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Musical: Narnia
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White Witch: I am not hot and bothered; I am not in a sweat. To be quite precise I'm as cool as ice I'm relaxed as I can get I am not in a dither, and I'm not all at sea You might hear that somebody blew their top, But I guarantee it wasn't me. When I was young, I lacked perspective, I was terrorized by fantasies and fears As I've matured, I've grown objective And I haven't gone to pieces in 400 years There's no trace of a fever There's no knocking of the knees 'Cause my farenheit Is exactly right At a perfect 32 degrees. (Spoken) No thanks to you. Edmund (Spoken): I'm sorry, your highness, I was just repeating what I heard. White Witch: These Lurid rumors are very dire, Like an infection that taints the blood And they can flare up like wildfire- I won't have them, I detest them, Those who spread them, I arrest them, For the safety of the realm demands I nip them in the bud! But I'm not hot and bothered I am not in a stew If there's anyone Who should worry, son It should probably be you! Edmund(Spoken): Me? But, your highness, I'm only telling you what was said. Something about a revolution here in Narnia. White Witch: It can't be true- there's nothing to it- Just malicious and seditious tommyrot Don't lie to me! I'll make you rue it, You hateful and ungrateful little snot! (Spoken) What else have you heard? Edmund (spoken): Well, they said that Aslan is back- and "on the move"- andhe was putting together an army... against you! White Witch (Spoken): What? Aslan? Back? Here? On the move! Against me! White Witch: Impossible! Unbelievable! Absolutely Inconceivable! Take the most brutal of wolves you command, Fly like the wind to the home of the Beavers, That denful of traitors and Aslan believers. Spare only the lives of the three mortal children, Bind them in chains, bring them to me. But as for the rest, do as you will. Burn and destroy! Ravage and wreck! Savage and smash! Obliterate, Annihilate, And Kill! Fenris and Dwarf: Yeah, hot and bothered is what you're not; Not the teeniest tiny jot You're heart ain't racin' and your Nerves ain't shot As far as we can see. White Witch (Spoken): Go! Get the reindeer! We must be off! Dwarf (Spoken): To where, your highness? White Witch (Spoken): To the stone table. If Fenris doesn't chew up those Beavers, they'll take his rothers and sisters there to wait for... Aa... Aa... Aa... Aslan! Aaaah! Dwarf, Edmund, and Reindeer: At keepin' things tranquilzed, You're the best A marvelous model for all the rest Of how to stay perfectly self-possessed Despite adversity White Witch (Spoken): God knows I've had sufficient provocation... White Witch: But I'm not hot and bothered... Dwarf, Edmund, and Reindeer: No, she's not hot and bothered... White Witch: Not me... Dwarf, Edmund, and Reindeer: Not she... White Witch: Not me... Dwarf, Edmund, and Reindeer: Not she... No, she's not hot and bothered... Not she... (Simultaneously) White Witch: Not me! Dwarf, Edmund, and Reindeer: Not she! [Thanks to Queen Jadis for lyrics]
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