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!

I'll...
I'll be your guide!
To the other side!
Seriously, though, this is a show about-

[ENSEMBLE:]
Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
There's nothing medical professionals could do
'Cept maybe just bill you

[BETELGEUSE, spoken:]
If you die while listening to this album
It's still gonna keep playing

[ENSEMBLE:]
There's no destiny or fate
Just a terrifying wait
Filled with people that you hate
And on a certain date, the universe kills you!

[BETELGEUSE:]
That's the thing with life:
No-one makes it out alive!
Toss that body in the pit
"Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?"
"Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic."
When you're dead, who gives a shit?
No pilates, no more yoga!
"Namaste", you freakin' posers

From the cradle to cremation
Death just needs a little conversation!
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!)
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!)

So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)
On the whole being dead thing!

[ALL:]
God, I hope you're ready for a show about death!

Song Overview

The Whole Being Dead Thing lyrics by Alex Brightman and the Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast
Alex Brightman leads the opening salvo - a curtain-raiser that says the quiet part out loud.

First impressions count. In this opener, Brightman’s chaos host rips the room open with vaudeville patter, stand-up timing, and horror-comic swagger. The number explains the rules, breaks the fourth wall, and bullies the audience into having fun with a topic most shows avoid. It sets the house style in seconds: meta, mischievous, and loud.

Review and Highlights

Scene from The Whole Being Dead Thing with Alex Brightman
Opening volley - welcome to a show about death.

Quick summary

  1. Opening number from the 2019 Broadway score by Eddie Perfect, fronted by Alex Brightman.
  2. Frames the story as a gleeful conversation with the crowd - full of warnings, rules, and running gags.
  3. Appears early on broadcast showcases with lyric tweaks for TV events.
  4. Recorded for the cast album released digitally in June 2019, with physical editions later that year.
  5. Functions as a thesis: mortality meets comedy, with a side of showbiz razzle.

Arrangement wise, it shifts gears like a trickster - ukulele chuckle to metal riff to brassy show groove. The band hits sudden dynamic cliffs so the punchlines land. You can hear the pit wink at film-score tropes, then snap back to Broadway bite. Brightman rides the mic like a stand-up emcee: crowd control first, tune second.

Creation History

The song was built to let the lead talk directly to the house and to license constant line swaps. Onstage, the opening address even name-checks the venue when needed, then folds into patter about phones, ticket prices, and the truth that no one gets out alive. For broadcast spots, the team trims the spicier bits and swaps in event-specific jokes, all without breaking the momentum.

Song Meaning and Annotations

Alex Brightman performing The Whole Being Dead Thing
Video moments that reveal the playbook: fourth wall, hard truths, bigger laughs.

Plot

The funeral has barely begun when our host barges in and reframes the night. He promises to guide us to the other side, sells the afterlife like a theme park, and warns us that the décor is fake but the snake is real. The result: a contract with the audience - we will talk plainly about death and we will have a blast doing it.

Song Meaning

It’s a permission slip. The number invites the crowd to laugh at the thing we avoid, then undercuts every safe cliché. Comedy becomes the coping mechanism, and the emcee becomes the grief counselor you never asked for.

Annotations

“Hey, folks, beggin’ your pardon”

Door kicked in. The address signals that the fourth wall is optional from here on out.

“Excuse me, sorry to barge in”

In the Broadway house this line often morphed into a venue shout - a local welcome baked into the script.

“The sword of Damocles is swinging”

Classical nod with a punchline tail - power sits under a hanging blade. Here, so does the audience.

“And if I hear your cell phone ringing, I’ll kill you myself”

House rules disguised as a threat. Every usher in town thanks them.

“I do this... eight times a week”

Broadway schedule joke - the gag doubles as a flex about stamina.

“Welcome to a show about death”

Thesis line. No metaphor fog, just stage lights on the topic everyone dodges.

“From the cradle to cremation - death just needs a little conversation”

The mission statement: stop treating grief like a secret club. Say it out loud and the room breathes.

Shot of The Whole Being Dead Thing company
Short scene where the band swerves from ukulele grin to heavy crunch.
Style, references, production

Genre blend: stand-up patter meets Broadway brio, with detours into hard rock and mock-ecclesiastical chant. Emotional arc: shock - snark - sobering truth - back to jokes. Touchpoints: the old Dies Irae motif slips through the harmony; film-homage stings peek out like jump-scares. The studio mix keeps the quips forward and the crowd noise tucked - you always hear the barb before the band hits.

Key Facts

  • Artist: Alex Brightman with company; producers Kurt Deutsch, Alex Timbers, Eddie Perfect, Matt Stine.
  • Composer and lyricist: Eddie Perfect.
  • Release Date: June 7, 2019 - digital cast album; physical CD followed October 11, 2019.
  • Genre: Broadway - Pop comedy with rock detours.
  • Instruments: Rock rhythm section, brass, reeds, keys, auxiliary percussion, occasional ukulele gag.
  • Label: Ghostlight Records in partnership with Warner Records.
  • Mood: irreverent, high-velocity, a little ghoulish.
  • Length: about 3:43 on the album.
  • Track #: 2 on the recording.
  • Language: English.
  • Album: Beetlejuice - Original Broadway Cast Recording.
  • Music style: patter song with modular inserts and audience address.
  • Poetic meter: mixed accentual lines; comedy scansion with internal rhyme.

Canonical Entities & Relations

  • Eddie Perfect - wrote music and lyric.
  • Alex Timbers - director whose staging frames the fourth-wall contract.
  • Kurt Deutsch - label producer partner via Ghostlight.
  • Matt Stine - album producer and mixer.
  • Alex Brightman - originates the title role on the recording.
  • Winter Garden Theatre - original Broadway home credited in onstage ad-libs.

Questions and Answers

Is this number the real prologue?
There is a short opener, but this is the first full-scale handshake with the crowd. It teaches you how to watch the show.
Why the constant fourth-wall breaks?
They shrink the distance between audience nerves and the story’s subject. The joke lands, then the truth does not feel so remote.
What is with the sudden style shifts?
It is a toolbox for misdirection. Soft uke sets you up, metal blast knocks you down, then the brass sells the punchline.
How does the line swapping work on TV?
The structure is modular, so they can slot in family-hour jokes or event shout-outs without losing shape.
Does the melody quote any classic death motif?
You will hear Dies Irae colors in the choral tags. It is a sly nod that music nerds clock instantly.
What makes Brightman’s delivery hit?
Stand-up breath control and razor diction. He floats right on top of the band so the gag never muddies.
Is there a non-English version?
Yes - international productions adapt the lyric; in Brazil the opener lands with local slang and title tweaks.

Awards and Chart Positions

Show honors: the Broadway production earned multiple Tony Award nominations in 2019, including Best Musical, Best Original Score, and Best Actor for Alex Brightman; it also won an Outer Critics Circle Award for set design. The cast album’s digital launch in June 2019 drew heavy traffic, later appearing on year-end streaming roundups.

YearBodyCategoryResult
2019Tony AwardsBest Musical, Best Original Score, Best Book, Best Actor, plus design nominationsNominated
2019Outer Critics CircleOutstanding Set DesignWon
2019Streaming metricsHigh year-end tally for cast albumsListed by Playbill roundups

Additional Info

Televised and special versions: the company performed this opener, with lyric tweaks, on the Today Show in May 2019, at the Tony Awards in June 2019, and at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade later that year. The venue shout line often changed in the Broadway run - a running bit that kept the intro feeling local. Internationally, the number traveled with translated punchlines, including a Brazilian staging with a localized title.

Sources: Ghostlight Records; Warner Records press page; Playbill; BroadwayWorld; CBS/Tony Awards coverage; Spotify; AllMusic; TheaterMania; CastAlbums.org; People Magazine; YouTube official channels.

Music video


Beetlejuice Lyrics: Song List

  1. Act 1
  2. Prologue: Invisible
  3. The Whole "Being Dead" Thing
  4. The Whole Being Back Thing
  5. Ready, Set, Not Yet
  6. The Whole "Being Dead" Thing, Pt. 2
  7. The Whole "Being Dead" Thing, Pt. 3
  8. Dead Mom
  9. Fright of Their Lives
  10. Ready Set, Not Yet (reprise)
  11. No Reason
  12. Invisible (Reprise) / On The Roof
  13. Say My Name
  14. Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)
  15. Act 2
  16. Girl Scout
  17. That Beautiful Sound
  18. Barbara 2.0
  19. What I Know Now
  20. Home
  21. Creepy Old Guy
  22. Jump In The Line
  23. Beetlejuice Apocrypha
  24. I Am Very Good At Running Cults
  25. Mama Would
  26. Goodbye Emily Deetz
  27. Running Away
  28. Suicide Note
  29. Children We Didn't Have
  30. Good Old Fashioned Wedding
  31. Dead Bird
  32. Everything is Kinda Meh
  33. Dead Mom (Reprise)
  34. The Whole ‘Being Dead’ Thing Pt. 4
  35. That Beautiful Sound (reprise)
  36. Beetlejuice: The Demos The Demos The Demos
  37. Death’s Not Great
  38. The Hole
  39. Gotta Get Outta This House
  40. Sign Yourself Over to Me
  41. Delia’s TED Talk
  42. You Can Only Work with What You Get
  43. Step Right Up
  44. A Little More of Your Time (Charles)
  45. What’s Left?
  46. The Box
  47. Mixed It Up Together
  48. Ain’t It Strange?

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