Opening Ceremony Lyrics – Chess
Opening Ceremony Lyrics
I've a duty as the referee
At the start of the match
On behalf of all our sponsors
I must welcome you
Which I do -- there's a catch
I don't care if you're a champion
No one messes with me
I am ruthless in upholding
What I know is right
Black or white -- as you'll see
I'm on the case
Can't be fooled
Any objection
Is overruled
Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best
[CHORUS]
He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed
[ARBITER]
You got your tricks
Good for you
But there's no gambit I don't see through
Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score
[CHORUS]
From square one he'll be watching all 64
[ARBITER]
If you're thinking of the kind of thing
That we've seen in the past
Chanting gurus, walkie-talkies,
Walkouts, hypnotists,
Tempers, fists -- not so fast
This is not the start of World War Three
No political ploys
I think both your constitutions are terrific so
Now you know -- be good boys
I'm on the case
Can't be fooled
Any objection
Is overruled
Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best
[CHORUS]
He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed
[ARBITER]
You got your tricks
Good for you
But there's no gambit I don't see through
Oh I'm the Arbiter I know the score
[CHORUS]
From square one he'll be watching all 64
[ARBITER]
Yes I'm the Arbiter I know the score
[CHORUS]
From square one he's watching all 64
[DIPLOMATS]
No one can deny that these are difficult times...
It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R.
Yet we more or less are --
No one can deny that these are difficult times...
-- to our credit putting all that aside
We have swallowed our pride
These are dangerous and difficult times...
It really doesn't matter who comes out on top, who gets the chop
No one's way of life is threatened by a flop --
But we're gonna smash their bastard
Make him wanna change his name
Take him to the cleaners and devastate him
Wipe him out, humiliate him
We don't want the whole world saying
They can't even win a game
We have never reckoned
On coming second
There's no use in losing
It's the U.S. versus U.S.S.R.
Yet we more or less are --
No one can deny that these are difficult times
-- to our credit putting all that aside
We have swallowed our pride
These are very difficult and dangerous times...
The value of events like this need not be stressed
When East and West
Can meet as comrades, ease the tension over drinks
Through sporting links
As long as their man sinks
[MERCHANDISERS]
Whether you are pro or anti
Or could not care less
We are here to tell you
We are here to sell you chess
Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles
We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles
We've a franchise worth exploiting
And we will -- yes we will!
When it comes to merchandising
We could kill
When you get up --
When you get up in the morning
Till you crash at night
You will have to live your life
With bishop, rook and knight
Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste
Wear our vests
Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts
You could even buy a set
And learn to play
We don't mind we'll sell you something
Anyway
We've done all our market research
And our findings show
That this game of chess could be around
A month or so
Maybe it's a bit confusing
For a game
But Rubik's Cubes were much the same
In the end the whole world bought one
All were gone
By which time we merchandisers
Had moved on
By which time we had moved on!
[ARBITER]
I'm on the case, can't be fooled
Any objection is overruled
Don't try to tempt me -- you've no hope
I don't like women, I don't take dope
I'm the Arbiter I know the score
[CHORUS]
From square one he'll be watching all 64
[ARBITER]
You got your tricks -- good for you
But there is no gambit I don't see through
I'm the Arbiter and I know best
[CHORUS]
He's impartial don't push him he's unimpressed
[ARBITER]
I'm the Arbiter my word is law
[CHORUS]
From square one he'll be watching you...
[EVERYONE]
Don't you find it rather touching to behold
The game that came in from the cold
Seen for what it is -- religion plus finesse
Countries, classes, creeds, as one in
Love of chess
Song Overview

Personal Review
This is the moment the arena lights snap on and the rules step into the spotlight. The Opening Ceremony from Chess works like a brisk overture with teeth, a satirical parade where authority struts, diplomats grandstand, and merch hawkers grin. The lyrics set the tone twice over: first as plot engine, then as punchline, and Björn Skifs sells the Arbiter’s swagger with clipped phrasing and a smirk you can hear. Key takeaways: it’s a collage, not a single mood; synths and orchestra spar; and the piece tells you exactly how the match will be played - by the book, loudly. One-sentence snapshot: a referee lays down law while Cold War egos and commerce circle the board.
Song Meaning and Annotations

Think of Opening Ceremony as a stage-montage that frames the entire tournament. It splices together segments - “The Arbiter,” “Diplomats,” “Merchandisers,” and more - and different productions reshuffle or trim them to taste. On the original 1984 concept album the sequence lands early, while the West End and Broadway versions play with order and inclusion, underlining how the show itself treats politics and presentation as interchangeable props.
Musically it’s pop musical theatre fused with synth-pop sheen and orchestral muscle: drum machines and bright keyboards snapping against the London Symphony’s weight. The pace is brisk, closer to a TV broadcast intro than a traditional overture, and that’s the point - this is sport-as-spectacle.
The emotional arc starts cocky, turns combative, then knowingly crass. The Arbiter opens with hard edges and precise diction; the diplomats slide in with Cold War platitudes; the merch crew waltzes through with shameless salesmanship. It’s funny, a bit mean, and very 1984.
Historical touchpoints are baked in. “U.S. versus U.S.S.R.” isn’t just a rhyme, it’s the era’s default headline. The text also nods to controversies around world championship matches in the 70s and early 80s - the era of entourages, walkouts, even alleged hypnotists - all part of the period color that sharpened Chess into a satire.
I don’t care if you’re a champion / No one messes with me
Annotation: The Arbiter speaks from above the board. Rank and reputation don’t trump the rulebook. (A clean character sketch for a role cast as a tenor who polices the stage like a linesman.)
I am ruthless in upholding / What I know is right / Black or white - as you’ll see
Annotation: Double meaning. He deals in absolutes, and his court is literally 64 black-and-white squares.
But there’s no gambit I don’t see through
Annotation: “Gambit” lands twice - a chess opening sacrifice and any risky ploy. The Arbiter claims total x-ray vision, on or off the board.
From square one he’ll be watching all sixty-four
Annotation: Another neat pun. “From square one” becomes literal surveillance of the entire board.
This is not the start of World War Three / No political ploys
Annotation: The song’s satire is that of course it is political - just packaged as sport. The Arbiter insists on neutrality while the delegations burn with propaganda.
But we’re gonna smash their bastard... We have never reckoned on coming second
Annotation: The diplomats’ mask slips. It reads like a proxy-war chant set to a pep-rally beat.
Don’t try to tempt me, you’ve no hope / I don’t like women, I don’t take dope
Annotation: Rather than biography, hear this as self-discipline braggadocio - a referee pledging a monkish focus to stay incorruptible.
Production and instrumentation details matter here. On record, Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus’s synths joust with orchestral brass and strings, arranged on the concept album with glossy electronics over LSO heft. It sounds like a television truck parked next to an opera pit - exactly the aesthetic the story needs.
Creation history
First appearance: the 1984 concept album recorded for RCA/Polar and released in late October 1984, designed (like Evita or Jesus Christ Superstar) to bankroll a later stage run. The West End production opened in 1986 and re-split the Opening Ceremony into distinct numbers - “Diplomats,” “The Arbiter,” “Hymn to Chess,” “Merchandisers,” and a reprise - while the Broadway version shuffled or cut elements, even relocating “The Arbiter” into Act 2.
Verse Highlights

Verse 1
The Arbiter’s entrance is all clipped consonants and dotted rhythms. He states his rule - literal and metaphorical - over a square, symmetrical groove. It’s musical bureaucracy, made catchy.
Chorus
“I’m on the case, can’t be fooled” arrives like a TV bumper. The ensemble’s “He’s impartial” response folds the audience into the press scrum. This is a public hearing set to four-on-the-floor.
Diplomats
The language softens but turns mean under the hood: polite doublespeak that curdles into threats. The arrangement tightens, percussion popping like flashbulbs.
Merchandisers
The key pivots brighter and the groove loosens. It’s a jingle about selling chess toothbrushes - satire at full volume. The joke lands because the hooks are genuinely sticky.
Key Facts

- Featured: Björn Skifs (The Arbiter), Denis Quilley, Ambrosian Singers, London Symphony Orchestra.
- Producers: Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus, Tim Rice.
- Composers: Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus. Lyricist: Tim Rice.
- Release Date: October 26, 1984 (concept album).
- Genre: Musical theatre, synth-pop, pop.
- Instruments: synthesizers, drum programming, electric guitar, orchestral strings and brass.
- Label: RCA Records internationally; Polar in Scandinavia.
- Mood: authoritative, satirical, high-gloss.
- Length: varies by edition as a medley; presented as a multi-part track on the concept album.
- Track #: 3 on Chess (1984).
- Language: English.
- Music style: pop musical with orchestral overlay; satirical patter mixed with anthemic ensemble hooks.
- Poetic meter: mixed, with trochaic punches and anapestic pickups common to patter writing.
- © Copyrights: © 1984 RCA Records/assorted territorial partners.
Questions and Answers
- Was Opening Ceremony ever a standalone single?
- Not as such. The sequence’s key slice, “The Arbiter,” was issued as a single in multiple territories in 1984–85, including UK catalog CHESS 4 with an extended 12-inch mix.
- Who sings the Arbiter on the original recording?
- Björn Skifs, backed by the Ambrosian Singers and the London Symphony Orchestra on the concept album.
- How does the order of the Opening Ceremony change on stage?
- West End splits it into separate numbers - “Diplomats,” “The Arbiter,” “Hymn to Chess,” “Merchandisers,” plus a reprise - while Broadway shuffled or cut pieces and later placed “The Arbiter” in Act 2.
- Is there an official video of “The Arbiter” from this era?
- Yes. The video appears on the 1985 home video compilation Chess Moves and was also included on the 2014 deluxe remaster DVD.
- How does this track connect to the show’s big hits?
- It sets the satirical frame that later makes “One Night in Bangkok” and “I Know Him So Well” land as character studies within a media circus. Those singles hit hard on the charts - US No. 3 and UK No. 1 respectively.
Awards and Chart Positions
The song itself wasn’t a chart single, but its keystone number “The Arbiter” was released as a single in several markets in 1984–85, including UK 7" CHESS 4 and a 12" extended mix. The parent project delivered the big chart moments: “One Night in Bangkok” hit No. 3 on the US Hot 100, while “I Know Him So Well” reached No. 1 in the UK. The show’s West End run earned a 1986 Olivier nomination for Best New Musical.
How to Sing?
Range and tessitura: the Arbiter sits in a tenor/baritenor pocket roughly B2 to A4 in many licensed versions. It wants clean, percussive diction and quick breaths between patter phrases. Keep consonants crisp and ride a forward placement so the rhythm section doesn’t swallow your text. On the concept album the tempo is moderate-brisk; think broadcast energy, not breakneck - you’re the metronome in the room.
Songs Exploring Themes of rivalry, rules and spectacle
“One Night in Bangkok” - Murray Head. Same universe, different vantage. Where Opening Ceremony codifies rules, “Bangkok” mocks the tournament’s excess with a tour-guide rap and a soaring pop chorus. The lyrics are acidic, the beat sleek, and the character’s disdain spotlights the show’s TV-age cynicism. On record it became the project’s global calling card, peaking at No. 3 in the US.
“I Know Him So Well” - Elaine Paige & Barbara Dickson. Meanwhile, the show’s human cost plays out in long lyrical lines and close-harmony ache. No referees here, no crowd control - just collateral hearts. Its chart-topping UK success underlines the musical’s range: from arena-ready satire to intimate confession.
“The Soviet Machine” - stage version. If the Arbiter is the rulebook personified, this number is the bureaucracy amplified. The lyric turns propaganda into percussion, with block harmonies that feel like marching banners. Heard alongside Opening Ceremony, it deepens the portrait of a game that doubles as pageant.
Music video
Chess Lyrics: Song List
- Act 1
- Merano
- The Russian And Molokov Where I Want To Be
- Opening Ceremony
- Quartet
- The American And Florence Nobodys Side
- Chess
- Mountain Duet
- Florence Quits
- Embassy Lament Anthem
- Anthem
- Act 2
- One Night In Bankok
- Heaven Help My Heart
- Argument
- I Know Him So Well
- The Deal (No Deal)
- Pity The Child
- Endgame
- Epilogue: You And I The Story (Reprise)