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Musical: Shrek
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YOUNG FIONA, (Spoken) Settle in girls. It's story time! Isn't this fun? It's like a sleep over, but instead of a pillow fight, there is an insane dragon who incenterates things. Now where were we? Oh right, (Sung) There’s a princess In a tower Oh my gosh, that’s just like me Poor Rapunzel Needs a haircut But the witch won’t set her free She passes time by singing Like someone else I know As years go by she sits and waits… As years go by? Uh oh A torturous existence I don’t remember this part! She wishes she were dead? Skip ahead skip ahead! But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair! So I know, he’ll appear Cause there are rules and there are strictures I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight My white knight, and his steed Will look just like these pictures! It won’t be long now, I guarantee! Day number…23. I know its today I know its today TEENSAGE FIONA: (Spoken) Oh here's a good one! It's a classic! (Sung) There’s a princess In a coma Glad its her instead of me. Pretty maiden In a glass box How I wonder does she pee? Blah blah blah, poison apple Boring boring evil queen Filler filler, been there, read that! Seven shorties on the scene. Skip ahead, skip ahead… But in the end the princess wakes up with a start The prince is good at kissing And melting Snow White’s heart! So I know, he’ll appear And his armor will be blinding! As shining as his perfect teeth And then repose He’ll propose On one knee And our prenupt will be binding! About time we set the wedding date! Day number…958. I know it's today. He’ll show up today.... FIONA: ...ay... There’s a princess Any princess Take your pick, they’re all like me Not exactly, I’m still waiting they’re living happily Ever after better get here I want love in seconds flat No one needs these middle bits Oops, did I do that? Cut the villains, cut the vamping Cut this fairytale Cut the peril and the pitfalls Cut the puppet and the whale Cut the monsters, cut the curses Keep the intro, cut the verses And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting The waiting! But I know, he’ll appear Though I seem a bit bipolar And I’m a vandal now as well, though he won’t mind I’m a find, I’m a catch And a very gifted bowler! It won’t be long now, I guarantee! Day number… Are you there God? It’s me Fiona… ALL FIONAS: It’s me Fiona! Now I know, he’ll appear Cause there are rules and there are strictures I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight My white knight, my knight and his steed Will look just like these pictures! It won’t be long now, I guarantee! YOUNG FIONA Day number 23 TEENAGE FIONA Day number 958 FIONA: Day number 4823 YOUNG FIONA I know its today, oooo TEENAGE FIONA I know its today, oooo FIONA, I know its today, oooo YOUNG FIONA I know its today, oooo TEENAGE FIONA I know its today, oooo FIONA, I Know it's today ALL FIONAS, I know it's today! [Thanks to Mandy Marie for lyrics] [Thanks to Brandon Nichols, Ikku for corrections]
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