How I Got the Calling lyrics
How I Got the Calling
Mary patrick:
When i was still a school girl,
Standing just about yay high,
I saw the face of jesus
In a coconut cream pie.
Next morning, there was mary
In a bowl of special k,
And ten of twelve apostles
In the salad bar buffet.
Now frankly, i?m an eater,
And i polished of saint peter
When my tummy sorta gave a little lurch,
And, i knew,
Beyond all question,
It was more than indigestion,
And that?s how i got my calling to the church.
Deloris:
[you found god in junk food?]
Mary patrick:
[the lord works in mysterious ways!
So i told mine, now you tell yours.]
Deloris:
[age before beauty.]
Mary lazarus:
[death before dishonor.]
My mother kicked the bucket
In the flood of ?38.
A falling steinway piano
Sent my father to his fate.
All twenty of my siblings
Caught the plague, by some odd chance.
And something in the meatloaf
Got my uncles and my aunts.
The town i lived in bit it
When a freak tornado hit it,
And the heartbreak took my dog to his reward.
And ? I figured on reflection,
I could maybe use protection,
Mary lazarus/nuns:
And that?s how i got my
Calling to the lord!
(how i got my
Calling to the lord)
Mary patrick/mary lazarus:
Yes, that was how i got the calling!
Mary lazarus:
And it was bracing -
Mary patrick:
But enthralling!
Mary patrick/mary lazarus:
And i just knew i?d do as i was bid.
Mary patrick
I?d be overfed -
Mary lazarus:
And i?d be obviously dead -
Mary patrick/mary lazarus:
So thank the lord i got the calling when i did!
Mary patrick:
[now you!]
Deloris:
[no, them!]
Mary lezin:
The folks from ?jews for jesus'
Stuck a pamphlet in my purse.
Mery cecilia:
I heard a voice while playing
?Sargeant pepper? In reverse.
Mary petroc:
I prayed and then by goll,
My psoriasis was healed.
Mary antioch:
People always told me
That i looked like sally field.
Mary katari:
I had a revelation
When i skipped my medication.
Mary wiligis:
The outfit just did wonders for my frame.
All nuns:
And, yes it may be odd
To get a wake-up call from god.
But in the end, i got the calling, and i came.
(i got the calling and i came)
And that was how i got the calling,
(la la la la la la )
And gave my life an overhauling
(la la la la)
Mary antioch/mary petroc:
And it was loud -
Mary miguel:
And firm -
Mary josephat:
And oh, so clear!
All nuns:
Yes it?s quite a jump.
Mary genisius:
But i?d be lost -
Mary emebert:
Afraid -
Mary petroc:
A frump!
Nuns:
So thank the lord i got the calling,
And i?m here!
Mary patrick:
[saved the best-est for last-est!]
Deloris:
[oh, oh, she hasn't gone yet.]
Mary robert:
[oh no, not me, i can't - i didn't -]
Mary patrick:
[mary robert wasn't exactly called to the convent,
Were ya, mouse? Tell her.]
Mary robert:
[well...]
You see... I mean... It?s kind of like, i ?
Mary patrick:
Came here as a tot.
Mary robert
What i mean is...
Mary patrick:
Left here at the door.
[go on.]
Mary robert:
And i don?t know if i?m...
Mary patrick:
... Supposed to be a nun -
Mary robert:
Or -
Mary patrick
Not.
Mary robert
It?s...
Mary patrick:
Hard to say, but after all,
That?s what the call if for.
[right? So! Spotlight's back on you,
Sister. 'Fess up!]
Delorois:
[o-kay... Ah...]
Me and... Sister sledge...
We had a ministry, i guess.
[ah...]
Uh, working at our lady of...
Perpetual... Excess...
We?d go among the village... People...
Everyday... Well, night.
Lifting up the sinful
And helping the uptight.
Then suddenly one day
It was like, bang!
And right away i saw the light
And screamed "sweet jesus christ"
And such
And... I asked to be secluded
In this hellhole just like you did.
And that?s how i got the calling,
Pretty much
All nuns:
How she got the calling
Pretty much.
Deloris:
And that?s is how i got the calling.
All nuns:
It was sublime -
Deloris:
And yet appalling!
All nuns:
And it was oh, so right in all respects!
Aahhhh...
Mary miguel:
Sweet as mountain honey -
Mary adelard:
And as wild as summer lightening -
Mary kateri:
And as warm as woollen mittens -
Mary emebert:
And so fierce that it was frightening -
Mary wiligis:
And as bright as new-cut flowers -
Mary lezin
And as swift as april showers -
Deloris:
And orgasmic as a night of sweaty sex!
[i'm sorry, was that out loud?]
Mary patrick:
If it never came -
Mary lazarus:
If all our lives were just the same -
Mary patrick/mary lazarus:
Well, heaven knows what might?ve
Happened to us then...
Nuns:
But we got the calling.
Thank the lord we got the calling.
We?re so glad you got the calling,
Amen!
Last Update: December, 17th 2013