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Musical: Once Upon A Mattress
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Winnifred: They all live happily, happily, happily ever after. The couple is happily leaving the chapel eternally tied. As the curtain descends, there is nothing but loving and laughter. When the fairy tale ends the heroine's always a bride. Ella, the girl of the cinders did the wash and the walls and the winders. But she landed a prince who was brawny and blue-eyed and blond. Still, I honestly doubt that she could ever have done it without that crazy lady with the wand. Cinderella had outside help! I have no one but me… Fairy godmother, godmother, godmother! Where can you be? I haven't got a fairy godmother. I haven't got a godmother. I have a mother… a plain, ordinary woman! Snow white was so pretty they tell us that the queen was insulted and jealous when the mirror declared that snow white was the fairest of all. She was dumped on the border but was saved by some men who adored 'er; Oh, I grant you, they were small. But there were seven of them! Practically a regiment! I'm alone in the night. By myself, not a dwarf, not an elf, not a goblin in sight! That girl had seven determined little men working day and night just for her! Oh sure! The queen gave her a poisoned apple. Even so she lived happily, happily, happily every after! A magical kiss counteracted the apple eventually… Though I know I'm not clever I'll do what they tell me I hafta! I want some happily ever after to happen to me! Winnifred maid of the mire, has one simple human desire Oh, I ask for no more than two shoes on the floor next to mine. Oh… Someone to fly and to float with to swim in the marsh and the moat with as for this one… Well, he'd be fine. But now it's all up to me… And I'm burning to bring it about. If I don't I'll be stuck with goodbye and good luck and get out! But I don't wanna get out! I wanna get in! I want to get into some happily, happily ever after. I want to walk happily out of the chapel eternally tied. For I know that I'll never live happily ever after 'til after I'm a bride! And then I'll be happily happy, Yes, Happily happy! And thoroughly satisfied! Satisfied! Satisfied! Oh Yeah! (In the dungeon deep below the castle, the Queen and Merton are preparing a potion to assure Winnifred's sound sleep. Unbeknownst to them, the King, hiding in a suit of armor, is listening to their schemes. As soon as the evil plotters depart, Dauntless happens by and King Sextimus realizes that, on the eve of his son's marriage, it is time to have a talk) King: (mimes) [You and I] Dauntless: You and I… King: (mimes) [We have to talk] Dauntless: We have to talk… (The King pauses, pats his heart) Dauntless: Heart-to-heart? King: (mimes) [Yes… No… Erase that] Dauntless: Not heart-to-heart? King: (mimes) [No….Man-to-Man] Dauntless: Man-to-man? King: (mimes) [Right!] Dauntless: (touched) Oh. Man-to-man. Well, what are we going to talk about, Papa? What do you want to tell me?
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