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How To Raise A Child Lyrics > Seussical

How To Raise A Child Lyrics


MRS. MAYOR
He was Mommy's little boy.

MR. MAYOR
He was Daddy's little man.

BOTH
He was never any trouble till this...
"Thinking Thing" began!

MR. MAYOR
We must both lay down the law.

MRS. MAYOR
Will he hate us?

MR. MAYOR
Maybe so.

MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
Oh, where are the instructions
On how to raise a child?
Who has the instructions
On how to raise a child?
Who has all the answers?
I don't know.

(The CAT pops up and hands them a brochure.)

MRS. MAYOR (Reading)
Does your child give you troubles?
Do his grades keep on shrinking?

MR. MAYOR (Reading)
Does he drive teachers wild
With his uncontrolled thinking?

MR. & MRS. MAYOR (Reading)
As a parent, are you
Overwhelmed? Insecure?
The help that you seek
Is inside this brochure!

(An alarm clock goes off, loudly. JOJO's parents put on big, cheerful smiles and wake him)

MAYOR
It's nine, son.
Rise and shine, son,
It's a very special day!

MRS. MAYOR
Get dressed, dear.
Look your best, dear.
Soon you will be on your way.

MAYOR
Now, here is your pencil.


MRS. MAYOR
Here are your mittens.

MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
Here is your sword --

JOJO
My...sword?

(The CAT IN THE HAT blows a fanfare as
GENERAL GENGHIS KAHN SCHMITZ arrives grandly.)

SCHMITZ
I'm General Genghis Kahn Schmitz.
I scare children out of their wits.
But you'll see at a glance, sir,
My school is the answer
For shirkers and dreamers and twits...
And in this case, I'd say the shoe fits!

Ten hut! Feet together. Chin up. Eyes on the prize, forward ... Harch!

(JOJO begins to march in place.)
Last Update: December, 12th 2013

Seussical Lyrics

  1. Act 1
  2. Overture
  3. Oh, The Thinks You Can Think
  4. Horton Hears A Who
  5. Biggest Blame Fool
  6. Here On Who
  7. Day For The Cat In The Hat, A
  8. It's Possible (In McElligot's Pool)
  9. How To Raise A Child
  10. Military, The
  11. Alone In The Universe
  12. One Feather Tail Of Miss Gertrude McFuzz, The
  13. Amazing Mayzie
  14. Amayzing Gertrude
  15. Monkey Around
  16. Chasing The Whos
  17. How Lucky You Are
  18. Notice Me, Horton
  19. How Lucky You Are (Mayzie's Reprise)
  20. Act 1 - Finale: Horton Sits On The Egg
  21. Act 2
  22. Egg, Nest and Tree
  23. Mayzie In Palm Beach
  24. Alone In The Universe (Reprise)
  25. Solla Solew
  26. Havin' A Hunch
  27. All For You
  28. The People Versus Horton The Elephant
  29. Finale/Oh, The Thinks You Can Think (Reprise)
  30. Green Eggs And Ham (Curtain Call)

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