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The One on the Left

The One on the Left lyrics

The One on the Left

SOLDIER (to his Companion)
The one on the left is nice and pink.
I’ll tip her a wink.
The one on the right seems charming, too,
Although she does look rather blue …
Well, what shall we do?

CELESTE #2
They’re not paying the least bit attention to us.

CELESTE #1
You really should try using that pole.

SOLDIER
The one on the left is awfully bold —
I wonder how old.
The one on the right is more demure —
Or less mature,
You can’t be sure.
She isn’t much over seventeen.
She looks pretty clean...
I see what you mean.

CELESTE #2
I told you this would make no difference.

CELESTE #1
Oh! Oh! ...

CELESTE #2
What’s wrong?

CELESTE #1
Just sit there.

SOLDIER
May we be of some service, Madame?

CELESTE #1
Mademoiselle.

CELESTE #2
She has a fish.

CELESTE #1
He knows.

SOLDIER
Allow me.

CELESTE #1
Oh. It tugged so...

SOLDIER
There’s no sign of a fish here.

CELESTE #1
Oh me. My name’s Celeste. And this is my friend.

CELESTE #2
Celeste.
(Aside, to Celeste #1)
I don’t think he likes me.

CELESTE #1
Certainly he likes you.
You take the other one...

CELESTE #2
That one is peculiar —

CELESTE #1
How is he peculiar?

CELESTE #2
Why’s he so qui —

CELESTE #1 (to Soldier)
Do you have a name?

SOLDIER
I beg your pardon. Napoleon. Some people feel I should change it.

CELESTE #2
And your friend?

SOLDIER
Yes. He is my friend.

CELESTE #2
Why is he so quiet?

CELESTE #1
He’s very quiet.

SOLDIER
Yes. Actually he is. He lost his hearing during combat exercises.

CELESTE #1
Oh. What a shame.

SOLDIER
He can’t speak, either.

CELESTE #2
Oh. How dreadful.

SOLDIER
We have become very close, though.

CELESTE #1
So I see.
Both of them are perfect.

CELESTE #2
You can have the other.

CELESTE #1
I don’t want the other.

CELESTE #2
I don’t want the other either.

SOLDIER
Mademoiselles,
I and my friend,
We are but soldiers!
Passing the time
In between wars
For weeks at an end.

CELESTE #2
Shouldn’t we be going?

CELESTE #1
No, will you be quiet?

CELESTE #2
Something is peculiar —

SOLDIER
And after a week
Spent mostly indoors
With nothing but soldiers,
Ladies, I and my friend
Trust we will not offend,
Which we’d never intend,
By suggesting we spend —

THE CELESTES
Oh, spend —

SOLDIER
— this magnificent Sunday —

THE CELESTES
Oh, Sunday —

SOLDIER
— with you and your friend.

CELESTE #2
The one on the right seems quite attached.

CELESTE #1
As well as scratched.

SOLDIER
Admit it, old man, we’re not badly matched.

ALL
It’s certainly fine for Sunday

SOLDIER (to Companion)
The one on the left seems quite subdued.

CELESTE #2
I’m not in the mood.

CELESTE #1 (to Celeste #2)
You’re ruining things and we’re being rude —

ALL
It’s certainly fine for Sunday!

SOLDIER, CELESTE #1
My only advice
Is don’t think twice.

SOLDIER (to Celeste #1)
Would you care for an ice?

THE CELESTES
Oh, an ice would be nice!

CELESTE #2 (to Celeste #1)
Will they buy us a drink?

SOLDIER
Are they virgins, you think?

ALL
It’s certainly fine for Sunday!

CELESTE #2 (to Celeste #1, referring to Companion)
Is that a mustache
Or just a gash?

CELESTE #1 (to Celeste #2)
But just look at the sash!

SOLDIER (to Companion)
Did you bring any cash?

CELESTE #1
The buckles and braid —

CELESTE #2
The gold brocade —

CELESTE #1
The boots —

CELESTE #2
The blade —!

SOLDIER
Shall we head for the glade?

CELESTE #1
Heading for the shadows —!

CELESTE #2
Anything can happen —

CELESTE #1
Wonder what they’re planning.

CELESTE #2
What they’re planning?

CELESTE #1
What they’re planning later on!

SOLDIER (to Companion)
The one on the right gave you a look —
Let’s hope she can cook.

THE CELESTES
Taking us to dinner —
Maybe to the follies —!
Anyhow, it’s certainly fine for Sunday!

CELESTE #1
The one on the right is odd, it’s true,
But what can we do?

SOLDIER (to Companion)
The one on the left —

CELESTE #1
You’re odd as he —

SOLDIER
— has great esprit —

CELESTE #2
I don’t agree —

SOLDIER, CELESTE #1
The one on the left is right for me —
So the one on the right is left for you.

Last Update: December, 24th 2013


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Musical: Sunday in the Park With George. Song: The One on the Left. Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes