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They Couldn't Compare To You

They Couldn't Compare To You lyrics

They Couldn't Compare To You

MERCURY
Oh, what a bevvy of beauties!
Oh, what a school of fish!
Oh, what a covey of cuties!
Oh, what a dish delish.

I've known litters of minxes
All of them fun for a while
But now for the nonce what me thinks is
You've got 'em

GIRLS
We've got 'em

MERCURY AND GIRLS
Beat a mile.
They...

MERCURY
They couldn't compare to you
They couldn't compare to you
Althought I've played many, many a maid
They couldn't compare to you.
I've thoroughly pitched the woo
From the heights of Valhalla to Kalamazoo
And though they all had a lot on the ball,
They couldn't compare to you.

GIRLS
Of ladies fair,
He's had more than his share

MERCURY
And strange, but true
I hereby declare from tiptoe to hair
They couldn't compare to you.

After playing the local sirens
That resided in my environs
I decided to learn the art of Cupid's trickery.
So at once, I started crusing.
Found the muses so amusing
That I even got a kick out of Terpsichore
After her, I met Calypso
Who was definitely a dip-so
Then I fled to big Brunhilde
(She was German)
After snitching Eve from Adam,
I attended "Called Me Madam"
And shortly began to nestle "Essle" Merman.
I admired the silken body
Of the chic Schaharazade
Then of Lady Godiva, I became the lord.
After that, I staged an orgie
For some friends of Lucrezia Borgia
And ended up at the Stork with Fannie Ward
After having had a party
With Venetian goddess Astarte,
I raised a bit of hell with Penelope.
After quieting all my urges
For several vestial virgins
I put on a strip for Gypsy Rose Lee.
Though I liked the queen of Sheeba,
She was mentally an amoeba.
As for Beatrice d'Este
She was a pest
And far too chesty.
As for the passionate wife of Nero,
My reactions were, frankly, zero.
And as for that that sourceress known as Cerce
She was so hot I hollered for mercy

GIRLS
So hot he hollered for mercy

MERCURY
There was Gallatia, and mean Medea and Sappho, one of the best.
There was Nefertiti, a perfect sweetie
And gay Mae West.
I was a hell of a fella with Cinderella
And Isabella of Spain.
And I used to caress both Lola Montez and that damn Calamity Jane.
When betwixt Nell Gwyn and Anne Boelyn I was forced to make my choice
I became so confused I was even amused and abused by Peggy Joyce.
There was Melisande, a platinum blonde,
How I loved to ruffle her locks.
There was bright Aurora and then Pandora who let me open her...

GIRLS
They couldn't compare to you

MERCURY
They couldn't compare to you

GIRLS
Although he's played many, many a maid

MERCURY
They couldn't compare to you.
I've thoroughly pitched the woo
From the heights of Valhalla to Kalamazoo,

GIRLS
And though they all had a lot on the ball

MERCURY
They couldn't compare to you.

GIRLS
Of ladies fair
He's loved more than his share

MERCURY
And strange, but true
I hereby declare
From tiptoe to hair

GIRLS
From head cap to square

MERCURY
From dressed up to bare

MERCURY AND GIRLS
They couldn't compare to you!

[Thanks to Julia for lyrics]
Last Update: October, 27th 2014


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Musical: Out Of This World. Song: They Couldn't Compare To You. Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes