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I Am a Terrifying and Imposing Figure...!/Ballad of Guiteau

I Am a Terrifying and Imposing Figure...!/Ballad of Guiteau lyrics

I Am a Terrifying and Imposing Figure...!/Ballad of Guiteau

[GUITEAU]
Guess who?
(shots)
Did I surprise you?

[MOORE]
You scared me half to death

[GUITEAU]
I am a terrifying and imposing figure!
You know, you are a very handsome woman

[MOORE]
Thank you

[GUITEAU]
How would you like to be the wife of the ambassador to France?

[MOORE]
It would be nice

[GUITEAU]
Ohhh, let me steal a kiss

[MOORE]
I don't think so

[GUITEAU]
Ohh, just one little kiss

[MOORE]
Stop...

[GUITEAU]
A cold cat, 'ey?

[MOORE]
Let go of me!

[GUITEAU]
I want a kiss!

[MOORE]
Are you alright?

[GUITEAU]
I am more than alright-I am extraordinary. I am to be reckoned with! I am-the next ambassador to France!

[VOICE]
Your train is on track six, Mr. President

[GUITEAU]
President Garfield?

[GARFIELD]
Yes?

[GUITEAU]
I want to be the next ambassador to France!

[GARFIELD]
I'm sorry?

[GUITEAU]
I want to be ambassador to France

[GARFIELD]
Mad as a hatter *laughs*
(shots)

[GUITEAU]
(at the gallows)
I am going to the Lordy,
I am so glad.
I am going to the Lordy,
I am so glad.
I am going to the Lordy,
Glory Hallelujah!
Glory Hallelujah!
I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Come all ye Christians,
And hear from sinner:
Charlie Guiteau.
Bound and determined
He'd wind up a winner,
Charlie had dreams
That he wouldn't let go.
Said, "Nothing to it,
I want it, I'll do it,
I'm Charles J. Guiteau."

Charlie Guiteau
Never said "Never"
Or heard the word "No."
Faced with disaster,
His heart would beat faster,
His smile would just grow,
And he'd say:

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side,
Look on the bright side,
Sit on the right side
Of the lord.
This is the land of
Opportunity,
He is your lightning,
You his sword.

Wait till you see tomorrow,
Tomorrow you'll get you reward!
You can be sad
Or you can be President-
Look on the bright side...
I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Charlie Guiteau
Drew a crowd to his trial,
Led them in prayer,
Said, "I killed Garfield,
I'll make no denial.
I was just acting
for someone up there.
The Lord's my employer,
And now He's my lawyer,
So do what you dare."

Charlie said, "Hell,
If I am guilty,
Then God is as well."
But God was aquitted
And Charlie committed
Until he should hang.
Still, he sang:

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side,
Not on the black side.
Get off your backside,
Shine those shoes!

This is you golden
Opportunity:
You are the lightning
And you're news!

Wait till you see tomorrow,
Tomorrow you won't be ignored!
You could be pardoned,
You could be President-
Look on the bright side...
I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Charlie Guiteau
Had a crowd at the scaffold-

[GUITEAU]
I am so glad...

[BALLADEER]
-Filled up the square,
Som many people
That tickets were raffled.
Shine on his shoes
Charlie mounted the stair,
Said, "Never sorrow,
Just wait till tomorrow,
Today isn't fair.
Don't despair..."

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side,
Look on the bright side,
Sit on the right side...

Of the...

I am going to the Lordy,
I am so glad!
I am going to the Lordy,
I am so glad!
I have unified my party,
I have saved my country.

I shall be remembered!

I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Look on the bright side,
Not on the sad side,
Inside the bad side
Something's good!
This is you golden
Opportunity:
You've been a preacher-

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You've been an author-

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You've been a killer-

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You could be an angel_

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I could!

[BALLADEER]
Just wait until tomorrow,
Tomorrow they'll all climb aboard!
What if you never
Got to be President?
You'll be remembered-
Look on the bright side-
Trust in tomorrow-

[BOTH]
And the Lord!
Last Update: August, 17th 2016


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Musical: Assassins. Song: I Am a Terrifying and Imposing Figure...!/Ballad of Guiteau. Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes