Put The Fu*king Lotion In The Basket Lyrics — Silence!

[Buffalo Bill]
It rubs the lotion on its skin
It does this when it's told
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose

And when it's done
There's one more thing
A simple little task, it's
Put the fucking lotion in the basket

Put the fucking lotion in the basket
All these stupid women are the same
Helps me not to think of them as human
So I call them "it" instead of by their names

[Catherine]
Mister, please, no more abuse!
Can't you see there's no excuse?
My family's probably wondering where I've been

[Bill]
I'll starve you so your skin gets loose!
Stop crying now, you big fat moose!
Just put the fucking lotion on your skin!
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And then put the fucking lotion in the basket
Your chances for survival are remote
I'm impervious to all your silly whining, so
Pipe down before I jam a moth right down your fucking throat!

[Catherine]
Mister, please, my mom's got money!
Let me go, this isn't funny!
The cops are sure to send somebody
Turn me loose, don't be a dummy

[Bill]
Listen to you scream and wail!
Keep it down, you fucking whale!
Mind the broken fingernail
The last girl climbed halfway, but failed

(Bill hums over Catherine's screaming, then a dog barks)

[Bill]
Precious?

[Catherine]
She's down here, you piece of shit!

[Bill]
Put the fucking poodle in the basket!
I'd kill you, but there's someone at the door
Don't make me go and get my gun and shoot you
It's a waste of skin, they don't sell fat girls in a fucking store!
[Bill and Catherine]
Put my fucking precious in the basket!
(I've got your precious in my hands!)
Don't you hurt my one and only friend!
(She broke her leg, she needs a vet!)
You don't know what pain is, but I'll teach you
(So sit and listen to me, it's not too late, just let me go, we'll cut a deal!)
If you lay a fucking finger on my poodle's pretty head!

[Both]
Put the fucking poodle in the basket!
Last Update: December, 08th 2025