More Miserable Sequence Lyrics > Forbidden Broadway, Vols. 1-4

Lyrics:

What show takes you up in the air when you come to call?
It's Broadway's big love affair, but not really Broadway's at all
But I saw it and I didn't mind
Compare it to other shows and you'll find
Just like the poster says, God knows,
It's Less Miserable than other shows

Go try, get in, to watch the people spin
Ooo-la-la-laa, Les Miserables
Javert gets sunk, and Eponine goes punk
Ooo-la-la-laa, Les Miserables
Valjean gets caught, and everyone gets shot
Ooo-la-la-laa, it's not Hedda Gabler
It's hot, it's chic, c'est tres tres magnifique
Les Miserables



At the end of the play we're another year older
And we're often exhausted from playing the poor
Randy Graff fell in the band
And the turntable's making us dizzy
Trevor Nunn yells a command
And it's throwing us all in a tizzy
And there's going to be hell to pay
At the end of the play

At the end of the play see the audience smolder
Sitting flat on their butts for three hours or more
They can't wait to get back home
And to read the libretto in bed
To decipher whatever went on
And what we said
Better read your synopsis
At the end of the play




There was a time when shows were fun
And they used bright lighting
And the shows weren't so long
And the songs weren't so biting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the scenery looked so pretty
I didn't sing one song then die
And all my costumes weren't so gritty

I did a tap-dance and I smiled
And pathos wasn't overstated
My lips were red, my hair was styled
I didn't act so constipated

But now that misery's in style
It's artistic if you suffer
So they tore my dress apart
And the chorus girls walk lame, lame

I dreamed a show in days gone by
Neil Diamond didn't sing my hit song
A pretty girl they'd glorify
And Act One wasn't so damn long

Come watch us grovel in the dirt
Then buy a souvenir and don it
Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt
That has a starving pauper on it

I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the sets weren't piles of rubble
I didn't have to belt high E
And be as miserable as me



God it's high, this song's too high
Pity me, change the key
Bring it down, bring it down
It's too high
It's too high
Much too high




If I seem to be grief stricken
When this song goes on and on
Empty songs with empty lyrics
All about the dead and gone




Enjolras:
Oh no Etienne, you're simply a confused and worried child.
Let me explain the plot of the show to you
So you can understand the way it's styled.

Jean Valjean is a convict who is being chased by the policeman Javert
Who doesn't know that he is now a mayor
And has adopted Cosette the little waif daughter of Fantine who dies in Act One
And that's why Jean Valjean must run.

Etienne:
Ah yes.

Enjolras:
Then he becomes involved in a French Revolution,
But not the big famous one a little later one you thought you didn't know anything about
Where Jean Valjean watches everyone get caught except for...

Etienne:
Marius!

Enjolras:
Yes! Marius, who loves Cosette instead of Eponine
Who joins the revolutionaries and runs up the barricade where she gets...

Etienne:
Pregnant?

Enjolras:
Shot. After she sings a long ballad very much like Jean Valjean
Who dies peacefully knowing that he has driven Javert to jump off a bridge
And has significantly changed France by being an all-round nice guy
And C'est Finis our story's done.
How did you like that?

Etienne:
*snores*



Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the hit songs from Les Mis
It is the best show of a classic
Since they modernised The Wiz
Better learn the songs by heart
And if you don't, they'll call you dumb
They'll be atop the record chart
When the British come

No more Gershwin, no more Kern
We don't need old shows anymore
We'll set ablaze and burn most every Stephen Sondhiem score
Come join with the few who have started a musical war

Do you hear the people sing?
All of the new songs from Les Mis
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his
You'll be ticketed and pinched
If a La Cage song you should hum
Poor Jerry Herman will be lynched
When the British come

Do you hear the people sing?
All of the new songs from Les Mis
Now with our new French Revolution
We'll decapitate The Wiz
Now Les Mis is here to stay
Miss Saigon will leave you numb
Phantom will haunt the Great White Way
When the British come
Ahhh...
The British come
Forbidden Broadway!
Last Update: June, 10th 2013