Charity's Soliloquy lyrics
Can I remember how this song and dance began?
Yes, I can, damn right I can
It began, well, anyway you see there was this man
Who stopped and asked me if I knew, which way was Lexington Avenue
He said, "I'm gone-a Bloomingdale's"
I said, "I'm gone-a Bloomingdale's"
So we hoofed it over the Bloomingdale's
He wanted to buy some jockey shorts
Then he said, "Miss, would you like a cup of tea
Or maybe some seven-up?"
I left the tip, picked up the tab for the jockey's shorts
and the taxicab
He dropped me off and I burned!
Boy let that be a lesson to ya
Lower the boom girl, lower the boom
But what can you do when he knocks on your door?
Cause they locked him out of his furnished room
So he moves in
He moves in with his jockey's shorts and a paper bag
He needs toothpaste and a tooth brush
And pajama tops
He needs razor blades, a razor and a comb
He needs sistering and brothering and fathering and mothering
He needs a hat to hang up in my flat and call it home
In no time at all
I find we're very much in love
And I'm blushing like a sentimental slob
And he's kissing me and hugging me
And all the time he's bugging me to
Go out and try to find myself a better paying job
Comes July, it's ninety-eight degrees
He wants a coat, a fur lined coat
Fur collar, cuffs, the works.
While I really didn't begrudge it
When I figured out my budget for that coat
I had to dance with something like
Eleven hundred jerks
Comes February, ten degrees
I need a coat, need a coat to walk his poodle
That I bought.
so he gives me his old sweatshirt
A muffler and a stretchshirt
And I gave to him, ha
The bronchial pneumonia that I caught
Then I give him pocket money,
Poker money, smoking money, skating money
Bowling money, movie money, haircut money
Money for a bill from Louis' Bar
Money for a bill from Maxi's Bar
Money for a bill from Charlie's Bar
But will he ask for subway money?
Nah he won?t want subway money
Cause it turns out
The bum wants to go to Florida
'Come on down'
Now hear this and get this
Oh Susannah Amen
This big, fat heart
Ain't gonna be torn apart
Ever, ever, ever again. ole. Last Update: December, 22nd 2014