I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General Lyrics

Pirates of Penzance, The Musical Lyrics, I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General Lyrics
Pirates of Penzance, The Broadway Lyrics, I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General Pirates of Penzance, The Lyrics for Musicals, I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General
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Musical: Pirates of Penzance, The
Song: I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General

 

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

[Thanks to Terry Plank for lyrics]





Pirates of Penzance, The lyrics list:
• SYNOPSIS
• Pour, O Pour the Pirate Sherry
• When Frederic Was a Little Lad
• Oh, Better Far to Live and Die
• Oh! False One, You Have Deceived Me add
• Climbing over Rocky Mountains
• Stop, Ladies, Pray! add
• Oh Is There Not One Maiden Breast?
• Poor Wondering One
• What Ought We to Do?
• How Beautifully Blue the Sky
• Stay, We Must Not Lose Our Senses add
• Hold, Monsters! add
• I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General
• Oh! Men of Dark and Dismal Fate add
• Oh, Dry the Glistening Tear add
• Then Frederic add
• When the Foeman Bares His Steel add
• Now for the Pirates' Lair! add
• When You Had Left Our Pirate Fold add
• My Eyes Are Fully Open add
• Away, Away! My Heart's on Fire add
• All Is Prepared add
• Stay, Frederic, Stay! add
• Sorry Her Lot add
• No, I Am Brave add
• When a Felon's Not Engaged in His Employment add
• A Rollicking Ban of Pirates We add
• With Cat-Like Tread, Upon Our Prey We Steal
• Hush, Hush! Not a Word add
• Sighing Softly to the River add
• Finale add

 
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