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Musical: Rock Of Ages
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REGINA: Mayor, we don’t really know the first thing about these people, or even what they want to build! HERTZ: SAY YOU DON’T KNOW ME, OR RECOGNIZE MY FACE SAY YOU DON’T CARE WHO GOES TO THAT KIND OF PLACE REGINA: KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA SINKING IN YOUR FIGHT HERTZ; TOO MANY RUNAWAYS HERTZ & FRANZ: EATING UP THE NIGHT! HERTZ: MARCONI PLAYS THE MAMBA REGINA: LISTEN TO THE RADIO! DON’T YOU REMEMBER? WE BUILT THIS CITY WE BUILT THIS CITY ON… MAYOR: Clean, efficient living? HERTZ: Exactly! REGINA; But Mayor, think about the businesses already there! What about them!? DENNIS: They’re calling it “economic redevelopment.” Apparently “The Bourbon” no longer generates an “adequate tax revenue.” LONNY: That’s why I keep telling ya we need to bring back “Naked Jello Wrestling Thursdays!” But this time, check it, we let women enter. DENNIS: Maybe it’s time to cash it in anyway-- DREW: Whoa, Dennis?! What are you saying?! DENNIS: IT’S JUST-- I’M SITTIN’ ON THIS BARSTOOL TALKIN’ LIKE A DAMN FOOL! GOT THE TWELVE O’CLOCK NEWS BLUES AND I’VE GIVEN UP HOPE FOR THE AFTERNOON SOAPS… AND A BOTTLE OF COLD BREW IS IT ANY WONDER I’M NOT CRAZY? LONNY: So chew a couple Prozac! Come on, Dennis! DENNIS: IS IT ANY WONDER I’M SANE AT ALL? DREW: You do wash your hands a lot. LONNY/ DENNIS/ DREW/ HERTZ/ MAYOR/ FRANZ/ REGINA IS IT ANY WONDER I’VE GOT TOO MUCH (CLAP) TIME ON MY HANDS DENNIS: AND IT’S TICKIN’ AWAY… LONNY: TICKIN’ AWAY FROM ME! So you sell, but what do I do?! “The Bourbon” is my life, man! DENNIS: Hold the phone! You guys see who’s in today’s paper?! DREW; Monster rockers, “Arsenal,” are breaking up. According to sources, lead singer, Stacee Jaxx, will leave the band after this tour to pursue a solo career-- DENNIS: Perfect right? Lonny who gave Stacee and Arsenal their start? LONNY: We did so? DENNIS: So? What if we hosted their last gig…ever. LONNY: The last Arsenal show here?! DENNIS: Tell that wouldn’t generate an adequate tax revenue. Plus, Stacee still owes me from that hotel incident with the Cool Whip and the baby llama. LONNY: Love it. DENNIS: I just hope it’s enough. LONNY: It’s gotta be I mean the mayor isn’t a total money grubbing whore. Wink. REGINA: Mayor, you’re not thinking clearly. HERTZ: Mayor, take ze money unt… HERTZ/ ENSEMBLE: RID THIS CITY! REGINA: No! MAYOR/ HERTZ/ FRANZ/ ENSEMBLE RID THIS CITY OF ROCK AND ROLL! REGINA: NOT THIS CITY MAYOR: Regina, you’re fired. MAYOR/ HERTZ/ FRANZ/ ENSEMBLE: WE’LL RID THIS CITY OF ROCK AND ROLL!! REGINA: You’re not gonna get away with this! LONNY: I can’t believe you still have his number. DENNIS: Stacee? It’s Denbo. STACEE JAXX: Who? DENNIS: Dennis, Dennis Dupree. Listen, how would you like to do your “Arsenal” farewell show here at “The Bourbon?” STACEE JAXX: Yeah, well we already got something planned for our last tour gig in Portland. So ah… DENNIS: I understand that. but just imagine for a second your last gig in a place that started it all. A lot of press on something like that. STACEE JAXX: Yeah it sounds cool but ah… DENNIS: And of course, we’d put your name ABOVE the band. Stacee Jaxx and Arsenal. One night only. Right before a solo album…Which, just between you and me, I’m so glad you’re doing. You know what I always used to say about you. STACEE JAXX: What? DENNIS: WELL, YOU’RE A JET FUEL GENIUS YOU CAN SOLVE THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS WITHOUT EVEN TRYIN’ STACEE JAXX: It’s true. I HAVE DOZENS OF FRIENDS AND THE FUN NEVER ENDS THAT IS, AS LONG AS I’M BUYIN’ IS IT ANY WONDER I’M NOT THE PRESIDENT? DENNIS: I’d vote for you, Stacee. STACEE JAXX: IS IT ANY WONDER I’M NULL AND VOID? DENNIS: I don’t even know what that means. STACEE/ DENNIS/ LONNY/ DREW/ FRANZ/ HERTZ/ ENSEMBLE: IS IT ANY WONDER I’VE GOT TOO MUCH (CLAP) TIME ON MY HANDS DENNIS: AND IT’S TICKIN’ AWAY LONNY/ DENNIS/ DREW: TICKIN’ AWAY FROM ME!! STACEE/ DENNIS/ LONNY/ DREW/ FRANZ/ HERTZ/ ENSEMBLE: TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS! DENNIS: TICK, TICK, TICKIN’ AWAY!! STACEE/ DENNIS/ LONNY/ DREW/ GROUPIES/ FRANZ/ HERTZ/ MAYOR: TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS STACEE JAXX: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO STACEE/ DENNIS/ LONNY/ DREW/ GROUPIES: TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS HERTZ/ MAYOR/ FRANZ: WE WILL RID THIS CITY! ENSEMBLE: TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS REGINA/ HERTZ/ MAYOR/ FRANZ: OF ROCK AND ROLL!! LONNY/ DREW/ FRANZ/ HERTZ/ MAYOR/ REGINA/ DENNIS/ GROUPIES: TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS TOO MUCH TIME-- HERTZ: Shall I call zee bulldozers? DENNIS: Remember the night you @*#!* with the baby llama? STACEE JAXX/ MAYOR: I'll do it. [Thanks to Sara for lyrics]
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