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Musical: Shrek
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FARQUAAD (spoken) My father simply couldn't accept that I wanted nothing to do with the family business...that lowly, dirty family business... (sung) My daddy was a miner So he wasn't much around Foraging for diamonds A life spent underground Daddy didn't talk much He barely said hello He'd simply mutter "Heigh ho" And off to work he'd go Daddy was grumpy... My momma was a princess Who left her crown behind Daddy was her true love, so Momma didn't mind I never knew my momma But she could've been a queen She married way beneath her... Beneath her knee, I mean Ohhh, daddy's bed was lumpy So mommy couldn't sleep Daddy built a new one So tall and so steep Twenty-five mattresses she slept upon One night she rolled over... And momma was gone So daddy was grumpy... Me and my old man A tale as old as dirt A bitter distant father In a tiny undershirt Daddy up and left me Left me good as dead Now he lives in squalor Sleeping seven to a bed (spoken) You abandoned me in those woods, daddy. Well I crawled out! And up! Oh, if only you could see me now, daddy... I'd invite you to the wedding but you have to be THIS tall to get in! Hahahahahaha! (sung) My bride-to-be is gorgeous Her wedding dress, designer The guest list will be major Without a minor miner Guards La la la la la la la la la la la la la FARQUAAD Packs of royal lackeys Playing violin GUARDS Strings of royal underlings FARQUAAD & (GUARDS) Who will not let you in! Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha! Tricked out carriage! (Tricked out carriage) Twenty stallions! (Twenty stallions) With a coachman named Raoul (With a coachman named Raoul) Big reception! (Big reception) With a boy band! (With a boy band) And a royal deejay by the pool... Yes! I can see my future And so it shall be done It's total domination With some torture just for fun, hee hee! 'Cause I will have my wedding And I will have a queen! And once I get that crown on You will get the guillotine And I'll punish you daddy 'Cause I'm all grown up And bigger than you'll ever know! You're gonna pay daddy! It's any day daddy! I'm off to work Heigh ho! [Thanks to Hector Moreno, Samantha for lyrics]
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