Finale: Not For All The Rice In China Lyrics — As Thousands Cheer
Finale: Not For All The Rice In China Lyrics
Something new in the show at last
Something new, if you please
We won't pull the same old wheeze
We mean that we won't reprise
The chorus of one of the melodies
At last! At last!
Here's a show that'll end at last
Without a reprise and that's news
They looked up the Constitution and they couldn't find a word
That said we had to sing a song that you'd already heard
The finest legal minds have met and everyone agrees
That when we reach the finale we don't have to sing a reprise
At last! At last!
We've come to the end at last
It'll all be over soon
But we don't intend to croon
The composer's favorite tune
The one they sang beneath the moon
Now we'll explain a reprise
It's that certain song they sing all through the show
And the one they sing again before you go
But the judges met and everyone agrees
That we will have to end without a reprise
Yes, we will have to end without a reprise
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it
You'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
You can't sing again about your Easter hat
We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave
The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising
She certainly can can-can
No, you can't repeat
You can't repeat
You can't sing again about the can-can heat
I've got Harlem on my mind
And I'm longing to be lowdown
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
Because if you do we're gonna leave you flat
Never mind that introduction for we don't intend to sing
The chorus of "How's Chances?" as it wouldn't mean a thing
We'd like to sing a song that wasn't written for the score
A simple little chorus that they haven't heard before
A simple little chorus that you haven't heard before:
[REFRAIN:]
Not for all the rice in China
Not for all the grapes in France
Would I exchange the pleasure
That I get with every measure
When we dance
Not for all the kilts in Scotland
Not for all the bulls in Spain
Would I give up arriving
At your house although you're driving
Me insane
Not for all the onions in Bermuda
Or the cheeses that are made by the Swiss
Would I exchange that first kiss
That you gave me
Not for all the beans in Boston
Not for all the steaks in Moore's
Would I agree to part with
All the joy you filled my heart with
When you said, "I'm yours"
Song Overview
Review and Highlights
Quick summary
- Work: As Thousands Cheer (1933), a Broadway newspaper revue with sketches by Moss Hart and songs by Irving Berlin.
- Role in the show: Finale, triggered by a spoof Supreme Court ruling that musicals cannot end with reprises.
- Target of the joke: Society romance and tabloid wealth, commonly described as a send-up of Barbara Hutton and Alexis Mdivani.
- Modern reference: Recorded on the 1998 New York revival cast album as a full-company closer.
As Thousands Cheer (1933) - stage revue - non-diegetic. This finale is Berlin and Hart finishing the paper with a flourish: not a heartfelt goodbye, but a courtroom prank that gives the company permission to go loud. The trick is the premise. A fake Supreme Court decision bans the usual tidy reprise ending, so the show "must" invent a fresh ending on the spot. That meta-joke still lands because it is theatre making fun of its own habits, right there in front of you.
Musically, it runs on quick turns and stacked punch lines. The title hook is pure hyperbole - the kind of phrase a gossip columnist would type with a grin - and Berlin treats it like a chorus you can throw back and forth across the stage. The best performances keep it brisk and conversational, as if everyone is improvising around a headline they just read. According to Concord Theatricals track notes, the 1998 revival lists it as a finale for the full company, which matches how the song behaves: it wants bodies, movement, and a collective "case closed" moment.
- Key takeaways:
- Play the joke straight. The comedy is in the certainty, not in mugging.
- Keep diction razor-clean so the rapid rhyme work stays readable.
- Stage it like a legal ruling turning into a party: order, then release.
Creation History
The revue opened at the Music Box Theatre on September 30, 1933. In show summaries, this song is singled out as the newly minted finale that appears because the fictional court forbids reprises, a neat bit of theatrical self-sabotage. The number also had a recording life beyond the stage. SecondHandSongs lists an early 1933 release by Paul Whiteman, Ramona, and Orchestra, evidence that the tune circulated quickly in band-era settings, not only in the theatre pit.
Song Meaning and Annotations
Plot
A show-within-a-newspaper hits the end of the night and tries to do the usual musical-theatre wrap-up. Then a bogus Supreme Court ruling interrupts: no reprises allowed. The cast scrambles, argues, and suddenly produces a brand-new finale song, using tabloid romance as fuel for the punch line.
Song Meaning
The meaning is a two-layer gag. On the surface, it is a comic refusal: the singer will not do something "not for all the rice in China," pushing desire and status into cartoon exaggeration. Underneath, it is a satire about spectacle itself - how money, marriage, and headlines feed each other. The revue format makes that point sharper, because the audience has been watching "news" become entertainment all evening. As stated in a Smithsonian collection note for the song's sheet music, Berlin's catalog preserved this piece in the same archival universe as his larger hits, which makes sense. It is not sentimental, but it is built with craft that lasts.
Annotations
"A fictional Supreme Court decision ... says musicals cannot end with reprises, resulting in a new number, 'Not for All the Rice in China,' as a finale."
Production history summary
This is the engine. The song is not just "the last tune." It is the show mocking the show, turning a rule into a reason to break out one more time.
"... satire of Barbara Hutton's relationship with Alexis Mdivani ... as a finale."
Scene-description listing
The specific target matters because it tells you the tone: society-page mockery, not abstract comedy. The song points at a real-world headline pattern and says, "We know why you read this."
"Finale - Not For All The Rice In China - All"
Licensing track list
The "All" credit is a staging clue. It wants group momentum, not a solitary closer. Even in a small-cast revival, it plays like a crowd scene.
Style, rhythm, and the headline feel
The rhythm has a patter-adjacent snap, with chorus lines designed for call-and-response. Berlin keeps the harmony functional so the lyric can do the heavy lifting, then lets the ensemble deliver the punch with timing. Think of it as a newsroom ending: the presses are rolling, the copy is hot, and the last paragraph has to stick.
Technical Information (Quick Facts)
- Song: Finale: Not For All The Rice In China
- Artist: As Thousands Cheer 1998 New York Revival Cast
- Featured: All (company finale credit in licensed track lists)
- Composer: Irving Berlin
- Producer: Bruce Kimmel (1998 cast recording release metadata credit)
- Release Date: September 30, 1933 (show opening context); January 1, 1998 (cast album metadata date)
- Genre: Musical theatre, comic ensemble finale
- Instruments: Theatre orchestra (arrangement varies by production and recording)
- Label: Concord Theatricals (1998 cast album distribution metadata)
- Mood: Brisk, satirical, curtain-call ready
- Length: About 4:09 (1998 cast album listings)
- Track #: 14 (1998 cast album listings)
- Language: English
- Album (if any): As Thousands Cheer: The Hit Musical Comedy Revue! (1998 New York Revival Cast)
- Music style: Meta-theatre closer built for group timing and fast lyric delivery
- Poetic meter: Accentual, speech-led phrasing with chorus-driven hooks
Frequently Asked Questions
- Who wrote the finale?
- Irving Berlin wrote the music and lyrics for the number as part of the As Thousands Cheer score.
- Why is it labeled as a finale rather than a normal song slot?
- Show histories describe it as a purpose-built closer, created because a spoof court ruling bans reprise endings.
- What kind of comedy does it use?
- Society-page satire: romance, status, and money treated like headline fodder with a grin.
- Who or what is it usually said to be mocking?
- Scene summaries commonly link it to tabloid attention around Barbara Hutton and Alexis Mdivani.
- Is there a reliable recording?
- Yes. The 1998 New York revival cast album includes it as the company finale on major platforms.
- Did it exist outside theatre, as a band-era tune?
- Yes. A performance index lists an early 1933 release by Paul Whiteman, Ramona, and Orchestra.
- Is it sung by a single character in licensing materials?
- No. Licensed track lists typically credit it to "All," which indicates a company-based staging.
- Is the sheet music documented in major collections?
- Yes. Institutional catalogs list holdings, including Smithsonian and university sheet music collections.
Additional Info
One reason this finale survives on paper is that libraries kept it like a headline worth clipping. Institutional catalogs list sheet music holdings across major collections, including a Smithsonian archival reference and university sheet-music libraries. That matters in practical terms: it keeps the song findable for revivals, concerts, and anyone who wants the original joke intact.
There is also a neat recording-era footprint. A 1933 Victor discography entry in a discography database lists a "Bee Sharp Orchestra" take, and a scanned issue of Variety shows "Not for All the Rice in China" appearing alongside other contemporary releases. Not a modern chart story, but it is proof the tune moved through the same commercial channels as the big dance-band records of the day, which is exactly what Berlin tended to engineer.
Key Contributors
| Entity | Type | Relationship (S - V - O) |
|---|---|---|
| Irving Berlin | Person | Berlin wrote the music and lyrics for the finale. |
| Moss Hart | Person | Hart wrote the revue sketches that frame the courtroom spoof setup. |
| Concord Theatricals | Organization | Concord lists the 1998 cast recording track as a company finale. |
| As Thousands Cheer 1998 New York Revival Cast | Organization | The cast recorded the finale for the 1998 album release. |
| Smithsonian | Organization | The Smithsonian catalogs a sheet-music archival item for the song. |
| SecondHandSongs | Organization | The index documents an early 1933 release by Paul Whiteman, Ramona, and Orchestra. |
| Music Box Theatre | Venue | The theatre hosted the Broadway opening of As Thousands Cheer in 1933. |
Sources
Sources: Concord Theatricals show page and cast-album track list, Wikipedia As Thousands Cheer entry, Bruxellons show summary page, SecondHandSongs work and release index, Smithsonian Irving Berlin sheet music archival reference, Apple Music 1998 cast album listing, Spotify track listing, YouTube track upload for the finale, UCSB Discography of American Historical Recordings entry, Variety (December 1933) scanned text.