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Musical: Meet Me In St. Louis
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KATIE: AN IRISHMAN IS A FUNNY GUY, SOMETIMES LOW AND SOMETIMES HIGH, DECEPTIVE AND EVASIVE, POETIC AND PERSUASIVE. THE LASSIES HAVE THE SELF-SAME KNACK, SO THEY NEVER HAVE A LACK OF GENTLEMAN HANGIN’ AROUND-- AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I'VE FOUND. THEY CHARM HIM, DISARM HIM WITH EV’RY FEMININE WILE, AND STEAL THEM FROM THEIR SISTERS WITH BRAZEN IRISH GUILE. ESTHER / ROSE: IT SOUNDS AS IF, WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE, A COUPLE OF SMITHS WOULDN'T STAND A CHANCE. ROSE: WE OUGHT TO BE CASEY OR MULLIGAN! ESTHER: O'SULLIVAN OR McCULLIGAN! KATIE: OH NO, THAT ISN'T TRUE. THERE ARE JUST A FEW SIMPLE THINGS YOU OUGHT TO DO . . . IF THE LAD IS SLOW TO SPEAK AND QUICK TO RUN AWAY, IF HIS WALLET'S EMPTY WHEN THEY GIVE ‘IM A BILL TO PAY, IF HE STARTS TO PANIC WHEN YOU MENTION “WEDDING DAY,” GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF THE BLARNEY, HIS FEET WILL LEAVE THE GROUND GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF THE SHAMROCK AN’ WATCH HIM COME AROUND. IF HE SAYS YOU'RE LUCKY KNOWIN’ SUCH A HANDSOME GENT, TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE TIRED OF HIM, YOU'VE GIVEN HIM UP FOR LENT. DO A BIT OF FLIRTIN’ JUS’ TO THROW IF OFF THE SCENT-- GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF THE BLARNEY AND SET YOUR LITTLE TRAP, GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF THE SHAMROCK— HE'LL FALL INTO YOUR LAP! [Four bars of “Irish pipes”] THEN PRAISE HIM, GENTLY DAZE HIM, SIMPLY AMAZE HIM WITH COMPLIMENTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE. IF HE TELLS YOU YOU'RE THE SWEETEST LASS HE'S EVER KNOWN, MAKE SURE THAT THE TWO OF YOU WILL NEVER BE LEFT ALONE; WHISTLE THROUGH YOUR TEETH AND HOLLER FOR THE CHAPERONE, GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF SHILLELAGH, IMPLORE YOU THOUGH HE MAY, GIVE ‘IM A TOUCH OF THE IRISH AN’ YOU WILL WIN THE DAY. TELL ‘IM HE'S WONDERFUL, TELL ‘IM HE'S MARVELOUS, TELL ‘IM HE'S CLEVER AND WISE; TELL ‘IM YOU'RE CAPTURED, BEWITCHED AND ENRAPTURED WHENEVER YOU LOOK IN HIS EYES. IF THAT DOESN'T GET ‘IM, COMPLETELY UPSET ‘IM NO MATTER HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK, WHY, TELL HIM YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK! AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS AND HE TAKES THE WIND RIGHT OUT OF YOUR SAILS, LEAD ‘IM TO ROMANCE WITH A GENUINE IRISH DANCE. [KATIE leads ESTHER and ROSE through a 27-measure Irish jig, an Irish reel, an Irish Hornpipe, and anything else she can remember from her childhood in Donegal.] KATIE: GIVE HIM A TOUCH OF THE BLARNEY, KATIE / ESTHER / ROSE: AND A TOUCH OF KILLARNEY, GIVE HIM A TOUCH OF THE IRISH . . . [The last syllable of “Irish” is in close harmony and held for several bars.] IT ALWAYS WINS THE DAY! KATIE: HEY! [Thanks to solomientoBarry@yahoo.com for lyrics]
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