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Musical: The Thing About Men
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Na Na Na Na….Na Na Na Na (repeat) Man and Woman: Don’t you just love a pretty love story? Brimming with passion, valor and glory Well that’s too bad, that aint our tale today What we’ve got here is more realistic A husband, a wife, and things get sadistic And we are here, to do the play by play There is a man, and we’ll call him Tom … Tom Because that’s his name as was given by mom Life was so swell, til things went to… well Meet our home owning, lawn mowing, man…. Tom: Jump out of bed and start my preparing The clock strikes six, I’m ready and raring Suit myself up, it’s time to seize the day (Good morning…,morning) Lucy: Normally here it sounds like a riot The kids are at camp, I’m loving the quiet I think today is going to go my way Gotta go honey But Tom, today is .. (what, what? Today is what? Never mind go.. go! I love you) Oh he’s a man, who works night and day He’s got a porche and a 401K Isn’t he great, successful and straight? He’s a porche driving, wife loving, home owning, lawn mowing man Greetings good workers of … your No time to talk, the copy’s not gelling The story board sucks, the staff is rebelling They’re pissed off People, relax, I’m going to save the day Before we start, I need to speak with Jessica …. It’s important Today is your 15th wedding anniversary Oh what a man, A wonderful man Swinging through life with the ease of Tarzan Take it from me, there’s one way to be Be a bread-winning, ass kicking, porche driving, wife loving. Home owining, lawn mowing man Tom, what are you doing home? Happy Anniversary… Na na na A hickey Tom .. how could this be true How dare she be as unfaithful as you? For I’m a man, a wonderful man Life was so great til this shit hit the fan How could she stray? Well let’s start the play Marriage could turn into what you never planned Pick yourself up, dammit Tom, take a stand Oh you bread-winning, ass kicking, wife loving, skirt chasing, (we need a therapist) home owning, lawn mowing man Don’t you just love a pretty long story. I’m a man…..! [Thanks to aoenglish2003@hotmail.com for lyrics]
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