What If Lyrics — Addams Family, The

Song Overview

Review and Highlights

Quick summary

• What it is: Pugsley's Act One worry-song, a comic lament that turns sibling torture into a love language.
• Where it appears: Act One, just before the "Full Disclosure" dinner sequence gathers force.
• Who performs it on the 2010 cast album: Adam Riegler with Jackie Hoffman credited on the track listing.
• Album placement: Track 8, running 2:06.
• Date anchor: The Broadway production opened April 8, 2010; the cast recording was released June 8, 2010.

The Addams Family (2010) - stage musical - non-diegetic. This is the show handing the kid a real number and trusting the audience to lean in. Not a cute aside, not a throwaway gag. Pugsley is terrified of losing his place in the family ecosystem, and he frames that fear in the only terms he has: if Wednesday stops tormenting him, what does that say about her, about him, about the house?

What I enjoy is the song's scale. It does not beg for applause with a big belt or a grand finish. It keeps the anxiety tight and specific, like a child counting the ways a familiar world might slip. The comedy comes from the premise - torture as affection - but the craft is in how the score treats that premise with straight-faced logic.

Key takeaways

• It sharpens Pugsley from "spooky kid" into a character with stakes and strategy.
• It sets up the truth-serum plot device without feeling like homework.
• Its lilting pulse makes the scheming feel oddly tender, which is very Addams.

Creation History

Andrew Lippa wrote the music and text for the show, and the song is documented in licensed sheet music with a 2009 date - a reminder that it was shaped in the pre-Broadway period before the April 2010 opening. According to Playbill, the cast recorded the album on April 19, 2010 and released it on June 8, 2010 through Decca Broadway, keeping the track close to its first Broadway season.

Song Meaning and Annotations

Plot

The musical builds to a dinner where the Addams family hosts Lucas and his parents, a polite clan that thinks it has walked into a haunted house run by charmers. Wednesday is in love, Gomez is hiding it from Morticia, and everyone is acting one step ahead of what they can handle. In the middle of that adult chaos, Pugsley fears a private apocalypse: he thinks romance will steal his sister away from their lifelong ritual of torment. He swipes truth serum from Grandma's cart and aims it at the dinner, hoping it will blow up the relationship before it rewires his family for good.

Song Meaning

The song translates a child's jealousy into Addams logic. Pugsley does not say "I miss her attention." He says, in effect, "If the cruelty stops, love is leaving." That twist is the show's trick in miniature: it uses macabre language to talk about very standard family fear. Growing up changes the rules. The kid who stays behind tries to write new ones fast.

Annotations

No user annotations were provided, so these notes focus on what the text is doing under the laughs: callback setup, character rhythm, and the way the scene plants plot tools.

What if she never tortures me anymore?

It is a clean opening because it tells you everything about the relationship in one line: affection, habit, and panic. Also, it frames "torture" as routine - not a threat, a schedule. That is the Addams family, tidily summed.

What if she starts acting normal?

This fear is bigger than Pugsley. The show keeps asking what "normal" means, who wants it, and who is scared of it. Here, the question arrives from below, in a child's voice, which makes it sting a little more.

Genre, rhythm, and the driving pulse

The published tempo marking is "Liltingly, in 1," and that matters for interpretation. The song moves like a small carousel of anxious thoughts, not a march. The rhythm rocks, the worries stack, and the melody keeps returning as if Pugsley is trying to soothe himself while he plots.

Emotional arc, staged as strategy

The arc runs from worry to plan. First, he names the nightmare. Then he starts bargaining with the universe. Then he reaches for the truth serum - the first truly "active" choice he gets in the story. In performance terms, that means the number should not be played as one long complaint. It is a kid thinking in real time, turning fear into action.

Touchpoints inside the show

Because this is placed before the dinner reveal sequence, it functions as a fuse. It is also a nice change of scale: a big ensemble can sell "family brand," but a smaller number sells the cost of that brand on the people living inside it. As stated in the Tony Awards nominations list for 2010, the score was recognized for its writing, and moments like this are part of why - character voice first, spectacle second.

Technical Information (Quick Facts)

• Artist: Adam Riegler; Jackie Hoffman
• Featured: Cast orchestra
• Composer: Andrew Lippa
• Producer: Andrew Lippa
• Release Date: June 8, 2010
• Genre: Musical theatre; stage and screen
• Instruments: Voice; orchestra
• Label: Decca Broadway
• Mood: Comic worry; plotting energy
• Length: 2:06
• Track #: 8 (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
• Language: English
• Album (if any): The Addams Family - Original Broadway Cast Recording
• Music style: Lilting character song with patter-like turns
• Poetic meter: Mixed; speech-driven phrasing with repeating refrains

Frequently Asked Questions

Who performs this track on the 2010 cast album?

Adam Riegler is credited with Jackie Hoffman on the cast recording track listing.

Which character is driving the scene?

Pugsley. The number is his panic response to Wednesday growing up and shifting her attention elsewhere.

Where does it fall in Act One?

Right before the dinner plot starts detonating secrets, which is why the truth-serum setup lands with such clean timing.

What is the main idea in the lyric?

Pugsley treats sibling torment as proof of love. If it disappears, he assumes affection is disappearing, too.

Is it a big belt showcase?

No. It is tighter and more conversational, built on clarity and comic specificity rather than sustained power.

What key is commonly published for singers?

D major, in a widely used licensed sheet listing.

What tempo should performers aim for?

The same sheet listing marks it "Liltingly, in 1" with a metronome note of dotted half note equals 65, which fits a rocking, thought-to-thought flow.

Does the show treat the song as diegetic?

No. It is staged as a character number rather than music heard by the characters inside the world of the scene.

Was it released as a standalone single?

It is best documented as a cast-album track rather than a separate commercial single.

Awards and Chart Positions

The track itself is not tracked as a separate chart entry, but it sits inside a show and album with public records. As stated in the Tony Awards nominations list for 2010, the production received a nomination for Best Original Score (music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa). The cast album also appeared high on Billboard's Cast Albums chart in June 2010, listed at number 2 in a BroadwayWorld roundup for the week ending June 19, 2010.

How to Sing What If

Using a common licensed sheet listing as a reference point: the published key is D major, the vocal range is A3 to D5, and the tempo marking is "Liltingly, in 1" with dotted half note equals 65. That combination suggests a rocking, story-forward delivery rather than a hard-driven patter sprint.

1. Tempo first: Set a steady dotted-half pulse. Practice speaking the text on that rocking beat, keeping consonants crisp without rushing the ends of phrases.
2. Diction for comedy: The laughs depend on clarity. Keep vowels clean and forward, and let key words land like little drum hits.
3. Breath planning: Mark breaths where the thought changes, not where the lungs run out. This number works best when it feels like one nervous line of thinking.
4. Range management: The top (up to D5) should sound like a kid pushing the thought out, not a grown-up showing off. Aim for a bright, speech-led placement.
5. Rhythm and emphasis: Shape the "what if" repetitions with small dynamic steps. Each repetition should carry a new worry, not the same worry louder.
6. Acting beat: Move from worry into decision. When the scheme clicks in, the voice can firm up slightly - the kid has found a tool.
7. Ensemble and band: If you are singing with a pit, ask for a clear rhythmic bed. The number can feel vague if the accompaniment is too polite.
8. Common pitfalls: Flattening the arc into one long complaint, or overplaying "spooky." The joke lands better when the fear is real and the logic is airtight.

Additional Info

This song is a good example of how the show makes space for its younger characters without patronizing them. It gives Pugsley a motive, a tactic, and a musical shape that fits a child mind: looping, rocking, stacking. It is also a neat bit of stage carpentry. By the time dinner begins, the audience already knows why a kid would gamble with truth serum. The show does not have to stop and explain it later.

The licensed sheet listing also signals how the number is meant to feel: not "cute and fast," but lilting. That word does more than decorate a page. It tells a performer to ride the rhythm like a rocking chair while the thoughts spiral. I have watched plenty of young singers attack it like a novelty song. The better approach is to play the stakes, then let the dark comedy take care of itself.

Key Contributors

Sources

Sources: Playbill cast-album release article (track listing, recording date, release date), IBDB production listing (opening date and venue), Tony Awards nominations list (2010 Original Musical Score nominee), Musicnotes licensed sheet listing (key, tempo, metronome, range, publisher, 2009 date), Wikipedia (plot beat summary and cast-album track length listing), BroadwayWorld (Billboard Cast Albums chart roundup for week ending June 19, 2010), YouTube "Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group" track upload