[ÉPONINE]
And now I'm all alone again,
Nowhere to go, no one to turn to.
Did not want your money, sir,
Came out here cuz I was told to.
And now the night is near,
Now I can make believe he's here.
Sometimes, I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him, and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping.
The city goes to bed,
And I can live inside my head.
On my own,
Pretending he's beside me.
All alone,
I walk with him 'til morning.
Without him,
I feel his arms around me.
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes
And he has found me.
In the rain,
The pavement shines like silver.
All the lights are misty in the river.
In the darkness,
The trees are full of starlight.
And all I see is him and me forever and forever.
And I know
It's only in my mind,
That I'm talking to myself
And not to him.
And although I know that he is blind,
Still, i say,
There's a way for us.
I love him,
But when the night is over, he is gone.
The river's just a river.
Without him,
The world around me changes.
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers.
I love him,
But every day I'm learning
All my life,
I've only been pretending!
Without me,
His world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness that I have never known!
I love him...
I love him...
I love him...
But only on my own...
Exploring "On My Own": A Heart-Wrenching Ballad of Unrequited Love
Frances Ruffelle performing 'On My Own' in *Les Misérables*.
Song Credits
Artist: Frances Ruffelle
Song Writer: Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer
Producer: Alain Boublil & Claude-Michel Schönberg
Album: Les Misérables - Highlights (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
Release Date: 1987
Musical Genre: Pop, Broadway
Language: English
Song Meaning
Samantha Barks as Éponine, capturing the raw emotion of 'On My Own' from *Les Misérables*.
"On My Own" is one of the most iconic and heart-wrenching songs in *Les Misérables*. In it, Éponine, a poor young woman, sings about her unrequited love for Marius, a young revolutionary who is in love with another woman. The song is a poignant expression of longing, isolation, and the agony of loving someone who cannot return your feelings.
In the song, Éponine imagines a world where she and Marius are together, walking side by side through the streets, and even though she knows this is a fantasy, it provides her with a brief moment of happiness. She describes her surroundings as if they are part of a dream world where she is not alone, and Marius is beside her, even though she knows this is far from reality.
The lyrics of the song "On My Own" by Fantine were changed for the Broadway cast, and most lyrics have remained in the "without a home" version. Éponine's family, once well-off and owning an Inn, has fallen into hard times, and her dream life with Marius is the only solace she finds. She imagines her life with Marius, and the melody abruptly changes to mirror Fantine's earlier song, "I Dreamed a Dream." This highlights the shared wistfulness for the future due to heartbreak.
Rachelle Ann Go and Eva Noblezada sang a mashup of these two songs at West End Live 2016: "I Dreamed a Dream," where Eponine imagines walking with him and feeling his arms around her. The concept of being lost and then found is mirrored in A Heart Full Of Love, where Marius says of himself, "I am lost," and Cosette responds, "I am found." In this song, Eponine's love is not reciprocated, and she immediately romanticizes everything around her.
The middle eight bridge acts as a break between the infatuated and heartbroken parts of the song, representing Eponine bringing herself back to reality. Marius is not literally without sight but oblivious to Éponine's infatuation with him. However, she still has hope that Marius returns her feelings and that getting together could be possible.
When Eponine wakes up, the dream she had with Marius is gone, and the reality is not beautiful for her. She loves Marius but realizes it's just her imagination that she is loved back. After her death in A Little Fall of Rain, Marius moves on, and by the end of On My Own, Eponine is completely self-aware of her relationship with Marius. She has never experienced the mutual love Cosette and Marius experience together.
Éponine becomes very quiet and sounds like she's crying, emphasizing her despair. She comes to accept that she's alone in her love for Marius, but he loves Cossette. She's heartbroken.
Faith vs. Nihilism
While Éponine imagines this idyllic world with Marius, she ultimately comes to terms with the painful reality: "I love him, but every day I’m learning / All my life I’ve only been pretending." This line suggests the tension between fantasy and reality, where Éponine’s love is something she can only experience in her mind. This can be interpreted as a theme of faith versus nihilism. She yearns for the love that she will never have and is left to confront her loneliness and despair. The beautiful world she imagines with Marius is juxtaposed with the harsh world she faces every day, full of strangers and emptiness.
The Emotional Depth of the Song
The stark contrast between Éponine’s dream of a life with Marius and her real-life suffering highlights the emotional depth of the song. The imagery in the lyrics, such as the rain and the misty lights in the river, enhances the melancholy tone. It evokes feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness as she moves between her imagined world and the harsh streets of Paris, where she is alone.
Éponine's desperate longing for Marius becomes even more poignant as she acknowledges that, in the end, she is alone. Her admission, "I love him, but only on my own," encapsulates the deep sadness of loving someone who will never love you back, leaving Éponine to forever exist in a world of unrequited love.
Songs Sharing Similar Themes
Éponine's unforgettable performance of 'On My Own' from *Les Misérables*.
'I Dreamed a Dream' from *Les Misérables* (Lea Salonga): Both songs express the painful contrast between the idealized world of love and the harsh reality of a life unfulfilled. Fantine’s lament in ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ is similarly about lost hopes and dreams, echoing Éponine’s realization that her love for Marius is nothing but a fantasy.
'All I Ask of You' from *The Phantom of the Opera* (Sarah Brightman & Michael Crawford): Like Éponine in *Les Misérables*, Christine Daaé longs for love but is trapped in a complicated situation. Both songs speak to the desire for love and the conflict that arises when that love is complicated or unrequited.
'If I Loved You' from *Carousel* (Shirley Jones & John Raitt): This classic ballad explores the complexities of love and the hesitation that comes with it. Like Éponine, the characters in *Carousel* grapple with feelings they cannot fully express, and both songs reflect the internal struggle of loving someone who may not reciprocate the feelings.
Questions and Answers
What is the significance of Éponine singing "I love him, but only on my own"?
This line encapsulates Éponine's unrequited love and her realization that the love she feels for Marius is one-sided. Despite her deep feelings for him, she acknowledges that she can only love him in her imagination, which heightens the tragic nature of her character.
How does "On My Own" represent Éponine's emotional growth?
Éponine’s emotional journey in this song is one of recognition and acceptance. She starts by dreaming of a life with Marius but ultimately comes to terms with the reality of her situation. Her acknowledgment of being alone and learning to live with unrequited love represents her emotional maturity, despite the pain.
What is the role of the environment in the song "On My Own"?
The setting in the song reflects Éponine's inner emotional state. The misty lights, rain, and empty streets mirror her isolation and the stark contrast between her imagination and reality. This setting amplifies the melancholy and hopelessness that pervade her feelings of unrequited love.
Awards and Chart Positions
'On My Own' has been one of the most iconic songs from *Les Misérables* and is often performed in musical theater concerts around the world.
The song has helped to solidify *Les Misérables* as one of the most successful Broadway musicals of all time, with numerous award nominations and wins, including Tony Awards and Olivier Awards.
Fan and Media Reactions
Éponine’s emotional performance of "On My Own" captures the hearts of the audience in *Les Misérables*.
"Frances Ruffelle’s portrayal of Éponine in *Les Misérables* left me speechless. Her voice, the raw emotion—it’s all so devastatingly beautiful!" — Theater critic.
"This song is pure heartbreak. Éponine’s love for Marius is so tragic, and this song captures the feeling of being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back." — Broadway fan.
"I can’t hear 'On My Own' without crying. Éponine’s loneliness and pain are felt so deeply in this song—it’s one of the most powerful moments in Les Misérables." — Musical theater enthusiast.
Musical: Les Miserables. Song: On My Own.
Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes
