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Musical: Wedding Singer
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SAMMY No one tells you how you ought to live No one glares when you do jello shooters GUYS Jello SAMMY No one says that you're insensitive cause her birthday meal took place at Hooters GUYS Hooters SAMMY No one tells you that your bald spot's grown Or that you ought to tone your flab GUYS Tone your flab SAMMY So pour a double gin Here's to your double chin ALL Yeah, start the party Start a tab SAMMY Cause you're ALL Single SAMMY You are ALL Single SAMMY And you'll keep staying single if you're smart GUYS If you are smart SAMMY Yeah, you're single You are single No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart GUYS Moonwalk on your heart SAMMY Trust me ALL This is when the good times really start SAMMY No one minds the laundry on your floor RICKY No one pouts with every chick you look at BUM No one tries to clean your porno drawer SAMMY No one traps you with SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM "Does my ass look fat?" GEORGE Bust a move in womens's underwear While you're blasting Cher or Wham GUYS Cher or Wham! SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM So fill your ranger's cup The toilet seat stays up The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam GEORGE Cause you're ALL Single GEORGE You are ALL Single GEORGE Not a care in the world can bother you GUYS Can bother you GEORGE You are single You are single You can do what you've always wanted to GUYS Always wanted to GEORGE Well, no commitments SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM Cause you're only passing through (rap) RICKY Yo, making a date with some needy girl Is a waste of my time and my Jheri Curl SAMMY I don't need a girl who don't understand When I got a date with my left hand BUM Well, I like the ladies, heaven knows But in the words in Nietzsche, "Bro's before Ho's" GEORGE Now, I don't like a girl who'll cry and bawl In fact, I never liked girls at all ROBBIE Sammy, George, Ricky and Bum I'm starting to see where you're coming from ROBBIE Cause I'm ALL Single ROBBIE Oh, yeah ALL Single ROBBIE I'll behave like a dude's meant to behave GUYS Meant to behave ROBBIE Always single Ever single Single now and till I'm in my grave ALL Single till I am lying in my grave SAMMY Though at times I might want someone to hold me tight And promise me that everything'll be all right (spoken) BUM Everything'll be all right. SAMMY Thanks, man. (sung) ALL I'll stay single till I'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave [Thanks to Chris Cowan for lyrics]
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