Telly Lyrics
(All I Know)Telly
MR WORMWOOD:Somewhere, on a show I heard
That a picture tells a thousand words
So telly if you bothered to take a look
Is the equivalent of like.....lots of books!
All I know I learned from telly
This big beautiful box of facts
If you know a thing already
Baby, you can switch the channel over just like that
Endless joy and endless laughter...
Folks living happily ever after...
All you need to make you wise
Is 23 minutes plus advertisements
Why would we waste our energy?
Turning the pages 1, 2, 3
When we can sit comfortably
On our lovely bumferlies
Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?!
All I know I learned from telly
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly
Just what a clever fella I am!
(spoken)
Take it away, son
(Michael plunks out a few notes on a guitar)
You can't learn that from a stupid book
All I know I learned from telly -
What to think and what to buy
I was pretty smart already
But now I'm really, really smart - very very smart
Endless content, endless channels...
Endless chat on endless panels...
All you need to fill your muffin
Without having to really fink or nothing!
Why would we waste our energy
Trying to work out "Ulysses"
When we can sit happily
On our lovely bapperlies
Watching slightly famous people
Talking to really famous people?
All I know I learned from telly
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly
Just what a clever fella I am!
Who the dickens is Charles Dickens?
Mary Shelley? Cor, she sounds smelly
Harry Potter? What a rotter
Jane Austen? In the compostin'
James Joyce? Doesn't sound noice
Ian McEwan? Ugh, I feel like spewin'
William Shakespeare? Schwilliam Schmakespeare
Moby Dick? Easy Grandma!
All together now!
All I know I learned from telly
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly
Just what a clever fella I am!
Thank you very much!
Song Overview
“Telly” flips the house lights on and lets Mr. Wormwood preach his favorite scripture - television - right at the top of Act II. Written by Tim Minchin for the Matilda the Musical Original Cast, the song is a swaggering comic hymn to screens over books, wired with patter, swing, and throwaway gags that land fast. The track first appeared on the Matilda the Musical (Original London Cast Recording), released September 13, 2011, with production by Tim Minchin and Chris Nightingale.

Personal Review
“Telly” isn’t subtle; it’s surgical. The song title and lyrics team up to roast anti-intellectual bluster through a cheerful grin. In one scene-setting swoop, Mr. Wormwood barges on during the interval and sells television as education, culture, and life coach - all in 23 minutes. It plays like a cabaret turn slipped into a family musical, which is exactly why it works: the joke is the sales pitch.
Key takeaways: the hook line “All I know I learned from telly” repeats like a brand slogan; the groove lopes with a light swing; the comedy is character-first, not cheap shots. One-sentence snapshot: a hustler-dad praises TV over books so loudly that the audience hears the opposite.
Song Meaning and Annotations

The message is a neat bit of theatrical judo: celebrate the screen to champion the page. Mr. Wormwood boasts,
“All I know I learned from telly”and the audience laughs because they’ve spent Act I watching his ignorance. The lyric leans into consumer-speak and panel-show chatter, a satire of British TV culture tinged with 1980s references that make his “endless channels” line ring hollow to anyone who remembers how few there were.
Style and rhythm: this is comic swing with patter flare. Verses start almost off-the-cuff, then lock into an easy half-time strut. In many productions the opening is half-spoken, even free-meter, before the band clicks the groove into place. The arrangement leaves space for asides and a planted guitar gag from Michael. It feels tossed-off, but it’s precision-timed.
Emotional arc: it begins cocky and grows proudly clueless. By the final chorus, Wormwood’s bravado is so big it collapses into itself, punctured by literary name-checks he mangles:
“Who the dickens is Charles Dickens? ... William Shakespeare? Schwilliam Schmakespeare.”The joke isn’t books; it’s swagger without substance.
Context inside the show: the number happens as Act II kicks off, with Mr. Wormwood addressing the audience directly and then sliding into the chorus. That staging choice underlines the theme: TV is passive; theatre is a conversation.
Production and instrumentation: Chris Nightingale’s pit band is compact and flexible - keys, reeds doubling sax and clarinets, guitar, bass, trumpet, cello, and percussion. That palette sells the lounge-sleaze color the lyric needs, especially the sax interjections near the tag.
Historical touchpoints: the anti-book bluster nods back to Roald Dahl’s recurring suspicion of TV (think Mike Teavee) and forward to our own thumbs-scroll era. The show’s West End success and awards clout amplified that bite, but “Telly” stays a small, mean gem - the kind a crowd quotes in the bar at interval.
Stage-to-screen: in the 2022 film adaptation’s official soundtrack, “Telly” is absent; the movie trims and reshuffles numbers and adds a new closer (“Still Holding My Hand”). That omission keeps the show’s meta audience-address on stage where it belongs.
Creation history
The track is on the Original London Cast Recording, released on Roald Dahl Day - September 13, 2011 - recorded at AIR Studios with Minchin and Nightingale producing. Digital release on iTunes followed October 18, 2011.
Verse Highlights

Verse 1
It opens like a bloke chatting over the telly’s blue glow:
“Somewhere on a show I heard that a picture tells a thousand words.”No strict melody at first; it’s patter, then the band tips in with a lounge-y walk. The rhyme “telly/books” sets up the central false equivalence: seeing equals understanding.
Pre-Chorus
“All you need to make you wise is 23 minutes plus advertisements.”A killer line: snack-length wisdom as product. It primes the chorus like a commercial jingle.
Chorus
“All I know I learned from telly - the bigger the telly, the smarter the man!”Wormwood’s logic escalates from silly to self-parody, and the groove drops into lazy half-time so his brag can sprawl.
Bridge
The guitar plunk, the audience baiting, the talk-show name-drops - it’s TV ephemera as ego armor. By the time he lists authors - Dickens, Austen, Joyce - the rhyme jokes land because his rhythm sounds utterly convinced.
Tags: Telly, Matilda the Musical Original Cast, Lyrics, Mr. Wormwood, Tim Minchin, Chris Nightingale, cast recording, West End, satire, television, reading
Key Facts

- Featured: Mr. Wormwood and Michael (stage roles)
- Producer: Tim Minchin; Chris Nightingale
- Composer: Tim Minchin
- Lyricist: Tim Minchin
- Release Date: September 13, 2011
- Genre: Musical; Soundtrack
- Instruments: keyboards, reeds/sax/clarinets, guitar, bass, trumpet, cello, percussion
- Label: RSC Enterprise Ltd (? 2011)
- Mood: cheeky, swaggering, satirical
- Track #: 9 (Original London Cast Recording)
- Language: English
- Album: Matilda the Musical (Original London Cast Recording)
- Music style: comic swing with patter
- Poetic meter: irregular patter verse into half-time chorus
- Recorded at: AIR Studios, London
- Stage placement: opens Act II, with direct address to audience
Songs Exploring Themes of TV vs. Reading
Let’s put “Telly” next to three songs that jab at media, knowledge, or the lure of easy answers.
“Little People” (Les Misérables) aims its slingshot at authority, not TV, but the kinship is the comic mask before a serious point: underestimate me and you’ll lose. Gavroche’s brisk patter has the same bounce Wormwood co-opts, yet where “Telly” inflates ignorance, “Little People” weaponizes savvy. The vocal writing is nimble, text-led, and cheeky; the mood is scrappy pride rather than smirking certainty.
“Popular” (Wicked) sells a different kind of shortcut - makeover wisdom as life lesson. Glinda’s featherweight 6/8 and bright belt sit where Wormwood’s baritone patter lounges. Both songs let the singer teach nonsense with confidence; one teaches cool, the other teaches couch. Meanwhile the harmony sugarcoats the satire so the audience laughs first and thinks second.
“Everybody’s A Little Bit Racist” (Avenue Q) is franker and closer to late-night TV panel banter. The groove is pop-inflected and the lyric is quartets of setup-punchline. Like “Telly,” it uses friendly tones to undercut bad logic. But while Wormwood’s list of authors is a humblebrag gone wrong, this number argues, pokes, then contradicts itself on purpose, pushing the crowd into the argument rather than away from it.
Questions and Answers
- Where does “Telly” sit in the show’s plot?
- It opens Act II with Mr. Wormwood addressing the audience, essentially apologizing for all the reading and praising TV instead.
- Is “Telly” in the 2022 film adaptation or its soundtrack?
- No. The official film soundtrack omits “Telly” and adds a new finale, “Still Holding My Hand.”
- Who produced the Original London Cast Recording track?
- Tim Minchin and Chris Nightingale are credited producers on the cast album.
- When was the cast recording released?
- September 13, 2011, with a later digital iTunes release on October 18, 2011.
- How is “Telly” usually arranged instrumentally?
- A compact West End pit band - keys, reeds doubling sax/clarinets, guitar, bass, trumpet, cello, and percussion - gives it that lounge-swing bite.
Awards and Chart Positions
While “Telly” itself wasn’t a standalone single, the show around it smashed awards: Matilda won seven Olivier Awards in 2012, a then-record, and the Broadway cast album later earned a 2014 Grammy nomination for Best Musical Theater Album.