School of Rock: Musical script
School of Rock script
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber Lyrics by Glenn Slater Script by Julian Fellowes
Act I SCENE ONE Olympic Powerhouse 1. IāM TOO HOT FOR YOU JEFF ā¦ And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage: No Vacancy! THEA Hey! Weāve been together Such a long long time Itās been a great three days you know itās true But now I canāt help thinkinā Something isnāt right And honestly it isnāt me itās youā¦ Iām too hot for you Babe you just canāt deny Iām too hot for you The mirror doesnāt lie Thought youād past the test But youāre a six at best Iām too hot for you So letās just say goodbye. DEWEY Letās pick it up now guys! THEA Baby donāt feel sorry I know how hard you tried I guess some things they just Aināt meant to be DEWEY YEAH!
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THEA You wanna know what happened Just look me in the eye Face it babe the answerās Plain to see DEWEY Plain to see! Yeah! THEA Iām too hot for you DEWEY Me too! THEA I know, itās so unfair DEWEY SO unfair! Baby! THEA Iām too hot for you And youāre just kinda there! Iām too hot for you Dewey begins to play a wild guitar solo. His bandmates watch in horror. THEA Dewey cut it out! Dewey! Dewey! BOB Dewey! What are you doing?! DEWEY Thank you New York! Goodnight! THEA Thatās it, Iām done with that guy. Heās out, DOUG Alright, man!
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SCENE TWO Deweyās Bedroom NED Do we have to do this now? PATTY Yes, heās trashed the house again, Iām sick of it! NED Heās lived here a long time. PATTY What does that mean? Heās been here longer than me so I matter less? NED No, Patty-cake, of course not, itās just ā we went to High School together, we were in a band together. Heās my best friend. PATTY Heās not your friend. Heās a freeloader, Ned, and he never pays rent. He takes advantage of you. Heās rude to me, and itās time he paid some rent! NED Waking him up in the morning is a bad idea. Itās like using a beehive as a piƱata ā itās dangerous! PATTY You canāt live your life letting people push you around. Go! Do it! DEWEY (Talking in his sleep) Yes, I understand guacamole is two dollars extraā¦ NED Dewey. Dewey? Dewey! PATTY Wake up, Dewey! Time to get up! She rips the covers off Dewey. He stumbles out of bed with a start.
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DEWEY Patty! What do you want? PATTY The rent. DEWEY You woke me up for that? PATTY Yes, we woke you up for that!! DEWEY I am so sick and tired of being the guy everyone comes to for the money I owe them. PATTY Well, sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, but weāre going to work now, Dewey. You see we work. I serve the Mayor of this city ā the whole city ā and Nedā¦ Ned has the most important job there is! DEWEY Temping? PATTY Teaching! A substitute teacher is not a temp! DEWEY Heās a babysitter. NED Iād like to see you try it! DEWEY Sweet comeback, bro. PATTY I donāt care what you think of us, Dewey. Pay some rent! DEWEY Tell her, Ned! The Battle of the Bands is in three weeks! I need every penny I make! PATTY So do we! And you know what? It belongs to us! Why donāt you sell that stupid guitar?
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DEWEY (Lunging for guitar) Noooo! Would you ask Picasso to sell his guitar? PATTY Oh my God, youāre an idiot. DEWEY Ned? Help me here. You canāt have forgotten what Iām playing for. Whatās happened to you? You used to be a blood sucking, cross-dressing incubus from Maggot Death! NED Thatās not who I am anymore PATTY Heās moved on, Dewey. Itās called āgrowing upā! You should try it. Patty exits. DEWEY I donāt want to try! Ned?! Iāve been mooching off you for years and itās never been a problem before. NED Come on. If you donāt pay rent, Patty might leave me. DEWEY So I shouldnāt pay the rent then? NED Dewey. I may never get another girlfriend 3. WHEN I CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MOUNT ROCK DEWEY Ned. When I win the Battle of the Bands I will be rolling in the Benjaminās and then Iāll pay your stupid rent. And thatās just the beginning. Iāll be strumming my axe in a basement dive With my totally kick-ass band When an army of A and R men will arrive With pen and contracts in hand
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And theyāll whisk me away in a big black car And the record execs and the girls from P.R Theyāll know from the start what a major league star I will beā¦ Just wait and seeā¦! NED Please Dewey, just pay it! DEWEY When I climb to the top of Mount Rock And Iām there staring down from the heights In my black leather boots my seven-inch heels And my lizard skin spandex tights Iāll dive off the edge straight into a crowd Thatās screaming my name out loud And the gates will unlock At the top of Mt. Rock! Dewey arrives at a REHEARSAL SPACE. His band, āNo Vacancyā, is there waiting DEWEY Hey, guys! Iāve got some killer new material for the Battle of the Bands. THEA Dewey, youāre out. Weāre taking the Battle of the Bands seriously this year. Meet Snake SNAKE Sup. DEWEY What?! No! You canāt kick me out. I created No Vacancy! THEA You brought the band together and now the band wants you out. DOUG Donāt feel bad, Dewey. You donāt fit in. Weāre all really good looking. DEWEY Thanks for that, Doug! But youāve forgotten about one little thing: The Music! You know what? I donāt need you. I donāt need any of you!
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Iāll be blowing out amps playing stadium shows On my sold-out galactic tour And Iāll blister the ears of the first thousand rows And Iāll leave while they beg for more Then Iāll pop the champagne and the party will rage No brown M&Ms in my greenroom backstage Bigger than Hendrix and Clapton and Page And the restā¦ GIRL 1 Dewey Finn? DEWEY The all-time best! GIRL 2 What a loser. DEWEY When I climb to the top of Mt. Rock And Iām perched at the uppermost peak With a legion of groupies all duking it out For my chiseled Rock-God physique Iāll scatter hit singles all over the land With my twelve Grammys in hand And the fan-boys will flock āRound the top of Mt. Rock! He ends up at the record store where he works STANLEY Youāre late again, Dewey. I have to let you go. DEWEY But Stanley, I need this job. Iāve got to pay rent. STANLEY That was your last chance. DEWEY Please!
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The doubters and the haters and the hipsters Let āem laugh Soon theyāll all be begginā for my roadieās autograph I know my time is coming Well, hopefully itās coming Iām pretty sure itās coming, any day Once I find a wayā¦ When the dreams that Iāve had since the day I turned ten Will be finally coming true And no one will call me a loser again Or tell me what I canāt do. So Iāll hold my head high, and keep strumming those strings And Iāll grab any chance that my destiny brings Iāll rise and Iāll rise and Iāll rise on the wings of my song Up where I belongā¦ And Iāll climb to the top of Mount Rock And be part of that heavenly scene With Odin and Zeus on the bass and the drums And Thor playing tambourine. And Elvin and Janis and Kurt will appear And Jesus will toss me a beer And weāll jam āround the clock At the top of Mount Rock At the top of Mount Rock At the top of Mount Rock! Phone rings DEWEY What do you want? ROSALIE Hello? This is Rosalie Mullins, Principal of Horace Green Prep School. Am I speaking with Mr. Ned Schneebly? DEWEY No. Heās not here. ROSALIE Will you give him a message? DEWEY Whatever.
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ROSALIE We have had an emergency and we need an immediate substitute to start tomorrow morning at 8:45. I am not sure for how long, but the position will pay nine hundred and fifty dollars a week. DEWEY Nine fifty a week? ROSALIE Yes. Nine hundred and fifty dollars a week. Without a word, Dewey goes to the door, opens and closes it DEWEY Hold on a second, I think he just came in the door. Hello-o! Anybody home-e? Oh, hey Dewey! Ned, the principal from Horace Green is on the phoneā¦ Hello this is Ned Schneebly. To whom am I speaking, please? SCENE THREE HORACE GREEN 4. HORACE GREEN ALMA MATER ROSALIE No running! MR MOONEYHAM Zack. Zack! Donāt make me call you twice! And walk like youāre going somewhere! Look at you! Tuck in your shirt! ROSALIE Good morning, Mr Mooneyham. Good morning, Zack. ZACK Good morning Ms Mullins! ROSALIE Good morning, Mrs Hathaway. Good morning, Summer. SUMMER Good morning, Ms Mullins!
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MRS HATHAWAY Ms. Mullins, I wonder if I could ā SUMMER Mum, your car is in a no parking zone. MRS HATHAWAY I know, honey, but I just wanted to ask Ms. Mullins if ā SUMMER Iāll do the asking. Go move the car. MRS HATHAWAY All right, honey if youāre ā Summer has already gone. MRS HATHAWAY Sheās so definite ROSALIE Isnāt she just? MR WILLIAMS Youāre sure youāve got everything? MR SPENCER Your homework? Your books? ROSALIE Good morning, Mr. and Mr. Spencer-Williams. Hello, Tomika. MR WILLIAMS Hello Ms. Mullins. How is she settling in? ROSALIE Itās hard to join a new school at her age, but sheāll be fine. MR WILLIAMS And your cold is completely gone? MR SPENCER It wasnāt a cold, it was an allergy MR WILLIAMS Iām holding her lunch. Kevin, Iām holding her lunch! Tomika!
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School bell rings PUPILS Here at Horace Green We face the future Always striving Eager to succeed Here at Horace Green The old traditions Shape who we are In words and deed. Solemn and serene We shoulder duty Seek perfection Toil and never rest Thanks to Horace Green Our Alma Mater Weāll take our place Amongst the best Here at Horace Green We march in lock-step Ever upward Destined to achieve Here at Horace Green We go forth proudly Marked for success The day we leave ROSALIE Children? One word before you go. Pupils freeze ROSALIE Due to Mrs. Dunhamās injury, a substitute will be arriving this morning. His name is Mr. Schneebly and I want to see him treated with the courtesy that has made Horace Green famous. You are dismissed. Pupils leave.
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4A. HORACE GREEN ALMA MATER (UNDERSCORE) MS SHEINKOPF Ms. Mullins, when will he be here? ROSALIE I told him we begin at eight forty-five. MS SHEINKOPF But itās nine forty-five. ROSALIE Letās hope he arrives before ten. MS SHEINKOPF And will he fit in? ROSALIE His resume is very impressive. Can you take care of his class until he arrives? MS SHEINKOPF (To class) Get back! All of you! Now! Madison runs onto stage ROSALIE No running! Madison begins to cry ROSALIE Donāt cry. Do you want a hug? MADISON Ahhh! ROSALIE But I ā Madison runs off stage Dewey enters ROSALIE Deliveries are out back.
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DEWEY No, Hi. Iām Ned Schneebly. The substitute? ROSALIE Youāre very late Mr. Schneeblyā¦ Never mind, youāre here now. Principal Rosalie Mullins, we spoke on the phone. DEWEY Sure. First things first: is there any chance of being paid up front? ROSALIE What? DEWEY Itād be really great if I could be paid now. In cash. ROSALIE We donāt do that. DEWEY If you say so, but no checks made out to Ned Schneebly, OK? Everything made out to cash. Tax purposes. ROSALIE You can discuss that with Candace in administration at the end of the day. Dewey raises his hand ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly DEWEY When is the end of the day? ROSALIE The school hours are from eight forty-five to three. DEWEY Can I duck out a little early? I had a few last night and my head is like pounding. Thatās if you donāt mind. ROSALIE I mind.
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DEWEY Cool. ROSALIE Mr Schneebly, perhaps youāre not familiar with this kind of institution. Let me explain something to you. 5. HERE AT HORACE GREEN ROSALIE Here at Horace Green Our name has come to mean Pure excellence In every sense Which we commandeer For quite a lofty yearly fee. When they write those checks Each parent here expects Their child to earn A high return And because they do The pressureās on for you and me. Here at Horace Green We rule the rankings Lead in funding Test right off the chart Greatness is routine The board demands it Or we will both Be ripped apart DEWEY No worries with me. If a kid gets out of line, I smack āem. Real hard. ROSALIE There is no corporal punishment at Horace Green DEWEY But you do spank āem, right? ROSALIE No.
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At our hallowed school The children, as a rule Learn discipline We drill it in With, as you might guess The fear of doing less than well. While theyāre in our care We tenderly prepare Them to compete MR NOBLE Morning, Ms. Mullins! ROSALIE With the elite. MR GREEN Good morning, Ms Mullins! ROSALIE Till they are dispersed To Harvard or, at worst, Cornell. Here at Horace Green We take top honours Crush our rivals Wear the Prep-school crown. Thereās no in between We get results here Or the Alums Will hunt us down. Ah, here we are! This is your classroom. Good morning, children! PUPILS Good morning, Ms. Mullins. ROSALIE. Thank you, Ms. Sheinkopf. MS SHEINKOPF Youāre welcome. ROSALIE Children, this is Mrs. Dunhamās substitute, Mr. Schneebly.
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PUPILS Good morning, Mr. Schneebly. ROSALIE Why donāt you write your name on the board? DEWEY Good thinking. He picks up a chalk and writes Mr. F ā ROSALIE Thatās a funny S. DEWEY Iām just trying to get control of this darned chalk. Donāt give me such a hard time! Thatās better. He writes Mr. Schneebly but struggles to remember how to spell it ROSALIE Well then. Any further questions? Dewey raises his hand ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly. DEWEY Whenās lunch? ROSALIE Lunch is at lunchtime. Oh, Mr. Schneebly, one last thingā¦ 5A. HERE AT HORACE GREEN (PART 2) Here at Horace Green We stick to custom Keep on schedule Do what must be done. Donāt and it will mean I go ballistic ā Right, then, thatās all. Good luck. Have fun.
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She leaves. The children stare at Dewey. Dewey stares at them. DEWEY Whoās got some food? SUMMER Weāre discouraged from brining unauthorized food into the building. DEWEY Nobodyās going to get in any trouble. Iām hungry. You. I know youāve got food. LAWRENCE I have a cereal bar. DEWEY Give it here. Takes a bite, clearly doesnāt like it. DEWEY What is this? Donāt you have any real food? LAWRENCE Real food? DEWEY A burger! A pizza! Whatās the matter with you? LAWRENCE Iām gluten intolerant. DEWEY Oh God! You! Whatās your name? FREDDY Freddy Ham ā DEWEY Get up here, Freddy Mercury. You got any money?
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FREDDY I have ten dollars. DEWEY Great. Now I want you to go out and get me a meatball sub with extra cheese and a large Diet Coke. SUMMER Mr. Schneebly, we canāt leave the school. DEWEY Ever? SUMMER Not until the final bell. DEWEY OK. Hereās the deal. Iāve got a hang-over. Who knows what that is? LAWRENCE Does it mean youāre drunk? DEWEY No. It means I was drunk yesterday. ZACK It means youāre an alcoholic. All children laugh. DEWEY (Sarcastic laugh) Alcoholic. Whatās your name? ZACK Zack Mooneyham. DEWEY Well, shut up, Zack Mooneyham. The point is, today you can just chill out. Weāll start on the teaching rubbish tomorrow. Take recess. Have fun. Leave me alone. Summer raises her hand
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DEWEY You. Lucy Liu. SUMMER Summer Hathaway. Do you have any questions about our schedule? Mrs. Dunham starts with vocabulary followed by a word quiz, then she divides us into reading groups ā DEWEY Donāt you see that Mrs. Dum-Bum is not your teacher today? I am. And I say itās time for recess. SUMMER My parents donāt spend fifty thousand dollars a year for recess. DEWEY Fifty thousand dollars? SUMMER Mr. Schneebly. Come with me. This poster tracks our achievements. We get gold stars for how we do in class. Dewey walks over to chart. DEWEY What kind of sick school is this? This is a tool of The Man. ZACK The who? DEWEY Not The Who, The Man! The man is everywhere! Donāt you know who The Man is? Ms. Mullins is the Man. The man is responsible for global warming, tuxedos, Jar Jar Binks and the Kardashians. ZACK So what are we supposed to do about it? DEWEY Youāre supposed to fight him! With RockānāRoll and spirit and everything youāve got to give. SUMMER Thatās all very well, but how can we be graded or get any gold stars today, if we just have recess.
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Dewey rips poster down and tears to shreds. DEWEY Now, listen! As long as Iām here, there will be no grades and no gold stars and absolutely no achievements! Weāre gonna have recess all the freakinā time. Geddit? Not re-cess! Go! SUMMER Weāll see what Ms Mullins has to say about this. DEWEY (Mocking Summer) Mey-Meh May-Meh May! No we wonāt. Now go! Children run off stage. 5B. HORACE GREEN U/S SCENE FOUR THE APARTMENT Patty enters, dressed for a run. She begins to stretch. Ned enters, carrying a bag. NED Patty, Iām homeā¦ Oh, hello! Are you going out? PATTY Iām going for a run. Come with! NED Ohhh. You know, Iād love to, but I canāt. I have so many papers to grade and I donāt want to betray 35 children. Ned gets out computer PATTY Oh thatās my little Neddyā¦ such a hard worker. Do you know how I admire you? NED Really?
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PATTY Really. Bye Mr Wonderful. Ned waits for Patty for go. He rushes over to the couch and whips out a Guitar Hero guitar. NED Patty? He switches on the TV, selects a song and begins to play. GUITAR HERO V/O Guitar Hero! After a minute, Dewey enters. He stares. DEWEY JUDAS! NED Oh my God! Dewey! Donāt sneak up on me like that! I thought you were Patty. DEWEY Never mind her. You are playing without me! Could my week get any worse? NED I just started, but weāve only got a few minutes before Patty gets home. DEWEY Yes! Dewey pulls out a Guitar Hero guitar GUITAR HERO V/O Player 2 has entered the game. They begin to play.
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DEWEY How was your day? NED So-so. DEWEY Thatās what you get when youāre a teacher, Ned. It is life-sucking, trust me, I know. NED How? DEWEY Just do. NED Sorry you got kicked out of your band. DEWEY Donāt worry about that, I have a plan. Dewey watches Ned play. DEWEY Switch! They switch sides. NED Switch! They continue to play until the song ends. NED So whatās your plan? 6. CHILDREN OF ROCK DEWEY Can you imagine six strings ablaze NED Whaddya mean?
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DEWEY Back up on stage, man, Just like the good old days. NED Oh noā¦ DEWEY Decked out in leather NED Leather? DEWEY Axes in hand! NED I do like leather. DEWEY Rising to conquer the Battle of the Bands NED Donāt do this to me, Deweyā¦ DEWEY Crowd packed and steaming Everybody screaming Dude? Weāll be monsters of Rock! NED I canātā¦ DEWEY Framed in the spotlight Baskinā in that hot light ā Ass-kickinā giants of rock NED But, Pattyā¦ DEWEY Teenagers ravinā Lighters up and wavinā Theyāll know weāre Titans of rock!
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NED Oh Godā¦ DEWEY Bro, letās get to it ā You know you wanna do it Letās go be children of Rock. NED (Giving up) Iāll do it! Dewey appears with an amp and guitars DEWEY Picture the mayhem NED I see it all! DEWEY & NED Maggot-Death mania Fans going off the wall! DEWEY Amps overloading Energy exploding Us being monsters of rock! NED Place getting hectic Atmosphere electric ā Dude, weāll be giants of rock! DEWEY Raging and reeling Nothing like the feeling When youāre a Titan of rock DEWEY & NED Full throttle jamming Hardcore body-slamming Death metal children of rock DEWEY And when itās over
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NED One mighty roar DEWEY & NED Ten thousand voices Begging for just one more! They play wild solos. Suddenly, Patty appears. Ned & Dewey canāt hear her over the music. PATTY NED!!! NED!!! Patty switches off their amp. Ned immediately puts the guitar down. 7. MT ROCK REPRISE PATTY Youāve been playing for free in the lamest dives With a talentless, tenth-rate band And the moment a decent replacement arrives They tell you to go pound sand. Now youāre stuck at the foot of Mt Rock And youāre not even close to the trail Youāre a joke and a fool And your so-called career Is an epic, spectacular fail Well weāre done putting up with your freeloading ways ā Cough the rent up in thirty days Or we dump all your schlock DEWEY Ned? PATTY Off the side of Mt Rock Then weāll change every lock. DEWEY This is my last chance.
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PATTY And weāre done with Mt Rock. NED Iām sorry Dewey, I canāt. PATTY Ned! Patty exits, triumphantly, Ned follows. 7A. MT ROCK REPRISE PLAYOUT Dewey is alone. As Dewey exits, we are back at the school. SCENE FIVE HORACE GREEN MUSIC ROOM 8. QUEEN OF THE NIGHT Dewey enters, outside the Music Room. Gabe, another teacher, appears. DEWEY Hey, Joe. Whatās going on? GABE Gabe. Itās ten oāclock! I stood in for you first period, but ā DEWEY Sssh! Whatās that noise? GABE Your class. They have music studies now, with Ms. Mullins. DEWEY My kids? The spoiled brats with the gold stars? Theyāre the ones making that sound? GABE Yes.
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Dewey enters the music room. The students are playing. Ms. Mullins begins to sing. Dewey is astonished. Freddy plays the cymbals with perhaps too much enthusiasm. ROSALIE Freddy. Iām warning you. Ahhhhh. (To Freddy) Thatās it. Youāre done. Get out. Ahhhh Sobist du meine tochter nimer mehr. The students finish the song. A bell rings. ROSALIE Class dismissed. The class leaves. Summer remains. SUMMER Ms. Mullins, may I speak to you a moment? ROSALIE Yes, Summer. SUMMER I have some concerns about Mr. Schneedbly. Are you sure heās qualified to teach us? ROSALIE Iām sure he is more qualified to teach than you are to question my decisions. SUMMER But he tore ā ROSALIE Itās time for class, Summer.
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SUMMER But he ā ROSALIE Itās time for class. Summer goes to exit, then turns back for one last attemptā¦ ROSALIE Class. Summer goes. Rosalie hums to herself. ROSALIE Ahhh. 8A. QUEEN OF THE NIGHT ā PLAYOUT SCENE SIX HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM Dewey runs back into the classroom with various instruments, including electric guitars, keyboards, amps, basses, etc. The children arrive. DEWEY Hey! Come in! Come in! Sit! SUMMER Whatās going on, Mr Schneebly? DEWEY Always the little question mark. SUMMER I like to know whatās going on.
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DEWEY Do you? Well, I like to know whatās going on too, Summer, and thereās something I want to know right now: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME YOU COULD PLAY MUSIC? I had the instruments! They were in my van the whole time! I just didnāt know I had the players! LAWRENCE What difference does it make? DEWEY What difference? I thought you were just a bunch of little losers. Now I know youāre soul brothers and soul sisters! What difference?! Iām not alone! Oh, God! I am not alone! SUMMER Does that mean no more recess? DEWEY Iāll tell you what it means. It means we can compete in The Battle of the Bands. MARCY Whatās The Battle of the Bands? DEWEY Excuse me? You do know about earth and water? Or air and fire? Then how come you donāt know about The Battle of the Bands?! SUMMER If this is some kind of dream of yours ā DEWEY Yes, itās a dream of mine, little Miss Sunshine! And you know what? Itās going to be a dream of yours too. SUMMER I doubt it. DEWEY But you have a feeling for music! Real music! Iāve heard you! LAWRENCE But classical music, Mr. Schneebly. Not your kind of music. DEWEY Nonsense! Music speaks to you! Thatās what matters! You! Zack!
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9. YOUāRE IN THE BAND DEWEY Ever play an electric guitar? ZACK My dad says itās a waste of time. DEWEY Well, Zack, letās waste that time together. Here, take this. He hands Zack an electric guitar. DEWEY Now pay attention. Grab a hold of your axe and try to pluck out this riff. Dewey plays riff. Zack copies. DEWEY Good! Now let your shoulders relax You donāt wanna be so stiff. Zack plays again, with more confidence. DEWEY Thatās it! Zack plays it again, with feeling. DEWEY Excellent! Keep on going, donāt stop Take it over the top Make each note really pop Squeeze out every last drop Give it one final whop! And yes! Youāre in the band. You! Whatās your name?
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KATIE Katie. DEWEY And what is that big, lumpy thing you were playing? KATIE The cello? DEWEY The cheeeel-lo. Right. Come here. Dewey picks up a bass guitar. DEWEY Turn a cello this way and itās practically like a bass. Dewey plays āSmoke on the Waterā riff. DEWEY Pop the strings when you play and watch how you shred my face. Katie plays riff. DEWEY Whoa, yes! Katieās shredding my face off! Oh, no, itās still there. Keep on rocking each note Grab it right by the throat Keep the rhythm afloat Donāt forget to emote And thatās all that she wrote Baby, youāre in the band! Piano man! LAWRENCE Lawrence. DEWEY Whatever, dude, come here! If you play the piano You can play the keys.
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LAWRENCE I only play classical ā DEWEY So just loosen it up and strut your expertise. LAWRENCE I donāt think I can. DEWEY Take a look at this music And let your mind expandā¦ Lawrence plays a keyboard riff. DEWEY ā¦ Youāre in the band! Now whoās gonna be my drummer? FREDDY I play percussion SUMMER You play the cymbals. FREDDY Shut up! DEWEY Shut up! Sit your butt at the skins And try to whack out a beat. Freddy plays a simple rhythm. DEWEY Not bad. For my Grandma. Whoās dead. Feel the grove in your pins Then slowly turn up the heat. Freddy starts getting fancy
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DEWEY Yeah, now heās playing like my Grandmother whoās alive! And now, rat-a-tat-tat Hit the bass and high hat! Make it juicy and fat! Yeah, exactly like that! And now shut it down flat ā Freddy plays a monster fill. DEWEY Youāre in the band! SUMMER I still donāt see how this is going to work. Whatāll I do? DEWEY You just sit back and enjoy the magic of rock. JAMES You mean weāre not in the band? DEWEY Now hold on. Just ācos youāre not in the bad, it doesnāt mean youāre not in the band. Iām gonna need some backup singers. Anyone? (Points to Marcy) Sing! MARCY The sunāll come out tomorrow Betcher bottom dollar ā DEWEY (Points to Shonelle) Sing! SHONELLE Oh say can you see By the dawnās early ā DEWEY (Points to Summer) Sing!
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SUMMER Memory All alone in the moonlight ā This sounds terrible DEWEY No, no, no. (To Marcy) Backup singer. (To Shonelle) Backup singer. (To Summer) Groupie. BILLY What about the rest of us? DEWEY Letās seeā¦ I need a couple of Roadies. SOPHIE & MADISON We can do that! DEWEY I need someone on tech. MASON Iāll be tech. DEWEY Who wants to be security? JAMES I will. BILLY Can I be the stylist? DEWEY CHECK!
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SUMMER Mr. Schneebly, I donāt want to be a groupie. DEWEY Groupies are great! Theyāre like cheerleaders, only better. SUMMER No. DEWEY Well, how about being manager? SUMMER Manager? DEWEY Is that something you could swing? SUMMER What does it mean? DEWEY It means Iām putting you in charge of the whole darn thing! SUMMER Yes! DEWEY Weāve got our band! Now Freddy, keep that beat going. Katie, come in on G. Just give me that G, lay it down there. Zack, hit me with some bit fat chords. Awesome! Lawrence, take me to the moon! Where are my backup singers? Like this: Doot, de doot, de doot, Doot de doo Doot, de doot, de doot, Doot de doā¦ MARCY & SHONELLE Doot, de doot, de doot, Doot de doo Doot, de doot, de doot, Doot de doā¦
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DEWEY Now repeat after me āI pledge allegiance to the bandā PUPILS āI pledge allegiance to the bandā DEWEY And I promise to give Mr. Schneebly full command PUPILS I promise to give Mr. Schneebly full command DEWEY And with me in control of the band as a whole We will rock and weāll roll with our heart and our soul If youāre in raise your hand KATIE Iām in the band BILLY Iām in the band SUMMER Iām in the band FREDDY Iām in the band MARCY & SHONELLE Iām in the band ZACK Iām in the band DEWEY Yes! Youāre in the band! PUPILS Weāre in the band
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DEWEY Youāre in the band! PUPILS Weāre in the band DEWEY Youāre in the band! Dewey looks through his bag and hands out CDs to them. Lawrence is hanging back. Here! The history of Jimi Hendrix by tomorrow. You! Les Claypool, listen to track three itās incredible. ZACK Are we going to compete against other schools? DEWEY Thereās no question that a win will go on your permanent record. Hello, Harvard. Hello, Yale. Yo. But I canāt put in a good word for you unless you clean this place up! I mean, what am I not paying you guys for? Roadies? All of you! Clean up! (Seeing Tomika all alone) Whatās wrong? Tomika shakes her head. DEWEY Tomika? Something is wrong. Tell your old pal, Mr. Schneebly. Come on, you can talk to me. MARCY You havenāt given her a job. DEWEY Sure. OK. Can you sing? Do you want to be a backup singer with Marcy and Shonelle? Tomika shakes her head. DEWEY Then what do you want to do if you donāt want to sing?
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Tomika just canāt say LAWRENCE Mr. Schneebly, can I speak with you a moment? DEWEY (To Tomika) Think about what you want to do, and weāll talk about this later. (To Lawrence) What up homey? LAWRENCE I donāt think I should be in the band. DEWEY Why not? LAWRENCE Iām not cool. People in bands are cool. Iām not cool. DEWEY Dude, youāre cool. The way you play? Why do you say youāre not cool? LAWRENCE Nobody talks to me. I have no friends. Except Tomika, and she doesnāt speak. DEWEY Those days are over. Trust me. LAWRENCE You donāt understand what itās like. Youāre too cool. Lawrence walks away. DEWEY Hey! Come back here! Pop a squat next to papa. You think I donāt understand what itās like? To be lonely and have no friends, to be left out of everything? Believe me, kid, I understand better than you know. By the time Iām done with you, youāll be so cool youāll be a walking popsicle. Youāll be King Cool of all you survey. LAWRENCE Honest?
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DEWEY Honest. LAWRENCE OK. Iāll do it. MASON Are we really going to compete in The Battle of the Bands? DEWEY Are you kidding? 10A. YOUāRE IN THE BAND REPRISE DEWEY With the talent youāve got weāll do more than just compete. Yeah! Weāll be so freakinā hot This hereās the band to beat. Whoās with me? PUPILS Yeah!!! DEWEY If youāre ready to win Then itās time to begin With a remedial spin Through my old CD bin Get in line if youāre in PUPILS Yes! Weāre in the band! DEWEY (To Zack) Clapton. Memorise it. PUPILS Weāre in the band! DEWEY (To Lawrence) Emerson Lake and Palmer. Karn Evil Nine!
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PUPILS Weāre in the band! DEWEY (To Freddy) Rush. Feel it and dream. PUPILS Weāre in the band. DEWEY (To Billy) Bowie. Ziggy Stardust. Iconic. PUPILS Weāre in the band. DEWEY (To Marcy) The Supremes. So tasty! PUPILS Weāre in the band. DEWEY (To Shonelle) Aretha. Soul sister number one! PUPILS & DEWEY Weāre (youāre) in the band. DEWEY Go! Listen! Study! Learn! He hands out the rest of his CDs. SCENE SEVEN STUDENTāS HOMES Freddy enters the garage and tries to avoid his father on his way into the house. MR HAMILTON Whereās your homework?
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Freddy hands his father a CD. MR HAMILTON I donāt believe it. More music? Should I tell you what my homework was? Or how I had to chop wood and bring it in when I finished? Jeez. Freddy, if I had your lifeā¦ FREDDY OK, Dad. I get the message. MR HAMILTON No, you donāt. Do you even know why Iām paying for this school? Or why Iāll pay for an Ivy League College? So you can have any career you choose. FREDDY I choose or you choose? MR HAMILTON Pick up that hammer and get to some real work. Billy is reading a copy of Sports Illustrated MRS SANDFORD What are you reading? BILLY Sports Illustrated. Mrs. Sandford grabs the magazine finding a copy of Vogue hidden underneath BILLY Vogue. Iām going to go to my room. MRS SANDFORD No youāre not! Youāre going come here and watch the game! BILLY Do I have to? MRS SANDFORD Yes! Youāre my son! Youāre a Sandford! Your granddad played football, your Dad played football and youāre gonna play football, too. Itās a legacy, Billy. Now sit down and watch the game.
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Billy sits. The light fades up on Tomika with her fathers. TOMIKA I donāt fit in. MR SPENCER But we love your new school. MR WILLIAMS Your old school was falling apart. Do you know how long we were on the waiting list for Horace Green? TOMIKA I miss my friends. MR SPENCER Donāt be silly! You can make friends anywhere you go! MR WILLIAMS BBFs! Besties! TOMIKA Theyāre much smarter than me! MR SPENCER No one is smarter than you, Tomika. No one is better than you. TOMIKA But I donāt know how to talk to anyone. MR SPENCER Tomika. We know whatās best for you. Zack has arrived home. His father talks into his phone. MR MOONEYHAM Look, Iām not asking anymore, just get it done. ZACK Hey, Dad. You wonāt believe the day we had ā MR MOONEYHAM What did I say when Daddyās on the phone?
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ZACK Youāre working. MR MOONEYHAM Iām working. Hey, Jim? I want ten thousand shares in Northbrook Chemicals. Never mind why. I know what I know. Just do it. 11. IF ONLY YOU WOULD LISTEN ZACK You always talk, talk, talk all the time. MR MOONEYHAM Bob? ZACK You never let me get in a word. MR MOONEYHAM Are you at the meeting tomorrow? Mr. Mooneyham exits. ZACK I wish I had, I had a dime For every thought Iāve swallowed unheard No matter what it is that I do Itās like I just canāt seem to get through. TOMIKA Iāve got so much to say If only you would listen Iāve tried every which way And still you never listen Canāt you see Iām hurting? I couldnāt be more clear But I promise one day Iāll make you hear. FREDDY You know I try, try, try to explain Iām not the kid you want me to be And yet itās all, itās all in vain ā You just donāt wanna see the real me You think you know what Iām all about
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FREDDY, LAWRENCE, TOMIKA & ZACK And yet you just keep shutting me out. Iāve got so much to share If only you would listen You could prove that you care If only you would listen Iām not gonna beg you ā Youāll never see a tear But I promise one day, Iāll make you hear. LAWRENCE Yeah, youāll see one day, Iām gonna make you hear me. MADISON Gotta find a way But you are gonna hear me SHONELLE & MARCY Got so much to say And Iām gonna make you hear me Mr. Sandford exits. PUPILS Maybe then youāll listen You gotta listen You need to listen. You better listen. All parents exit. Iāve got so much inside If only you would listen! Joy and anger and pride If only you would listen! Itās not much Iām asking I only want your ear But I promise one day Iāll make you hear Itās not much Iām asking I only want your ear And I promise one day Iāll shake you So damn hard that at last Iāll wake you Yeah, I promise one day Iāll make you hear!
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SCENE EIGHT HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM DEWEY Alright, look alive, listen up and look alive! First thing you do when you start a band, the very first thing you do, is? You talk about your influences. So who you like? You? MARCY Taylor Swift. DEWEY Who? No! Go to the corner. You? MASON Kanye? DEWEY Wrong. To the corner! Billy? BILLY Adele? DEWEY What? Guy! Please! This project is called Rock Band! Iām talking about bands that rock! Led Zeppelin! SUMMER Who? DEWEY Donāt tell me you guys have never gotten the Led out! What about Sabbath? AC/DC? Motorhead? Augghhh, what do they teach in this place? Summer! New schedule! 8:45 ā 10:45, Rock History. 11:00 ā 12, Rock Appreciation and Theory. Then band practice to the end of the day. LAWRENCE What about math? DEWEY Not important. Ozzy Osbourne doesnāt do math! SHONELLE Science?
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DEWEY Definitely not important! Mick Jagger doesnāt ā Look guys! Weāve gotta focus here. You gotta have a purpose! Donāt you want to win this contest? Itās prestigious! FREDDY So what are we gonna play? DEWEY Oh, you donāt have to worry about that. We have awesome material. Which I wrote. ZACK Letās hear it. DEWEY What? ZACK Letās hear your song. DEWEY You want to hear my song? OK Iāll play you my song if you want to hear it. Thing isā¦ keep in mind that I wrote it in like fifteen minutesā¦ And, uhā¦ Itās not done yet. And you might not ā FREDDY Just play the song, Schneebly! 12. IN THE END OF TIME DEWEY OK, I will sing itā¦ but let me just, uhā¦ get in the zoneā¦ Brrrrrā¦ Brrrrrā¦. Iām riffing here, Iām gonna need some of you to write this down. Some pupils run to their desk and pull out notepads, computers, etc. DEWEY Tip of the tongue on the teeth and the lips. OKā¦ It starts off on a dark stage. Thereās a beam of light and you can see me and my guitarā¦
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Doo now doo now In the end of time There was a man who knew the road And the writing was written on the stone. Now a thin layer of fog comes in around my ankles. Roadies, that means dry ice, weāll talk about this later. In the ancient time An artist led the way But no one seemed to understand. Chimes, Freddy. In his heart he knew The artist must be true But the legend of the rent was way past due. And then Katie, you come in with the bass! Well you think youāll be just fine Without me, but youāre mine! You think you can kick me out of the band? Zack! Itās you now! You come in with a face-melter! Well thereās just one problem there: The band is miiiiine! How can you kick me out of what is mine? Freddy, here I want one of those Hawaii-5-0 drum solos. Youāre not hardcore Unless you live hardcoreā¦ Thatās where I want the backup singers, like Well weāre not hardcore (High) Not youāre not hardcore Unless you live hardcore (High) Unless you live hardcore But the legend of the rent was way hardcore! Boom! A big explosion! Confetti! Anywayā¦ Thatās all I have right now, itās a work in progress.
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SUMMER I liked it, Mr. Schneebly. I thought it was catchy. DEWEY Thank you, Summer Hathaway ā still not giving you a gold star. All right everybody, stand up! Time for Rock History. Lesson one: The fifties! 12A. IN THE END OF TIME (TRANSITION TO FACULTY LOUNGE) SCENE NINE HORACE GREEN ā STAFF ROOM 13. FACULTY QUADRILLE Here at Horace Green Our purpose is to glean good test results From pre-adults Making sure each child is drilled And ranked and filed by score. Hence one would expect Our garishly bedecked new substitute To follow suit Schneedbly, though, comes in And discipline goes out the door. Here at Horace Green Thereās stolen glances Playful whispers Giggling in the gym What it all can mean Is quite confusing Still one thingās clear It comes from him.
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Donāt forget his cocky Over confident air Grease in his hair Stains everywhere And that awful lingo Far too crude to discuss Plus, the endless music coming right through his door Hard to ignore And furthermore Worst of all The children all like him more than us! Here at Horace Green We have a system Which we keep to As weāre told we should Think what it would mean To do things his way! Maybe we too Would do some good Maybe we too, would do some good. Dewey enters as they finish, ready for a high five. DEWEY (To Mr. Green) What-up! My brother from another motha. Mr. Green reluctantly slaps Deweyās hands. DEWEY Yeah!... Coffee! As Dewey pours coffee, the teachers signal to Gabe to talk to him. GABE BROWN Mr Schneebly! So what do you think of our school, Mr Schneebly? Am I saying it right, Schneeeeebly? DEWEY Actually, itās Schnay-blay. GABE BROWN Howās it going? Are you settling in all right?
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DEWEY You know what they say. In marriage or teaching, the first month is the hardest. The teachers laugh. GABE BROWN We were discussing testing. Which test do you prefer? The Tass or the Wilson-Bennet? DEWEY I say no testing. GABE BROWN No testing? DEWEY None at all, and Iāll tell you why, Joe. GABE BROWN Gabe. DEWEY Gabe. I believe the children are our future. Teach them well but let them lead the way. MS. SHEINKOPF By thatās a song. DEWEY I donāt believe so. MS. SHEINKOPF Didnāt Whitney Houston sing it? DEWEY Who? GABE BROWN I wish I knew what youāre getting at. DEWEY Iām getting to the heart of it, Joe.
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GABE BROWN Gabe. DEWEY Gabe. We are a team. We participate. And there is no āIā in participation. Rosalie enters. Dewey waves her over. DEWEY Rosalie! Iāve been looking for you. ROSALIE It might be more appropriate to call me Ms. Mullins. DEWEY It might be. It might be. It might not be. ROSALIE It would be. DEWEY Anyway, Iām thinking about taking the kids away. A field trip. What do you say? ROSALIE I say substitutes donāt organise field trips. DEWEY Please. Arenāt I a little more than a substitute by now, Ms. Mullins. ROSALIE No. DEWEY Donāt you think kids can sometimes learn more outside the classroom? ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly. I can check, but there are safety issues parents have to be notified. Itās not usual school policy. Rosalie begins to exit.
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DEWEY You know what? Forget I said anything. Weāll talk about this later. He leaves the staff room. 14. IN THE END OF TIME (BAND PRACTICE) SCENE TEN HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM Dewey slides in on his knees as the class plays In the End of Time. He picks up the vocal as he comes to a stop. DEWEY āCos youāre not hard-core SHONELLE & MARCY No youāre not hardcore DEWEY Unless you live hardcore ā SHONELLE & MARCY Unless you live hardcore DEWEY But the legend of the rent Was way hard-core! The band stops. FREDDY Are we really going to goof off like this for the rest of the semester? DEWEY We are not goofing off, Freddy. We are creating musical fusion, we are forging rock and roll! Now listen, everyone ā today is the last day to qualify for the Battle of the Bands. We only get one shot at it, so we have to blow them out of the water. Freddy that was awesome, youāre rocking. But it was a little sloppy-joe. Tighten up the screws, OK? FREDDY Sure.
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DEWEY Katie. That was awesome! Zack. Dude. Whatās up with the stiffness, man? Youāre looking a little ro-bo-tro-nic. Letās grease up the hinges, and loosey-goosey, baby, loosey-goosey. ZACK Iām just playing it the way you told me. DEWEY And you know what? Itās perfect. But the thing is, Zack, rock is not about being perfect! It isnāt about the rules. It isnāt about getting Aās, Summer. Who can tell me what rock is about? MASON Scoring chicks? DEWEY No. Marcy? MARCY Getting drunk? DEWEY Nooooo! Havenāt I taught you anything? Rock and roll is all about sticking it to the Man! SUMMER Why canāt it be a woman? DEWEY OK, Summer, I grant you: The Man can be a woman. The point Iām trying to make is that the world is full of things that make you angry. Billy! What really makes you angry? BILLY When my Mum gets too much Botox, I canāt tell if sheās happy. 15. STICK IT TO THE MAN DEWEY OK, not really my point, but what Iām saying is, the Man makes the rules. Heās the one that keeps you down. How does that make you feel? ZACK Angry.
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DEWEY Right! When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist When the way youāre feeling Has got you good and miffed Thereās been one solution Since the world began ā Donāt just sit and take it Stick it to the man! Rant and rave And scream and shout Get all of your aggression out They try to stop you Let āem know Exactly where they all can go ā And do it just as loudly as you can ā Stick it to the man! If you wanna rock, youāve gotta get mad at the Man! Right now, Iām your teacher so Iām the Man. So go ahead, stick it to me. ZACK Shut up, Schneebly. DEWEY Itās a start. Anyone else? FREDDY Sit down, Dumb ass! DEWEY Getting better. Whoās next? SUMMER Youāre the worst teacher I ever had. DEWEY Very good, Summer. SUMMER The only difference is, I mean it.
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DEWEY Ouch! Next! LAWRENCE You are dull and stupid and boring and ā DEWEY All right! Thatās it! Before we go somewhere we regret! So are you all feeling ticked off? PUPILS Yeah! DEWEY Then what makes you more angry than anything else in the world? Katie? KATIE Beingā¦ over-scheduled? PUPILS Yeah! DEWEY Parents overwork ya? Stick it to the man! What else? You, Freddy? FREDDY All the pressure. DEWEY Good one. Hate the way they jerk ya? FREDDY Stick it to the man! DEWEY Yes! Youāre getting it! What ticks you off, Zack? ZACK When my Dad doesnāt pay attention to me.
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DEWEY Mad that they ignore ya ZACK Stick it to the man! DEWEY Hereās the answer for ya. ZACK, FREDDY & KATIE Stick it to the man! DEWEY Stand up to the system PUPILS Stick it to the man! DEWEY Rise up and resist āem PUPILS Stick it to the man! FREDDY Break the rules Ignore the signs! MARCY And colour way outside the lines! LAWRENCE Go off the script Do whatcha like! SUMMER They take it, they can take a hike DEWEY Why live your life to someone elseās plan PUPILS & DEWEY Stick it to the man! DEWEY If youāre feeling angry, then put some of it into your music!
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Zack plays a fiery guitar solo. DEWEY Lawrence! Hit me with some rebellion! Lawrence plays a keyboard-pounding solo. DEWEY Go ahead, all of you, get it off your chests. JAMES Family shopping sessions PUPILS Stick it to the man! DEWEY Yes! SHONELLE Parents all up in your Facebook! PUPILS Stick it to the man! DEWEY Boo-ya! BILLY Gluten-free snack foods! PUPILS Stick it to the man! DEWEY Right on! SUMMER Unrealistic and idealised images of female beauty in our corrupt modern media! DEWEY Why not?
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PUPILS Stick it to the man! DEWEY Boom! PUPILS Rock the house and make a scene And crank the amps to seventeen And scream until their ears are shot ā They all can kiss your you-know what! DEWEY Do everything theyāve ever tried to ban! PUPILS Stick it to the man! BILLY Mr Schneebly, youāre an ugly fat loser and you have body odour. DEWEY Weāve done that bit, Billy. Itās finished. Weāve moved on. BILLY Youāre tacky and I hate you. DEWEY Billy, take a lap. Okay guys, we need a name for our band! Katie! KATIE How about the Koala Bears? DEWEY Noooooo! Mason? MASON The Animals? DEWEY Itās been done. Billy? BILLY Pigās Rectum?
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DEWEY Billy. Weāve got to talk. Marcy and Shonelle have been whispering together. SHONELLE We think we have it, Mr. Schneebly. DEWEY Hit me. MARCY & SHONELLE The School of Rock Music stops. DEWEY The School of Rock. And we shall teach rock to the worldā¦! Thereās no way you can stop The School of Rock! PUPILS Yeah! PUPILS & DEWEY When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist When the way youāre feeling Has got you good and miffed Thereās been one solution Since the world began ā Donāt just sit and take it Stick it to the man! Rant and rave And scream and shout Get all of your aggression out They try to stop you Let āem know Exactly where they all can go ā And do it just as loudly as you can ā
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Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! JAMES Mullins is on the move! DEWEY Alright! Everyone get into positions! Quickly, they hide the instruments. Ms. Mullins appears. DEWEY And lo. That wooden toothed salty haired George Jefferson Washington crossed the Delaware and gave us forever the festival of Thanksgiving. Oh Ms. Mullins! ROSALIE Good Afternoon, class. PUPILS Good Afternoon, Ms. Mullins. ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly, may I have a word? You were asking about a possible field trip for your class. DEWEY They have to qualify first, but thatāll be figured out this afternoon. ROSALIE Qualify? Even the pupils know Dewey has made a mistake. He thinks hard. DEWEY For the field trip. ROSALIE I was not aware that students have to qualify for a field trip. DEWEY This one is kind of unusual.
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ROSALIE In what way? DEWEY Because of the unusualā¦ fields. ROSALIE Well, anyway, Iāve checked and I was right. Thereās an insurance problem. As I said, youāre only a substitute and substitutes donāt take field trips. And, before you ask, there are no exceptions. She leaves the room. SUMMER Well, thatās that. DEWEY Thatās what? He looks around the class. DEWEY Right. We gotta hustle. Is everyone ready? ZACK Ready for what? DEWEY Ready to qualify. MARCY But how are we going to qualify if we canāt leave the school? DEWEY What do you mean we canāt leave? SHONELLE Didnāt Ms. Mullins just say no? DEWEY Oh, that! Donāt listen to her! Gather around. When the bell rings for gym, which is pointless, weāll get the instruments into the van and go, on my signal. Weāll be back before anyone notices.
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FREDDY But then what? ZACK What happens if we qualify? DEWEY If we qualify? IF? As a wise prophet once told me: we are the champions, my friends. Now letās pack it up! We donāt have a lot of time! 15A. THEREāS NO WAY YOU CAN STOP (TRANSITION) SCENE ELEVEN HORACE GREEN Dewey enters and sneaks across the floor as Sheinkopfās appears. Once the coast is clear, he tries to whistle but fails. DEWEY (Calling like a bird) Ay-yah!! Ay-yaaahh! Zack pokes his head out from the door? ZACK Is that the signal? DEWEY Yes! Come on! 15B. MT ROCK ā THE ESCAPE Dewey and the pupils sneak through the halls of Horace Green, dodging teachers along the way. The pupils carry their instruments. They escape without being seen.
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SCENE TWELVE THE PALACE THEATRE ā BACKSTAGE MASON Weāre late. You should have driven faster. DEWEY Not with all of you in the van. SUMMER Careful, Mr. Schneebly. Youāre starting to sound responsible. DEWEY Remind me why youāre here? SUMMER Iām the manager. Weāre booking our first show. Where else would I be? DEWEY Thatās fair. ZACK I thought we were playing against other schools. DEWEY Later. First, we go up against the big boys. MARCY Theyāre gonna laugh at us. DEWEY I donāt understand. Why would they? ZACK Because we donāt know what weāre doing? LAWRENCE Because we donāt look like rock stars. We look like geeks. DEWEY Now, listen! What youāve got is what everyone wants, and thatās talent! And as for looking like a rock star, did Mama Cass look like a rock star? She weighed three hundred pounds but when she was on stage, people worshipped her! She was a goddess!
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SUMMER What happened to her? DEWEY She choked to death on a ham sandwich. But thatās not the point. LAWRENCE What is the point, Mr. Schneebly? DEWEY Let me put it like this: If we donāt make the cut, we donāt play in The Battle. If we miss The Battle, our project is shot. You wonāt get into Harvard and weāll all be failures. But no pressure. SUMMER You heard him. Letās get set up. An official is standing on stage, looking at his watch. DEWEY Iām trying to find Jeff Sanderson. JEFF I am he. DEWEY They said youāre in charge here? JEFF I was in charge. DEWEY What do you mean? JEFF The auditions have finished. We only had a couple to see this morning. That one was the last and now the bill is filled. He catches sight of the children. JEFF Who are they? DEWEY My band.
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JEFF Kids? Is this some kind of gimmick? DEWEY No, itās not a gimmick. I know theyāre kids but theyāre awesome. Just listen. JEFF Iām sorry. I donāt have time. I have to go. Better luck next year. SUMMER There wonāt be a next year. JEFF What? SUMMER There wonāt be a next year for us, any of us, will there, Mr. Schneebly? She looks sternly at Dewey and whispers. DEWEY Sheās right, Jeff. I can call you Jeff, right? Of course I understand you need to have rules, and if it wasnāt for the fact that the Battle of the Bands has been keeping these kids alive, I ā JEFF What do you mean? DEWEY You see, the kids have a condition ā JEFF What condition? DEWEY Erā¦ SUMMER A rare blood disorder. Stikkitu Demanus. JEFF Thatās terrible. DEWEY You know the Yoda Hospice for Children Out of Luck?
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JEFF I donāt think so. DEWEY Itās a good place, Jeff, and the people there are good people. But they canāt work miracles, Jeff. I only wish they could. Summer gestures at the kids are now drooping over their instruments. DEWEY Still, what the hell. The dream of this contest has given them a few extra, stolen weeks, which canāt be bad. Thank you for that, at least, Jeff. Thank you. All right, letās go get you guys back. He starts to walk off stage, then he stops and turns. DEWEY Unless youād just listen to them? So they havenāt made the journey for nothing? JEFF I donāt knowā¦ SUMMER Hit it, kids! 16. IN THE END OF TIME (THE AUDITION) DEWEY One. Two. Three. āCos youāre not hardcore MARCY & SHONELL No youāre not hardcore DEWEY Unless you live hardcore MARCY & SHONELLE Unless you live hardcore
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DEWEY Cāmon Jeff, help these kids And be hardcore Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! JEFF All right. I surrender. Youāre in. 17. STICK IT TO THE MAN (REPRISE) DEWEY Oh my you guys weāre in the Battle of the Bands! Thereās no way you can stop The School of Rock PUPILS Yeah! PUPILS & DEWEY When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist When the way youāre treated Has got you good and miffed Rant and rave And scream and shout Get all of your aggression out They try to stop you Let āem know Exactly where they all can go DEWEY And do it just as loudly as you can ā PUPILS & DEWEY Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Blackout. END OF ACT ONE.
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ACT TWO SCENE ONE HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM 18. TIME TO PLAY Pupils begin piling into the classroom. Summer is standing on a box and writing ā36 hoursā on the board. When finished, she leaps to the ground. SUMMER All right! Everybody hurry up and take your seats. Until Mr. Schneebly gets back from the staff meeting, I am in charge! FREDDY Says who? SUMMER Says me. The Band Manager! Get it? Hey! Aināt got all day! Get moving! Summer points to the board. SUMMER Only 36 hours till the battle! She points at James. SUMMER You! No one comes through That door! JAMES On it. Security! Roll out!
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SUMMER No distractions, no delays ā This is for our resumes! So ā Itās time to go Hardcore. No talk, no gum smacking Cell phones away Go punk or start packing Get to work Itās time to play! Wake up, stop day-dreaming Do as I say Get those guitars screaming Clear the room Itās time to play! Summer turns to Mason. SUMMER You! Go on and cue The light board. MASON Fade down to three, then back up to seven. We see the lighting effects. Summer turns to Marcy and Shonelle. SUMMER You ā Show them the new Hot move MARCY & SHONELLE Right! A-five, six, seven, eight ā SUMMER Look rebellious Act more crude Bring your best bad attitude.
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Band Get ready and ā Letās groove! MARCY & SHONELLE Hips out and heads banginā ā SUMMER Work that sashay! Now bring the whole gang in ā Hustle up Itās time to play! PUPILS Hands high and fights pumping ā Skills on display. Letās get this joint jumpinā! Bring it on Itās time to play! Summer now strides through the room, clipboard in hand. SUMMER (To Madison) Has the microphone been tested? MADISON Check. SUMMER What about the stand? MADISON Check. SUMMER Place it as requested And await my next command. (To Mason) Are the pyrotechnics ready? MASON Check.
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SUMMER (To Marcy) And synced to the routine? MARCY Check. SUMMER Iām counting on you, Sophie ā Donāt mess up the fog machine. SOPHIE Duh. SUMMER Whoās got the speaker cable? Come on, this isnāt hard. SOPHIE Iām ordering it! SUMMER Get extra if youāre able ā Put it on your motherās card. SOPHIE Right. SUMMER (To Katie) What about the song list? Printed like I said? KATIE Uhhhā¦ SUMMER If youāve bought the wrong list I swear to God, youāre dead. (To Zack) Got the flanger? ZACK Yup.
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SUMMER The phaser? ZACK Yup. SUMMER The pedals and effects? ZACK Yep. SUMMER (To Katie) Make sure he remembers Or Iām breaking both your necks. KATIE Sure. SUMMER (To Marcy & Shonelle) Keep your voices rested Warm up before you sing. MARCY & SHONELLE Right! SUMMER Iām of course prepared And so thereās one more thingā¦ (To Billy) You! Can we review The costumes? BILLY Iām still working out some looksā¦ SUMMER Jeez! Donāt be a tease! Letās go!
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BILLY Iām thinking a grunge-punk-glam kind of thingā¦ SUMMER Look we donāt have time to waste While you try to find some taste. BILLY Fine! Hereās the design. Lawrence pops out dressed like a glam rock star. SUMMER Urgh, no! BILLY Iāll ditch the sequins! He storms off in a huff. PUPILS Amps cranked and drums beating Donāt stop halfway Letās leave some ears bleeding Turn it up ā Itās time to play! Donāt slack, thereās no cruising No way, Jose! SUMMER This band is not losing! PUPILS Bring the noise ā Itās time to play! Rock the mics! Itās time to play! World watch out! SUMMER Itās time to play! PUPILS World watch out: Itās time to play!
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SUMMER Letās go! 18A. TIME TO PLAY PLAYOUT SCENE TWO HORACE GREEN ā THE STAFF ROOM DEWEY Does anyone know what this meeting is about? GABE BROWN No idea. DEWEY Itās not like I have anywhere else to be. ROSALIE Good afternoon, everyone. TEACHERS Good afternoon, Ms. Mullins. ROSALIE Iām not going to keep you. I just wanted to be sure you had your presentations ready for tomorrow. DEWEY Whatās tomorrow? He sips some water. ROSALIE The Parentsā Meeting. Dewey spits out the water. ROSALIE Is there a problem, Mr. Schneebly? DEWEY No.
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ROSALIE Good. The parents will need to see how their children are progressing, so youāll need to prepare a few subject breakdowns, some paperwork that your pupils have completed in class ā DEWEY I love to meet the parents! Iām so interested in their opinions of my work! Just one thing. How long will it take? ROSALIE They come when school finishes and they leave around seven. Why? DEWEY No reason, no reason. I have something planned for later on, but Iām sure weāll be done in time. ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly, Parentsā night is very important to me. They must walk away with a smile on their faces. They are my employers and they are your employers. We have to please them. Rosalie talks to the rest of the room. Iām not going to hold you up any more. You have a busy afternoon ahead. Rosalie exits. DEWEY Wow. She needs a good defrosting. GABE BROWN Ahhh --- Sheās not always the way she is at Horace Green. MS. SHEINKOPF Iāll say! Remember at the teachersā convention when she was singing Dreams at the top of her lungs? DEWEY Fleetwood Mac, huh. GABE BROWN Sheās a big fan of Stevie Nicks. DEWEY Wow. Rosalie the Rock Chick is into Stevie Nicksā¦ good to know.
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18B. YOUāRE IN THE BAND (SCENE CHANGE) SCENE THREE HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM SUMMER What was the meeting about? DEWEY I donāt know. Parentsā Night. SUMMER Parentsā Night?? DEWEY They want to see your written work and the projects youāve completed. ZACK What written work? KATIE What completed projects? Dewey shrugs. SUMMER What are you going to do? DEWEY I donāt know. What would you do, Summer? Youāre the one with the brains around here. SUMMER I donāt know. Youāre the teacher! ZACK If our parents are coming tomorrow we wonāt be able to get away for the Battle of the Bands. DEWEY Donāt worry. Iām working on it. SUMMER But how? Itās just not possible.
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MARCY Well, itās got to be. DEWEY Yes! Itās gotta be and it will be. We just need to come up with a plan. Any ideas? Pupils bombard Dewey with ideas. Tomika raises her hand. DEWEY Whoa! Hold on. Tomika has something to say. Front and centre. Whatās up? TOMIKA I just wishā¦ DEWEY Tomika, I know youāre shy, but Iām not a mind-reader. TOMIKA I wish I was in the band. DEWEY I wish you were too, butā¦ do you play an instrument? TOMIKA No. MARCY You didnāt want to sing. TOMIKA I do. You asked me to be a back-up but Iām a singer, not a back-up. DEWEY Itās just a little too late for that, Tomika. Dewey sighs. DEWEY OK. If you sing something maybe I can make you a singer. But I canāt make you a singer unless you can sing. He waits for her to sing.
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DEWEY Thatās OK, donāt worry about it. Alright, whoās got an idea? 19. AMAZING GRACE TOMIKA Amazing Grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost, but now Iām found! Was blind, but now I see. They are all in shock! She is a genius. The pupils cheer! Dewey nods. DEWEY I always knew there was something inside you, now we know what it is. Pure magic. Youāre in the band! Letās hear it for Tomika! PUPILS (Cheers) TOMIKA! TOMIKA! TOMIKA! JAMES Red alert! Itās Mullins. Every pupil runs to their seat. Dewey pulls out a sign with E=MC2 on it. DEWEY Therefore, E equals MC squared. PUPILS Ahhhh. DEWEY Oh. Ms. Mullins. Come in, come in! ROSALIE Iām sorry to interrupt, only Ms. Sheinkopf thought she heard music coming from this classroom again. DEWEY I havenāt heard any music.
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ROSALIE Whatās this? Points to a guitar. DEWEY Iāve got it! Sheinkopf must have heard us learning in sing-song! ROSALIE One of your methods? DEWEY I find it very useful for teaching really boring subjects. ROSALIE We donāt acknowledge there are any boring subjects at Horace Green. DEWEY Slightly boring? ROSALIE You donāt mind if I sit in on your class this afternoon, do you? DEWEY Sure. Come on back this afternoon. ROSALIE It is the afternoon, Mr. Schneebly. I meant now. Please continue with your method. She sits. Dewey singsā¦ 20. MATH IS A WONDERFUL THING DEWEY Math is a wonderful thing Math is a really cool thing So get off your ath and letās do math Math, math, math, math, math. Forty-two divided by six is ā Katie and others raise their hands. Katie!
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KATIE Seven. DEWEY And fifty-five divided by five is ā Madison? MADISON Eleven. DEWEY Very good. And seventy-four is sixty-five more than ā What is that number, Summer? SUMMER Nine. DEWEY No, itās eight. SUMMER No its nine. DEWEY Oh, yes, I know. I was just testing you. Itās nine. And thatās a magic number! The bell rings. DEWEY Donāt forget your homework! Remember! Tomorrow we begin on the rhythm of Logarithms! But first we sing the key points in the life of President Grant! Go, go, go! The pupils leave. ROSALIE Your methods are certainly very unusual, Mr. Schneebly.
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DEWEY Funny. They donāt seem unusual to me, but then I did study under Errol von Strossen Bergen Baker. ROSALIE Well, Mr. Schneebly, let me be clear: We are not interested in experimental philosophy here at Horace Green. Music is for music class; math is for math class. Got it? DEWEY Got it. Do you want to grab a drink? ROSALIE Excuse me? DEWEY Like a coffee? ROSALIE Youāre asking me to go for a coffee with you? DEWEY I guess I am. The bell rang. Schoolās out for the day. What do you say? ROSALIE I have things to do. DEWEY What kind of things? ROSALIE Principal kind of things. DEWEY Okay, after that meet me at The Roadhouse. ROSALIE The Roadhouse? The dive bar? DEWEY So you know it! ROSALIE Yes.
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DEWEY The Roadhouse then! ROSALIE The Roadhouse? DEWEY At seven. ROSALIE At seven? DEWEY Great! Itās a date! Dismissed! 20A. TIME TO PLAY UNDERSCORE (THE ROADHOUSE) Rosalie goes, confused and nodding. SCENE FOUR THE ROADHOUSE Dewey brings Rosalie a beer. ROSALIE Are you sure they donāt have any coffee? DEWEY Hm? ROSALIE No coffee? DEWEY Strange, isnāt it? ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly, Iāve been thinking ā DEWEY I wish youād call me Dewey. ROSALIE Why would I call you Dewey?
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DEWEY Ned! Deweyās my other name. My middle name. Ned Dewey Schneebly. Dewey goes to the jukebox. Edge of Seventeen begins playing. ROSALIE You know this is the first time a teacher has ever asked me to do something outside of school. DEWEY Really? ROSALIE Itās true. Not in six years. DEWEY I bet theyāre just intimidated. ROSALIE Itās not that. They hate me. DEWEY They do not. Rosalie, enraptured by the song, finds moments to sing along through the following: ROSALIE Yes, they do OOH OOH. You know, I was fun once. Funny even. But you canāt be funny and a Principal because when it comes to their kids, people have nooo sense of humour. DEWEY Youād think thatās when it matters the most. ROSALIE I know, but NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! But Iāve got to be perfect. And ā Iām not kidding ā that pressure has turned me intoā¦ Well, you know what itās turned me into. I love this song!
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DEWEY Wait. You love Stevie Nicks? ROSALIE I love Stevie Nicks! (sings) Eyes on himā¦ SEVENTEEN! DEWEY Itās like a religion for me. 21. WHERE DID THE ROCK GO INTRO ROSALIE & DEWEY Just like the white winged dove Sings a song sounds like sheās singinā Ooh ROSALIE Baby ROSALIE & DEWEY Ooh ROSALIE Say ROSALIE & DEWEY Ooh DEWEY Have you seen her live? ROSALIE Yes!! She sang here in town once. I will never forget it. DEWEY This is such a coincidence! Weāre like one person, Rosalie Mullins. I love Stevie Nicks ā You love Stevie Nicks. ROSALIE Yes!!
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DEWEY I love freedom ā You love freedom! ROSALIE I do! I do love freedom! DEWEY I knew it! I knew it the first time I saw you. ROSALIE You did? DEWEY Immediately. I could tell deep inside you are just like me There is music inside you, most definitely ā And you keep it locked up when it really should be in flight Just like tonightā¦ Well am I right? ROSALIE Yeah, youāre right. 22. WHERE DID THE ROCK GO? ROSALIE Back when I was younger Wild and bold and free I can still remember How the music used to be. Chords like rolling thunder ā Loud beyond control ā Evāry note and lyric Branded right across my soul ā Where did the rock go? Whereās the rush of those electric guitars? Where are all those voices raised to heaven Blazing down like shooting stars? Tell me Where is the passion? Whereās the rattle and the roar and the buzz? Where do last yearās one-hit-wonders go to? And what happened to the girl I was?
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Somehow I got older Year by busy year Guess the songs kept playing But I didnāt stop to hear All that youthful swagger Turned to grown-up doubt And the world spun like a record But the music faded outā¦ Where did the rock go? Whereās the pounding of the drums in my veins? When did all the static fill the airwaves? When itās gone, then what remains? Tell me Where did the time go? Whereās the joy I used to know way back when? Whereās the power and the beauty And the frenzy and the rapture? Whereās the magic of the moments Only rock could ever capture? Now the only thing Iām hearing Are the echoes disappearing ā Sorry for the outburst Please, Iāll be OK. Letās keep this our secret ā Whoād believe it, anyway? Weāll pretend it never happened File it, and forget Still ā Thanks for the reminder That thereās music in me yet ā I have to go. DEWEY Rosalie. Youāre sure about this field trip? I mean it would be so great for these kids. ROSALIE What is it? DEWEY A concert. Tomorrow night. It would be like you seeing Stevie for the first time. I think that would be such an awesome experience for them.
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ROSALIE It would be awesome. But, would it be educational? DEWEY It would be an education they would never forget. ROSALIE OK. Help me send those parents home happy tomorrow night and Iāll see if the school can make an exception. Deal? DEWEY Deal. Goodnight Ms. Mullins. ROSALIE Goodnight, Mr. Schneebly. Where did the rock go? All of those feelings that Iāve learned to ignore? If you flip the record and start over Does it sound the way it did beforeā¦? Where did the rock go? 22A. WHERE DID THE ROCK GO PLAYOUT SCENE FIVE THE APARTMENT NED Any plans today? DEWEY Huge plans, Ned. Huge plans. Also, listen, Iām gonna be home really late tonight, so donāt wait up for me. NED Oh, I wonāt. Iām taking Patty to Applebeeās. Patty enters carrying the mail. PATTY Neddy Neddy Ned! You got a letter from Horace Green? NED Really?
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PATTY You never told me you sent in your resume. NED They never answered. PATTY Well, theyāve answered now! You deserve this, Ned. You deserve the best! Dewey freezes. NED Whoa. Why would Horace Green pay me two thousand six hundred dollars? PATTY What? Why? Youāve never worked there. DEWEY Sure he did! He just forgot! NED I think I would remember if Iād worked at Horace Green. Dewey laughs nervously. PATTY Theyāve mixed up two letters. But they must want you for an interview. Call them! I have to go to work. Iām so proud of my Neddy bear! Call them. As she exits. PATTY Now! NED Oh, you mean now. Ned searches for his phone is his pocket. Dewey reaches for the check. NED Have you seen my phone?
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DEWEY Yes. In your room. Ned exits. Dewey reaches over the couch for the check. Ned re-enters. NED What are you doing? DEWEY Nothing. NED Youāve got my letter. DEWEY Yep. NED Give it back to me, I need to call them. DEWEY Why? Canāt you use the money? NED Itās not mine, Dewey. I didnāt earn it. DEWEY So itās like a bonus. Spend it! NED And wind up in court for stealing? I donāt think so! Ned snatches the letter and heads for the door. DEWEY I said to make it out to cash! Ned starts to panic. Unsure of what to do, he begins to breathe into a rubber glove. DEWEY Ned! Wait, sit! Breathe. Would you believe me if I told you Iād done a bad thing?
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NED Oh, so easily. So very easily. DEWEY You know Iām not the sort of guy whoād take advantage of his friends. NED Only because you havenāt got any friends. DEWEY I promise youād have done the same if you were me. If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Patty? 22B. MT ROCK UNDERSCORE NED Sure. DEWEY Donāt be like āsureā like that. Itās not sure. Itās not even likely. Sheās stronger than either of us. Sheās stronger than Washington. Sheās stronger than the sea. NED I said I wonāt tell her. So I wonāt tell her. SCENE SIX HORACE GREEN ROSALIE Do we have enough refreshments? MS SHEINKOPF Tea and coffee, ready to go. DEWEY Rosalie. I had a great time last night. ROSALIE Ms. Mullins! Mr Schneebly. I think I should be āMs. Mullinsā when weāre here at Horace Green and you should be āMr. Schneeblyā here at Horace Greenā¦ Sheinkopf exits.
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ROSALIE But thank you for last night. DEWEY And Iām still taking the kids to the concert tonight? ROSALIE Yes, the school will make an exception if the parents go home happy. I cannot stress enough how important Parentsā Night is, Mr. Schneebly. DEWEY Got it. ROSALIE Iād better get ready. Theyāll be here any minute. Rosalie goes to leaveā¦ DEWEY Hey. Youāre going to be awesome. SCENE SEVEN HORACE GREEN ā THE CLASSROOM Pupils are hanging signs up for parentsā night and examples of their āworkā. Zack sits on a desk with his guitar, writing on a sheet of paper. DEWEY Iāve ordered the school bus for tonight. SUMMER And we really have permission? DEWEY I told you. We have permission to go to our concert. Excuse me? Billy enters with a garish sequined costume. Dewey stops dead. BILLY What do you think?
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DEWEY What? Did I lose a competition? BILLY Itās glitter rock. Itās glam, itās fabulous. Have you no vision? DEWEY I have twenty/twenty vision. I have seen salads dressed better than this. This is not my style. BILLY You talk to me about style? You canāt even dress yourself. You wear the same ugly clothes every day. Fine. I give up. They can just wear their uniforms. 23. SCHOOL OF ROCK (PART 1 ā ZACK) Zack begins playing what he has been writing down. DEWEY Thatās not a bad idea. BILLY Not a bad idea? I was kidding. DEWEY Hey, what is that? No, donāt stop. ZACK Itās nothing. Itās just an idea I was fooling around with. DEWEY You wrote it? You wrote a song? Play it. I want to hear it. ZACK Iām not much of a singer. DEWEY Play it. ZACK Baby we were makinā straight As But we were stuck in a dumb daze Donāt take much to memorise your lies I feel like Iāve been hypnotised.
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DEWEY Itās great, Zack. ZACK You really like it? DEWEY I really like it because itās really good. Lawrence! Freddy! Katie! Rock positions, letās go. They run to their instruments. ZACK Wait, what are you doing? DEWEY Weāre going to learn your song. ZACK Why? DEWEY Thatās what bands do. You got lyrics? Zack hands him a piece of paper. DEWEY Uh-huh. What are the chords? 23A. TEACHERāS PET (PART 2 ā WITH THE BAND) ZACK (Demonstrating) Dā¦Cā¦Gā¦Cā¦ Baby we were makinā straight As But we were stuck in a dumb daze. DEWEY I love this!
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ZACK Donāt take much to memorise your lies I feel like Iāve been hypnotised. And if you wanna be the teacherās pet Baby, you just better forget it Rock is the reason Rock is the rhymeā¦ Dewey breaks off. DEWEY If itās cool with the writer, can we try something? Rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme. Is that cool? Great! Katie give me the face. Backup singers! We need some āooh la laāsā, so like Ohh! La la la Ooh! La la la And make up some funky dance moves. (To Freddy) Letās take it from the chorus. Count me in! FREDDY (Drummer) 1.. 2..3! ZACK & DEWEY And if you wanna be the teacherās pet Baby, you just better forget it Rock got no reason Rock got no rhyme You better get me to school on time. Backup singers (āOoh! La la la!ā, etc.) And if you wanna be the teacherās pet Baby, you just better forget it Rock got no reason Rock got no rhyme You better get me to school on time. Dewey starts a solo. The noise buildsā¦
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ROSALIE Mr. Schneebly? Mr. Schneebly! MR SCHNEEBLY! May I introduce you to the parents of your class? MR MOONEYHAM What is it with this music? Zack is not a smart kid. He doesnāt have time to waste on music, music, music. He needs all the studying he can get! Now he says when he grows up he wants to be a musician! DEWEY I donāt think that would be so ā MR WILLIAMS Tomikaās the same! Singing and listening and singing some more? But whatās she learning? MRS TURNER Lawrenceās head is stuffed with keyboards! He wonāt talk or think about anything else! MRS HATHAWAY Summer tells me they donāt work! They never work! They just sit around and play music! MARCY Mr. Schneebly, donāt you think you should just tell them about the Battle of the Bands. MR SPENCER What Battle of the Bands? DEWEY OK. OK. Everybody sit down, I will explain everything. Welcome to Parentsā Night! Hello, I am Ned Schneebly, Mrs. Dunhamās substitute. Look. Over the last few weeks Iāve gotten to know your kids. Your kids. Zack. You say that he isnāt smart. Are you crazy? Heās an incredible guitarist and mind. You should hear him play. Heās the next Hendrix. Freddy and Katie can jam with the best of them. But more importantly, since they picked up these instruments, they have grown so much. Iāve seen it! Theyāre great, great kids.
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(To Mrs. Turner) You! You say Lawrence plays keyboards all day. Well why shouldnāt he?! Heās insane! Heās going to go down in the rock record books. Marcy and Shonelle have the voices of angels. I worship every note that comes out of their mouths. And Tomika? Tomika is a star. And donāt even get me started on Summer. Summer will be the first woman President of the United States. The truth is, they are all really cool kids. If they were mine, Iād be so proud. I am proud. Patty bursts into the room with Ned. PATTY Heās an imposter! DEWEY Ned? You told Patty? NED She got it out of me. Sorry. PATTY Donāt apologise. NED Sorry. MRS TRAVIS Who is this? MR MOONEYHAM What on Earth is going on? PATTY Iāll tell you what is going on. This is the real Ned Schneebly. And this loser is Dewey Finn! He is not even a teacher! He can barely read! DEWEY OK. Let me speak, let me speak, let me speak! 24. DEWEYāS CONFESSION
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DEWEY All right, yes I confess That my actual name is Dewey Finn. MRS HATHAWAY No! DEWEY Yes indeed! And although you should know Iām not licensed to teach I promise you I can read! PARENTS You! She had no clue! Where is he? How Could you allow ā Him past? Pupils quickly & quietly leave the room. PARENTS Fifty thousand bucks a year! How could he have happened here? Now Youāll tell us how ā And fast! ROSALIE People, please! Just calm down now, I implore you Thereās no need to be alarmed And I hasten to assure you That no children here were harmed. While this criminal intrusionās Unacceptable at best Letās not jump to quick conclusions Till the damage is assessed. If thereās anyone to blame here The faultās completely mine
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I am why he came here If I must, then Iāll resign. Now that Iāve got your attention I think we can move on ā LISTEN! Iām sorry to inform you that all of your children are missing! Parents go wild and run off to look for their children. Ms. Mullins is left alone. Ms. Sheinkopf appears, calling. MS SHEINKOPF Ms. Mullins! Ms. Mullins, do you know why the bus is in the parking lot? Rosalie sinks against the wall. ROSALIE I have no idea. Where are the parents? MS SHEINKOPF Still panicking and screaming that their children were in danger. ROSALIE You think Iāve been a fool. MS SHEINKOPF If youāre asking, I think you need to pull yourself together and take charge. You can do it. Youāre a strong woman and a good Principal, and I donāt want to hear any more self-doubt today. Rosalie looks at her, surprised. MS SHEINKOPF Now, Iāll see what I can do with the parents. Rosalie nods and Sheinkopf leaves. A child runs in. MS SHEINKOPF No running! The child stops. It is Mason.
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He stares at Rosalie. ROSALIE Mason, where are the other children? MASON I canāt stay! Theyāre waiting! I forgot my computer and Iām running the lights from it! ROSALIE Wait. You are not going anywhere, Mason. What lighting? What computer? Keeping who waiting? MASON Weāve got the instruments but we have to pick up Mr. Schneebly and then weāll compete in the Battle of the Bands! ROSALIE Mason, you do know he isnāt really Mr. Schneebly? Heās Mr. Finn. MASON Whatās the difference? Rosalie is stumped. What is the difference? MASON Weāre a good band, Ms. Mullins. Weāve worked so hard for this show. ROSALIE But heās not who he says he is! MASON Who cares?! He taught us that rock can set us free. We canāt fail him now! 24A. ROS & MASON U/S
MS SHEINKOPF (V.O.) Ms. Mullins, the parents are back and theyāre demanding a meeting right now! ROSALIE Go! Iāll handle this.
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MASON Youāre the best, Ms. Mullins! SCENE EIGHT THE APARTMENT Dewey sits with his head in his hands. Patty comes in with Ned. PATTY What are you doing here? DEWEY I donāt have any other place to go. PATTY Yeah, well find a place. DEWEY Look, all I was ā Patty holds up her hand to silence him. PATTY I donāt want to hear anything you have to say. I have never liked you and now you bring this mess on to our doorstep. Do you realise how serious it is? Weāre talking about children, Dewey! Young, vulnerable children! DEWEY But they were all ā PATTY Donāt you understand, you idiot? This is fraud! You can go to prison! What were you thinking? DEWEY I was just trying to pay the rent. PATTY Donāt you dare blame us! Youāre delusional! I donāt even feel safe with you around. Youāre sick! You should get help! NED Patty. Thatās enough.
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PATTY (To Ned) Iām going. And when I get back I want him out of here! She leaves and they are alone. NED Sheās right, Dewey. DEWEY Sheās a pain. NED She may be a pain, but sheās right. Youāve done some really messed up stuff, but this is unforgivable. Did you ever think about me? DEWEY Youāre not involved. NED Oh, no? I could lose my teaching license, Dewey. My license, the apartment. This could screw up my entire life. DEWEY Ned, Iām so sorry. NED Itās too late for that. I want you to move out. Go. Itās over. I loved playing music with you. It was the best time of my life, but maybe some people arenāt born to be rock stars. Did you ever think of that? 25. WHERE DID THE ROCK GO REPRISE He leaves. Summer, Zack, Lawrence, Katie, Tomika and Freddy run in. DEWEY What are you doing here? FREDDY Weāve come to get you! The bus is outside! DEWEY Listen. Iām a loser. Go back to school.
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ZACK Yeah, yeah. Didnāt you hear us? The bus is outside! Weāve gotta go! DEWEY But ā SUMMER Mr. Schneebly, you canāt give up now. DEWEY Mr. Schneebly?! Iāve lied to you! I used you! And worst of all, Iāve wasted your time! Just go back to your lives. Just go. They begin to protest but are interrupted by Tomika. 26. IF ONLY YOU WOULD LISTEN (REPRISE) TOMIKA I was lost Lost and in pain So much hurt bottled inside All the things I should have said I just kept trying to hide And I thought nobody could But youā¦ you understood. I needed to share And only you would listen Hoped someone would care And only you would listen You raised my voice up Taught me not to fear Iāve learned who I am Because youāre here. Look around ā See what youāve done? Canāt you tell how you came through And now you, you need someone So let us be there for you Donāt you know, weāll understand Because youāre, youāre in the band.
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LAWRENCE/KATIE/TOMIKA/FREDDY/ZACK/SUMMER We want you to stay If only you would listen We need you to play If only you would listen Now that weāve found you You canāt just disappear School wonāt be the same without you here. SUMMER I needed respect And only you would listen
LAWRENCE I needed a chance Only you would listen
ZACK I couldnāt connect And only you would listen
LAWRENCE & KATIE Just wanted one glance Only you.
TOMIKA You gave us voices Helped us make them clear. TOMIKA You gave us voices
PUPILS You gave us voices PUPILS Helped us make them clear TOMIKA Youāve taught us so much Since youāve been here PUPILS Youāve taught us so much Since youāve been here DEWEY I canāt. OTHER PUPILS (OFFSTAGE) When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist. DEWEY Whatās that?
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OTHER PUPILS (OFFSTAGE) When the way youāre treated Has got you good and miffed. SUMMER Your students. OTHER PUPILS (OFFSTAGE) Thereās been one solution Since the world began ā Donāt just sit and take it. ALL PUPILS Mr. Schneebly! Come on! Dewey pauses. DEWEY Stick it to the man! TOMIKA Rant and rave SUMMER And scream and shout FREDDY Get all of your aggression out KATIE & ZACK They try to stop you Let āem know LAWRENCE Exactly where they all can go ALL PUPILS Do everything they ever tried to ban And tell them where to stick their boring plan And do it just as loudly as you can!
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DEWEY Yes! And we shall teach rock to the world! Thereās no way you can stop The school of rock! Now get to the bus. The pupils cheer and exit. Suddenly, Patty hurries in. PATTY There is a bus full of singing kids blocking the driveway! What is going on? Ned arrives. DEWEY Iāll tell you what is going on! Iām going to the Battle of the Bands and you canāt stop me! He rushes out past Patty. PATTY Arenāt you going to do something? You never stand up to him. NED SHUT UP! Iām going to the show! SCENE NINE THE PALACE THEATRE ā ONSTAGE 27. IāM TOO HOT FOR YOU JEFF SANDERSON And now the Battle of the Bands welcomes to the stageā¦ āNo Vacancy!ā
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THEA Baby donāt feel sorry I know how hard you tried I guess some things they just Aināt meant to be. You wanna know what happened Just look me in the eye: Face it babe the answerās plain to see. Iām too hot for you I know itās so unfair Iām too hot for you And youāre just kinda there. Thought youād pass the test But youāre a six at best Iām too hot for you So we aināt got a prayer. NO VACANCY continues to perform as the class enters with instruments. We transition backstage. THE PALACE THEATRE ā BACKSTAGE JEFF Youāre late. DEWEY Weāre late but weāre here and this show isnāt over. JEFF Youāre on next. Be ready. Jeff walks off. Summer reads from her clipboard. SUMMER Lights? MASON All set when I connect to the main board. SUMMER Go. Hair, make up, costumes.
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BILLY Nearly there. Just some touch ups. DEWEY OK, now listen up. We only have one song to show them who we are, and I think it should be Zackās. ZACK What about your song? DEWEY You donāt get it. Youāre better than me, Zack. Youāre ten years old and youāre better than me. FREDDY But we donāt know it. Not like we know your song. LAWRENCE If we play it, we may not win. DEWEY Weāre not here to win. Weāre here to rock! Right. Tomika, youāre singing the solo. Now. Are you with me? PUPILS Yeah! He sticks his hand out and they put in theirs. DEWEY Now letās rock! PUPILS WOOO! BILLY Mr. Schneebly! DEWEY Dude, itās Dewey. BILLY Whatever. I almost forgot. This is your costume.
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DEWEY I donāt understand. BILLY Just put it on! Dewey takes it and leaves as a group of parents arrive, trying to push onto the stage but blocked by security guards. MR MOONEYHAM Zack! Get over here! SECURITY 1 Stand back! MR MOONEYHAM Thatās my son! What are you doing with that man? ZACK That man? You mean the man who made me feel I could achieve something? MR WILLIAMS (To Tomika) Why here? Why now? TOMIKA Iām part of the class for the first time! LAWRENCE Mum, Iāve never felt so cool before! But Iām in a real band! Iām one of the cool kids! MRS HATHAWAY Summer! Make them let us in! SECURITY 2 You have to get a ticket. MRS HATHAWAY Letās try around the front! All parents leave, apart from Mr. Mooneyham.
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MR MOONEYHAM Zack, Iām warning you ā ZACK You donāt get it, Dad. For once in your life, open your ears and listen! This is for us! For the kids! And youāre not taking it away! SECURITY 1 & 2 MOVE! JEFF SANDERSON And now, ladies and gentlemenā¦ THE PALACE THEATRE ā ONSTAGE JEFF SANDERSON THE SCHOOL OF ROCK! Some of the parents appear in the aisle. 28. SCHOOL OF ROCK (THE COMPETITION) DEWEY We are the School of Rock, and this song was written by our lead guitarist, Zack Mooneyham! MR MOONEYHAM Zack?! DEWEY Baby we were makinā straight As But we were stuck in a dumb daze Donāt take much to memorise your lies ā I feel like Iāve been hypnoticised. And then that magic man, he came to town ā Woo-eee! He done spun my head around He said recess is in session Two and two make five And now, baby, oh, Iām aliveā¦ Oh yeah, I am alive!
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And if you wanna be the teacherās pet Baby, you just better forget it Rock got no reason Rock got no rhyme You better get me to school on time. Backup singers (āOoh! La la la!ā, etc.) TOMIKA Oh, you know that I was on an honor roll ā Got good grades, but got no soul Raise my hand before I could speak my mind I been biting my tongue too many times. DEWEY And then that magic man said to obey ā TOMIKA Uh-huh! DEWEY Do what magic men do Not what magic men say. TOMIKA Say what? DEWEY Now can I please have the attention of the class? Todayās assignmentā¦ PUPILS Kick some ass! And if you wanna be the teacherās pet Baby, you just better forget it Rock got no reason Rock got no rhyme You better get me to school on time. Backup singers (āOoh! La la la!ā, etc.)
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DEWEY Ladies and Gentlemen! Lawrence on keys! Lawrence plays a keyboard solo. DEWEY This is my final exam Now you all know who I am I might not be that perfect son But yaāll be rockinā when Iām doneā¦ Zack Moneyham everyone! Zack plays a guitar solo. DEWEY We are the School of Rock! And Schoolā¦ isā¦ OUT! JEFF SANDERSON Give it up for the School of Rock! That concludes this yearās Battle of the Bands! We will give you the juryās verdict in just a moment! THE PALACE THEATRE ā BACKSTAGE MR WILLIAMS Tomika. That was amazing. MR SPENCER I told you youād make new friends. MR MOONEYHAM Zack. Come here. ZACK Are you mad at me? MR MOONEYHAM Mad? I love you, son. And I have never been more proud. Ned enters, dressed ready to rock! NED Dewey! DEWEY Ned?!
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NED Dewey! That was awesome. DEWEY You look incredible! NED Dewey. You did it! DEWEY It was all them. The two men celebrate as Rosalie joins them. DEWEY Hold on. I have to deal with something real quick. (To Rosalie) Hi. They came to my houseā¦ Patty runs in with a Policeman. PATTY There he is! Thatās the man! Take him! MR MOONEYHAM Is there a problem, officer? POLICEMAN Sir, Iām going to need you to come with me. MRS HATHAWAY What do you mean? This man has been the best teacher our kids have ever known. POLICEMAN Maāam? It has been reported that this teacher ā PATTY Teacher? Heās not a teacher at all! ROSALIE No, heās not a teacher. Rosalie pauses to think.
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ROSALIE Mr. Finn is our music coach and heās fully qualified for that. POLICEMAN It seems thereās been a mistake, Maāam. PATTY Now wait a minute ā POLICEMAN Think twice before you waste police time. He exits. NED Give it up, Patty. Itās over. PATTY Ned! She notices Nedās Rock-God clothes and melts. PATTY Ohhā¦ Ned! DEWEY You didnāt really mean that? About the music coach. ROSALIE I donāt know. Letās try it. Coaching after class. Because Iāll tell you this, Dewey Finn: I have never felt so cool in my life. JEFF SANDERSON And tonightās winner of the twenty thousand dollar first prize isā¦ No Vacancy! MRS TRAVIS What?! MR WILLIAMS Thatās disgraceful! MR MOONEYHAM I demand a recount!
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PARENTS SCHOOL OF ROCK! SCHOOL OF ROCK! DEWEY (To the pupils) Hey guys. Get over here. Listen up. No. Listen. Theyāre calling our name. Thatās what we came here for. Thatās rock and roll. And remember, no real rock star ever won anything! Iām proud of you guys, we did it. JEFF SANDERSON OK OK By popular demand, please welcome back to the stage, The School of Rock! THE PALACE THEATRE ā ONSTAGE 29. STICK IT TO THE MAN (COMPETITION ENCORE) ALL When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist When the way youāre feeling Has got you good and miffed Thereās been one solution Since the world began ā Donāt just sit and take it Stick it to the man! Rant and rave And scream and shout Get all of your aggression out They try to stop you Let āem know Exactly where they all can go ā And do it just as loudly as you can ā Stick it to the man! DEWEY One more time, itās Mr. Zack Mooneyham! Zack guitar solo. DEWEY And on keys, itās Lawrence Turner! Lawrence keyboard solo.
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DEWEY And the duchess of destruction ā Katie Travis on the bass! Katie bass solo DEWEY And on drums, itās Freddy Hamilton! Drum fill. ALL When the world has screwed you And crushed you in its fist When the way youāre feeling Has got you good and miffed. Rant and rave And scream and shout Get all of your aggression out They try to stop you Let āem know DEWEY Do everything they ever tried to ban. PUPILS Yeah! DEWEY And tell them where to stick their boring plan! PUPILS Yeah! DEWEY And do it just as loudly as you can! ALL Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man!
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DEWEY (To audience) Alright, are you having a good time? (Audience cheer) DEWEY Now, are you having a great time? (Audience cheer) 30. YOUāRE IN THE BAND (CURTAIN CALL) DEWEY Well good then. Letās close this sucker out. I want to introduce some very special people. Ladies and Gentlemen please put your hands together for No Vacancy and Jeff Sanderson! āNo vacancyā bow. Now give it up for the parents and teachers of Horace Green Prep. Teachers & Parents bow. DEWEY And we mustnāt forget the children, the demon rascals of Horace Green Prep. Pupil chorus bow. DEWEY And now my stylist, our band manager and miss sing herself! Billy, Summer and Tomika! Billy, Summer and Tomika bow. DEWEY And now I want to introduce you to my band: Katie on bass, Lawrence on keys, on drums itās Freddy and on lead guitar itās Zack Mooneyham! Katie, Lawrence, Freddy and Zack bow.
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DEWEY And now, the peanut butter to my jelly, my best friend Ned Schneebly and his fabulous girlfriend, Patty! Ned and Patty bow. DEWEY And now, the Queen of the Night herself. Principal of Horace Green. Itās Rosalie Mullins! Rosalie bows. 31. QUEEN OF THE NIGHT (ROCK VERSION) ROSALIE Ahhhh DEWEY Ba da bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup BAAHHH! ROSALIE Ahhhh Meine tochter nimmer mehr. DEWY Ba da bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup BAAHHH! ALL Ahhhh ROSALIE And now, the rock god of my heart and yours, Dewey Finn! Dewey bows. CURTAIN. FULL BOWS. THE END. 31. PLAYOUT
Last Update:July, 23rd 2025
School of Rock Lyrics: Song List
- Act 1
- I'm Too Hot for You
- When I Climb to the Top of Mount Rock
- Horace Green Alma Mater
- Here at Horace Green
- Variation 7 / Children of Rock
- Give Up Your Dreams
- Mount Rock (Reprise)
- Queen of the Night
- You're in the Band
- You're in the Band (Reprise)
- If Only You Would Listen
- In the End of Time (A Cappella Version)
- Faculty Quadrille
-
In the End of Time (Band Practice)
- Stick It to the Man
- In the End of Time (The Audition)
- Stick It to the Man (Reprise)
- Act 2
- Time to Play
- Amazing Grace
- Math Is a Wonderful Thing
- Where Did the Rock Go?
- School Of Rock (Teacher's Pet)
- Dewey's Confession
- Deweyās Bedroom
- If Only You Would Listen (Reprise)
- I'm Too Hot for You (Reprise)
- School of Rock
- Stick It to the Man (Encore)
- In the End of Time (Rock Version)
- Finale
- Medley