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Twenty Million People

Album lyrics:
  1. Act 1
  2. Twenty Million People
  3. Larger than Life
  4. The Musketeer Sketch The Musketeer Sketch Video
  5. Rookie In The Ring
  6. Manhattan Manhattan Video
  7. Naked In Bethesda Fountain 
  8. The Gospel According To King The Gospel According To King Video
  9. The Musketeer Sketch Rehearsal The Musketeer Sketch Rehearsal Video
  10. Funny/The Duck Joke Funny/The Duck Joke Video
  11. The Musketeer Sketch Rehearsal Part II 
  12. Welcome to Brooklyn Welcome to Brooklyn Video
  13. If the World Were Like The Movies
  14. Act 2
  15. Exits
  16. Shut Up and Dance Shut Up and Dance Video
  17. Professional Showbizness Comedy Professional Showbizness Comedy Video
  18. Maxford House Maxford House Video
  19. The Musketeer Sketch Finale The Musketeer Sketch Finale Video
  20. My Favorite Year 

Twenty Million People lyrics

Twenty Million People

BENJY
My name is Benjy Stone and 1954 was my favorite year
Not my best year, not the year I had the most success but my favorite year
It`s the year that separated my life into before and after
You see, in 1954 I made the jump from smartass kid
from the deli pushing a joke with every cruller to Freshman Writer on TV?s hottest show
The King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade and every Saturday night at 8 p.m. we went on the air live!

ANNOUNCER
Five minutes!

BENJY
God, once, just once I wanted to sneak in and diddle the clocks
so we?d go on the air five minutes early so America would see the show before the show
But back then, they were a lot more careful about violence on television

KING KAISER
Aaah!
I?m missing a button

SY
This is crap!

K.C.
Who?s missing the last two pages?

KING KAISER
They told me the caveman sketch was out

ALICE
Would somebody shoot me!

SY
Total crap!

BENJY
Who ordered the black new sugar?

CHORUS GIRLS
Together now, 5, 6, 7, 8!

ALL
Five minutes to go
From

Twenty million people
No, twenty million plus
Twenty million plus Americans watching us
Curling up on sofas
Calling in their pets
Passing out the popcorn
Turning on their television sets
Twenty million ordinary folks

KING KAISER
And your careers go down the drain if they don?t like the jokes

ALL
Ninety little minutes to get by
In front of twenty million people
Tonight!

BENJY
That?s King Kaiser, star of Comedy Cavalcade
A great guy

KING KAISER
This is Crap!

BENJY
Honest
And these are my fellow writers
Sy Benson, Headwriter, also known as the ulcer who walks like a man
And here?s Alice Miller and Herb Lee, two people joined at the funny bone

ALICE
Sy, these jokes are old enough to vote
You gotta make some cuts

SY
No cuts!
Nobody touches my material!
Nobody!

KING KAISER
Sy, you cut those dogs out of the monologue yet?

SY
Dead and gone, King Baby!

ALL
Twenty million reasons
We?re guaranteed to bomb
Twenty million small catastrophes
But we?re calm
Facing every challenge
Performing at our peak
Ninety little minutes up the creek
In front of twenty million people

BENJY
K.C. Downing, assistant to the producer
She?s nuts about me
K.C., we all set for out regular date after the show?

K.C.
Regular date, we don?t have a regular date
We had one date, at which you completely humiliated me

BENJY
I thought you liked my walrus impression

K.C.
I was planning to eat those breadsticks!

BENJY
I am love with the bread girl
It felt like paradise
It felt like war
It felt like
It felt like 1954
It was the best time I?d ever known
My first jokes were on the air
My first credits shining there
Benjy Stone
Benjy Stone

ANNOUNCER
Benjy!
Stop!
The telephone

BENJY
Hello

BELLE
Benjamin Darling, this is your mother

BENJY
Mom, it?s almost show time

BELLE
I?m calling only to remind you?re coming here for dinner tomorrow night

BENJY
Yeah, I know

BELLE
You bringing cake?

BENJY
Oh, mom I?m kinda busy now

BELLE
Cause if you are I?ll tell Rookie that he shouldn?t stop at
Coverment?s when he picks up the newspaper in the morning

BENJY
I?ll bring cake, okay

BELLE
Fruit or Crumb

BENJY
Whatever you want

BELLE
Benjamin Darling, I want whatever you want

BENJY
Crumb

BELLE
Fruit would be better

BENJY
Fruit

BELLE
Oi-oi-oi! The show is coming on
I can?t talk right now
Kisses Benjamin,
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

BENJY
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
It?s Saturday night

SEVERAL PEOPLE
I need a new zipper!

SY and OTHERS
This is Crap!

K.C. and OTHERS
Who?s missing the last two pages?!

ALICE
Oh my God!!

KING KAISER
They told me they cut King Tut last night

ALICE
Oh my God!!

SEVERAL GIRLS
Would somebody shoot me here and now!

KING KAISER
If only we had another week

CHORUS GIRLS
Together now, 5, 6, 7, 8!

ALL
One minute to go!

BENJY
God, what a show!

ALL
Twenty million people
Expecting something great
Twenty million?

ANNOUNCER
Places everyone!

ALL
It?s too late!
Let the costumes fit God
Please keep me on the staff
Make the show a hit God
Most of all, God, let the people laugh
Twenty awful seconds to prepare

GIRLS
You hold your breath

GUYS
You pray for death

ALL
And then you?re on the air!
Ninety little minutes to survive
In front of twenty million people

ANNOUNCER
5, 4, 3, 2...

KING KAISER
Welcome to The King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade

ALL
Live!

[Thanks to Michael for lyrics]
Last Update: October, 30th 2014


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Musical: My Favorite Year. Song: Twenty Million People. Broadway musical soundtrack lyrics. Song lyrics from theatre show/film are property & copyright of their owners, provided for educational purposes