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Musical: Calamity Jane
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DORIS: In the Summer you're the Winter In the finger you're the splinter In the banquet you're the stew Say, I could do without you HOWARD: In the garden you're the gopher In the Levi's you're the loafer Like an overturned canoe Well, I can do without you DORIS: You can go to Philadelphia Take a hack to Hackensack Hey, I'll never ring a bell fer yer Or yell fer yer to come back HOWARD: In the question you're the why In the ointment you're the fly DORIS: Though I know some things are indispensible Like a buck or two If there's one thing I can do without I can do without you HOWARD: In the barrel you're a pickle In the goldmine you're a nickel You're the tack inside my shoe Yes, I can do without you DORIS: In my bosom you're a dagger You're a mangy carpetbagger In the theatre you're the 'boo' I can do without you HOWARD: You got charms, they ain't bewitchin' me You've a face no one would paint DORIS: I got the darndest itch in me To be wherever you ain't HOWARD: In the bullfrog you're the croak DORIS: In the forest, poison oak HOWARD: Though I know somethings are necessary My half-pint buckaroo If there's one thing I can do without I can do without..... DORIS: You're a knothead! HOWARD: You're a faker! DORIS: You're a bonehead! HOWARD: Troublemaker! BOTH: I can do without you! [Thanks to Michelle for lyrics]
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