First Letter Home Lyrics > Song & Dance

Mum, I've got a lot to tell you.
Me and Chuck have had a bust up.
Now before you pull your hair out,
Viv has given me a room.
And I've met this film producer.
Please don't laugh, his name is Sheldon.
He says he can get my green card
or his name's not Sheldon Bloom.

Sheldon comes from California
and he wants to take me out there.
Oh, thanks for your last letter.
I was thrilled to hear from you.
I'm enclosing fifty dollars.
If you want that dress, then buy it.
Oh, incidentally, Sheldon's mum likes Liberace, too!

There are lots of things I miss here.
No one makes a normal sandwich.
You need Goliath's mouth to try and get through one of them.
Sheldon's got a house in Bel Air.
Well, it's really a pink mansion.
It's got electric gates and armed guards,
and he calls it "La Boheme!"

Mum, I don't know how to say this,
but American men are different.
They seem at first quite normal,
but I really fear they're not!
They're all buzzy and electric,
and so proud to be neurotic!
And the thought of growing older seems to bother them a lot!

Mum, New York is just amazing.
I wish I could stay longer,
but Sheldon's so dynamic he is sweeping me away.
He is funny he is handsome... strangely handsome.
Well, there's no words to describe him.
You can't imagine Sheldon Bloom unless you know L.A.

[Thanks to Hayley for lyrics]
Last Update: June, 10th 2013