A Day in Falsettoland Lyrics > Falsettos

WHIZZER: (speaking) A Day In Falsettoland, Dr. Mendel At Work.

CAROLINE: You go out on the streets,
And there are all these people asking for a handout!
You go home, you open up your mail,
And it's full of people asking for a donation!
And you turn on the TV and they want money for starving children in Ethiopia!
I just want to be left alone!

MENDEL: (overlapping) (singing)
I don't get it! I don't understand!
In the 60s, everyone had heart.
In the 60s, we were all a part of the same team.
In the 60s, we had a new world to start!
Could this- oh God, don't say this-
Could this be the new world we started'
Here I sit, brokenhearted and-

CAROLINE: (speaking) Do I wait for the promotion, or do I take this IBM job'

MENDEL: Yeah, well, Caroline' Hmm.
(singing) I don't get it!
I've been left behind,
Half my patients, yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans!
Now the world is too pathetic,
And I don't get it at all!

CAROLINE: (speaking) Oh, I'm in a deep quandary about my career. What do you think I should do'

MENDEL: Time's up.

CAROLINE: Awww.

MENDEL: (singing) At least there's Trina at home,
Trina in bed, Trina obsessing and sort of caressing
My head with her feet.
I once thought it was sweet,
But I don't anymore.
Now I just snore,

Cause I'm so exhausted,
Listening as those yuppie farts complain,
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives.

CHARLOTTE: (speaking) Trina Works It Out.

TRINA: (singing) Marvin's back with Whizzer,
Just like how it was.
If I don't like Whizzer,
It's because my ex sure does.

Why should that affect me'
Sometimes I'm a lout.
Mendel serenades and Jason calms me.
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt'
Work it out!

JASON: The Neighbors Relax!

CORDELIA: How was your day at the hospital'

CHARLOTTE: Unbelieveable! What is that smell'

CORDELIA: Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine! I've been practicing cuisine bar mitzvah nouvelle. Well'

MENDEL: (speaking) Hi, honey.

TRINA: Hi, honey.

MENDEL: (singing) How was your day'

TRINA: It was terrible. Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer' Marvin's back with Whizzer!

MENDEL: Drop it, sweetheart.
Give it up, you know I love you.
Honey, sweetheart, what's the matter'
I don't get it. Why don't you let go'

TRINA: After the first mile, I'll be OK. I cannot let go until we have this bar mitzvah.

MENDEL: Isn't it enough I want you every night'

TRINA: Heh.

MENDEL: Every other night'

TRINA: Hehehehehe.

MENDEL: Every third night'
Everything will be alright.

TRINA: Everything will be alright.

MENDEL & TRINA: Everything will be alright.

CORDELIA: How was your day at the hospital'

CHARLOTTE: It was wonderful.
For the first time in months, nobody died.
There were just heart attacks and gallstones,
Light bulbs up the ass,
Fake appendicitis, which is gas,
Which I diagnosed. People overdosed
And I saved them.

I save the young people, old people,
One priest and one high school principal!
Saving lives, I feel invincible!
Yes, I do!

Do you know how great my life is'
Do you know how great my life is,
Saving lives and loving you'

CORDELIA: You save lives and I save chicken fat, I can't fucking deal with that!

CHARLOTTE: Do you know how great my life is'

CORDELIA: Yes, I know how great your life is.

CHARLOTTE: Do you know how great my life is'

CORDELIA: Yes, I know how great your life is.

CHARLOTTE: Do you know how great my life is,

CORDELIA: Yes, I know how great-

MENDEL & TRINA: (overlapping)
Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.

CHARLOTTE: Saving lives

CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA: And loving you.

(Marvin and Whizzer are playing racquetball)

WHIZZER: It bounced twice.

MARVIN: No, it didn't.

WHIZZER: Once, then twice. You know it did.

MARVIN: That's not nice.

WHIZZER: No, it isn't, but you're a pain in the ass!

MARVIN: You're a beast, but at least
When you play me, you win.

WHIZZER: You give up.

MARVIN: I perspire.

WHIZZER: Where's the heat' Where's the fire'
It used to be you'd desire a fight, so fight!

MARVIN: So play!

WHIZZER: One two three four!

MARVIN: One two three four!

WHIZZER: One two three four!

MARVIN: One two three four!

WHIZZER: Lucky dink.

MARVIN: I'm finessing.

WHIZZER: Something stinks in how you play.

MARVIN: Don't you think it's a blessing I'm so pathetically bad'

WHIZZER: Just stay back, sir, with force.
I'll attack and, of course, I will win! Just give in to bliss and kiss!

MARVIN: Let's go!
Do you know all I want is you'
Anything you do is alright!
Yes, it's alright!
Do you know all I want

WHIZZER: (speaking) (overlapping)
Down the alley!
High long!
Low jump! Oooh!
Ceiling shot!
Into the court!
Four walls! Dink!

MARVIN: Is you'

WHIZZER: It hit your shoe.

MARVIN: No, it didn't!

WHIZZER: Yes, it did. The game is through.

MARVIN: That's not nice.

WHIZZER: No, it isn't.

MARVIN: God, you're a pain in the ass!

WHIZZER: Play it raw, don't play pretty.
Sex and games in New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion, and passion and flair!

CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA:
Do you know how great my life is'
Do you know how great my life is,
Saving lives and loving you'

MARVIN & WHIZZER: (overlapping) Do you know all I want is you'
Anything you do is alright! Yes, it's alright!

MENDEL & TRINA: (overlapping)
Everything will be alright! Everything will be alright!

ALL: Everything will, everything will,
Everything will, everything will be alright! Alright!

JASON: (speaking) Soup's on!
Last Update: November, 24th 2016