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Musical: Meet Me In St. Louis
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AGNES Grandpa, you know everything, don’t you? GRANDPA Yes, of course. TOOTIE Will I know everything when I get to your age? GRANDPA You’ve got a long time to learn. AGNES Do you remember everything in your whole life? GRANDPA Absolutely everything… AGNES What was it like when you were a boy? Is it very different from being a girl? GRANDPA [Chuckling.] Well, I suppose so. But I’ll tell you a secret -- MUSIC CUE: Be Anything But A Girl_ GRANDPA WHEN I WAS A BOY, I MUST CONFESS I SECRETLY ENVIED GIRLS. THEY WERE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND LOVE BY A VELVET HAND AND VELVET GLOVE WITH NEVER A SINGLE CHORE WHILE BOYS HAD TO WORK, AND THEN WORK SOME MORE AGNES WELL, I’M JUST THE OTHER WAY ROUND, I GUESS I’VE ALWAYS ENVIED BOYS! I WISH I COULD HAVE THEIR CAREFREE WAYS AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY DAYS BOYS CAN LEARN, AND GROW, AND FIND THEIR PLACE AND FEEL LIKE A PART OF THE HUMAN RACE! GRANDPA IF REINCARNATION PERRMITTED YOUR LIFE TO UNFURL AGAIN I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME BACK, JUST TO BE A GIRL AGAIN I hope so too, Grandpa. GRANDPA WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUZZIN’ BUZZIN’ THROUGH THE HOURS STEALIN’ ALL THE HONEY FROM THE WILLIN’ FLOWERS BE A FLY, BE A BEE BE A HUMMIN’BIRD OUT TO SPREE BE ANYTHING AT ALL AGNES BUT A GIRL GRANDPA WOULD YOU LIKE TO KEEP MOVIN’ MOVIN’ ALL AROUND LATCHIN’ ON TO PLEASURES ANYWHERE IT’S FOUND BE A BIRD IN A TREE OR A LITTLE OLD FISH IN THE SEA BE ANYTHING AT ALL AGNES & TOOTIE BUT A GIRL GRANDPA DON’T BE BRASSY DON’T BE SASSY DON’T BE LATE FOR SCHOOL DON’T BE LAZY DON’T BE CRAZY KEEP THE GOLDEN RULE IF THERE IS SOMETHIN’ THAT CHYA REALLY WANNA DO HERE’S WHAT I SUGGEST TO YOU MR. SMITH [Offstage.] Can’t a man soak in silence! GRANDPA DON’T BE ROWDY DON’T BE DOWDY DON’T GET INTO SUN DON’T BE SCRAPPY DON’T BE HAPPY DON’T HAVE ANY FUN NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER SHOULD A GIRL EVER HAVE ANY FUN AGNES & TOOTIE None? GRANDPA NO! ALL THREE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO STEPPIN’? STEPPIN’ HIGH AND WIDE WITH A FOUR LEAF CLOVER ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE GRANDPA BE A HIM! BE A HE! AGNES & TOOTIE BUT FOR PITY’S SAKE DON’T BE SHE! GRANDPA BE ANYTHING GRANDPA & AGNES BE ANYTHING ALL THREE BE ANYTHING AT ALL GRANDPA BUT A GIRL GRANDPA & AGNES BUT A GIRL ALL THREE BUT A GIRL! [Thanks to solomientoBarry@yahoo.com for lyrics]
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