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Musical: Jerry Springer: the Opera
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WARM UP MAN: Tacky! Tack-tack-tack tacky queen! AUDIENCE: Tacky! Tack-tack-tack tacky queen! TREMONT: You can hush all your shouting, you can hush all your bitching, you can talk to the hand, cos the face aint listening! AUDIENCE: Loser! Loser! TREMONT: Talk to the hand! AUDIENCE: Loser! TREMONT: Talk to the hand! AUDIENCE: Loser! TREMONT: Talk to the hand! AUDIENCE: Loser! TREMONT: ...cos the face aint listening! AUDIENCE: Loser! Faggot! TREMONT: Look at little piggy, see how she squeal, my advice for you bitch, get a face peel! AUDIENCE: Loser! Loser! Butt boy! TREMONT: ...to the hand! AUDIENCE: Loser! Loser! Butt boy! TREMONT: Hush your dirty mouth, my tubby lady chimp, lose the facial hair and you might find a pimp! AUDIENCE: Loser! Loser! Lo-ser! TREMONT: To the hand! AUDIENCE: You so tragic, you so sad! Cos your brother is your dad! TREMONT: Talk to the hand! AUDIENCE: You so scum, you so dumb, cos you live off gay men's cum! TREMONT: Do you want some, do you want some? AUDIENCE: Come and get it, come and get it! TREMONT: Do you want some, do you want some? AUDIENCE: Come and get it, come and get it! TREMONT: When you're dead and buried in the grass, I'll dig you up and fuck you up the ass! AUDIENCE: Talk to the hand! TREMONT: Cos the face aint listening! AUDIENCE: Talk to the hand! TREMONT: Cos the face aint listening! AUDIENCE: Talk to the hand! (repeated) TREMONT: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na (continued) AUDIENCE: Talk to the hand cos the face aint listening, talk to the hand, TREMONT: To the hand to the hand! AUDIENCE: Talk to the hand TREMONT: To the hand, AUDIENCE: To the... AUDIENCE: Vomit! Vomit! Vomit! Puke our guts up! Sin! Sin! Kill all gays! Kill all gays! JERRY (spoken): Welcome to the show, Tremont. Now, let me get this straight, she says she's his, she says he's hers, they say he's theirs, I guess you're saying he's yours, so what's going on? TREMONT: She said that he said that I said, that I said that he said that she said, that they said that she said we both said that he said that I said that you said something or other, I forget! TREMONT, DWIGHT, PEACHES, and ZANDRA: She said that he said that I said, that I said that he said that they said... TREMONT: She said that he said that I said that we said they both said that I said that she said that I said that she said ZANDRA (at the same time): He is mine! He is mine! PEACHES (at the same time): I don't think so, I don't think so! TREMONT, DWIGHT, PEACHES and ZANDRA: He said that you said, he said that you said... TREMONT: Does it really matter? DWIGHT, PEACHES and ZANDRA: What? TREMONT: Does it really matter? DWIGHT, PEACHES and ZANDRA: What? TREMONT: Cos, at the end of the day I-- I-- I-- I love you. I love you. AUDIENCE: Chick with a dick with a heart! TREMONT: I love you! I love you! AUDIENCE: Chick with a dick with a heart! TREMONT: I love yo--u yo--u AUDIENCE: Chick with a dick with a heart! AUDIENCE: Ladyboy! Nothing but a ladyboy! Fuck the faggot! Butt boy! DWIGHT, PEACHES and ZANDRA: What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fucking fucking fuck? JERRY (spoken): Okay, Dwight, who's it going to be? DWIGHT: I want my baby back, Peaches, baby, please come back! They dont mean shit to me! They just whores and douche bags. AUDIENCE: Steve. Steve. JERRY (spoken): Well Peaches it's your call, where do we go from here? PEACHES: You don't see me cry. You don't see me cry. I just sing and die. Bisexual, bye bye! PEACHES and WARM UP MAN: Bisexual, bye bye. AUDIENCE (softly): Bisexual, bye bye (repeated). PEACHES: You're just a tramp! DWIGHT: Come on, baby! PEACHES: You're just a crack whore! ZANDRA: It wasnt me it was the smack! PEACHES: You're just a butt plugging, cum loving man loving TREMONT: Talk to the hand... PEACHES: ...guy sucking, sodomising, crack head, man whore TREMONT: Talk to the hand... PEACHES: Losers! AUDIENCE: Losers! Losers! Losers! JERRY (spoken): More secrets after these commercials, dont go away! Back to main page: Jerry Springer: the Opera Lyrics
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