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Musical: Tale of Two Cities, A
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CRUNCHER (sings) IF I WERE RID OF WIFE AND KID MY LIFE WOULD BE MY OWN. MAN#1 HE'D NEVER CARE IF HE WERE STARVING IF HE'D NONE AT HOME. CRUNCHER BUT SELFISH AIN'T MY WAY. MAN #2 AND ODD-JOB JOBS DON'T PAY CRUNCHER WHAT'S WRONG IF I PROVIDE A LITTLE ON THE SIDE TA DRY A RAINY DAY? WHEN A POOR BROTHER DIES GOD ALMIGHTY SURELY CRIES TO THINK THAT BLOKE WILL BE OF NO CONSTRUCTIVE USE RIGHT WHERE HE LIES BUT WITH NERVES MADE OF STONE I APPROACH THE GREAT UNKNOWN MAN #1 TURN DOWN THE COVERS OF HIS BED AND RESURRECT HIM FROM THE DEAD CRUNCHER WHEN SCIENTIFIC GUYS NEED BODIES FOR SUPPLIES ALL WE'LL BET A SHINY SHILLING HEAVEN'S ALL TOO WILLING SOMETHING SHOULD ARISE CRUNCHER DOCTORS NEED CERTAIN PARTS. MAN#1 BLEEDIN' KIDNEYS... MAN#2 BLEEDIN' HEARTS... CRUNCHER AND IF THEY ONLY NEED A SMALL INTESTINE MAN #1 and MAN #2 THEY'VE GOT JARS THE REST CAN REST IN CRUNCHER WHEN THERE'S A CURE YOU'LL BE THANKING ME WE'RE SURE ALL AS LONG AS SOMETHING GETS YOU IN THE END ME JOB'S SECURE MAN #1 SAY WHAT YOU WILL MAN #2 HE MEANS NO ILL MAN #1 HE LOVES THE HUMAN RACE MAN #2 BUT WHAT ABOUT SOME POOR DEAD LOUT WHO'S OUT A RESTING PLACE? CRUNCHER I FEEL FOR THEM POOR STIFFS. MAN #2 SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE. CRUNCHER AND FOR SOME MEASLY TIPS MAN #1 and #2 HE WORKS TO EASE THEIR BOREDOM CRUNCHER LET 'EM GET SOME AIR MAN #2 TRY AND LIE IN A CASE MAN #1 BUGS AND DIRT ALL IN YOUR FACE MAN #1 AND #2 A SMELL SO ROTTEN IN THE AIR JUST TOO MONOTONOUS TO BEAR CRUNCHER WHAT I DO WHEN I CAN IS TO SERVE MY FELLOW MAN! SO IF YOU WANNA DO YOUR PART... MAN #1 AND IF YOU AIN'T TOO FAINT O' HEART! MAN #2 IF YOU WANT SALARY INCREASED... CRUNCHER AND YOU DEAL WELL WITH THE DECEASED... ALL A RESURRECTIONIST CAN LET HIS CONSCIENCE REST IN PEACE!
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